


What It Means to be Me

by RainbowDonkeys



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mpreg, markhyuck is the main couple, mild violence, nomin is also a big focus, the rest are all side couples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 56,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowDonkeys/pseuds/RainbowDonkeys
Summary: As the pups come of age, they have to figure out their places within the pack.nct abo au.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 313
Kudos: 785





	1. prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> "One day, Mark, I'll take care of you. I promise," Donghyuck said firmly. 
> 
> Mark and Jaemin began to chuckle at the tiny boy and he humphed and crossed his arms, serious in his words. 
> 
> "Alright," Mark answered, humoring the younger boy. 
> 
> He had no idea how true Donghyuck's statement would end up being. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> firstly, I'd like to start off by saying that the major character death tag is there for a reason. HOWEVER it will not be a surprise. you will know who it is and why from about chapter two. 
> 
> secondly, this is a sequel to my fic what it means to be yours, which you can find on this account or my aff page. I don't think you would need to read it to understand this fic but I think a lot of dynamics of this pack/the characters will be better understood if you read the first part. 
> 
> thirdly if you have read what it means to be yours already, this fic will not be focused on those characters, instead it will be focused on their children aka the dreamies. but they will come up often. also, there will be no smut this time.

Things were so simple when they were just kids. 

Anyone can guess how a pup will present when they grow up but when its not a sure thing, friendships can be made so easily, without the distraction of status. 

And that's how they were, sitting just outside the hut after school was finished, just eight years old, playing before it was time to go home. It was how they had been since they were babies, and how they thought it would always be.

"What are we gonna do over the weekend?" Chenle asked, squeezing Jisung's hand. Even at such a young age they had promised themselves to one another. After all, their future status was obvious: Chenle had always seemed like an omega and Jisung would clearly become an alpha.

The whole group looked to Mark for the answer. "Let's go to the lake," he responded. Mark was their tallest, their biggest, their strongest; their most obvious future alpha and definite leader. 

"Okay!" Donghyuck answered excitedly, smiling up at Mark. He'd been the biggest baby of the group but now, he was the smallest, always deferential to his best friend. 

"Won't it be cold?" Renjun asked, the status mystery of their group. "And what if there are predators? My dad said there's been a lot of tigers and lions around recently..." 

Mark stood up and crossed his arms, making the most fierce expression a little eight year old boy could. "Then I'll fight them off! I'll protect you all. That's my job, after all." 

"But Mark, they're lions. Even my dad is scared about that. And my dad is the Head," Jaemin answered, nodding his head. 

"Taeyong may be the Head but he doesn't know everything..." Donghyuck piped up. "Mark's strong." 

"Of course," Mark answered with a smile. 

"Jisung," A loud voice called. The boy perked up to see Jeno walking towards him. 

"What?" Jisung whined. 

"It's time to go home. Papa and dad want us back."

"Why? The house is always too busy! Don't they want us gone?" Jisung cried. The other boys chuckled. Jeno and Jisung's parents, Yukhei and Jungwoo, were notorious for having the most pups in the whole pack: four, and nobody doubted that more may be on the way. 

"You know how they are," Jeno answered.

"I don't wanna go!" 

"Come on..." 

With a sigh and a kiss to Chenle's cheek, Jisung stood up and walked over to his brother. The other boys just stared; Jeno had a different group of friends. 

"Bye guys!" Jisung said, smiling at Chenle. 

"H-Hi Jaemin," Jeno stuttered, ignoring everyone else. 

"Yo," Jaemin casually responded. 

Jeno flushed and looked down at the ground, and tugged Jisung off to go. 

As if on cue, another soft voice came towards them. 

"Chenlele! Renjunnie! Time to come home to daddy and papa!" 

The boys looked up to see Yuta, the typically tough alpha cooing at his two pups. Most of the pack would be shocked to see him like this but the group of pups knew he was always like this. 

"Coming!" Renjun said, grabbing his and Chenle's bags and running over to his dad. Chenle waved goodbye and followed after him. 

"Winwinie brought us yummy berries and we're gonna all make a pie together..." The remaining boys heard Yuta say to his children as they walked off into the distance, and eventually, his voice disappeared. 

Once Mark, Jaemin, and Donghyuck were alone, they all looked at each other. 

"How are you getting home?" 

"Dad's picking me up," Jaemin answered. 

"Ten or Taeyong?" Mark asked. 

"Taeyong." 

"It's really cool that even though Taeyong's the Head Alpha, he still picks you up from school," Donghyuck said. 

"If I'm Head Alpha, I'll do the same thing," Mark added. 

"What about you guys?" Jaemin asked.

"Mine too," Donghyuck added. 

"Johnny or Taeil?" Jaemin asked. 

"Both, I think. You, Markie?" 

"I'm gonna walk home." 

"Alone?" Donghyuck pouted. 

"Yeah. Both my parents are busy hunting, after all." Mark was the famous only child of Doyoung and Jaehyun, the only beta/alpha couple in their pack. 

"But what if you get hurt? Will you be okay?" Donghyuck asked. 

"Of course. I can take care of myself, just like I take care of all of you guys." 

Donghyuck looked shyly at the floor before staring up at Mark. "One day, Mark, I'll take care of you. I promise," he said, quietly but firmly.

Mark and Jaemin began to chuckle at the tiny boy and he humphed and crossed his arms, serious in his words.

"Alright," Mark answered, humoring the younger boy.

He had no idea how true Donghyuck's statement would end up being.


	2. one.

Growing pains had hit the young pups hard, harder than most. 

On the surface, things seemed similar, the now teens sitting around and chatting after school. They were still friends.

But things were infinitely different. 

"Where are you guys headed?" Jaemin asked Chenle and Jisung as they started walking down the path, hand in hand. 

Chenle turned around. "Just home," he explained, and he and Jisung came back to talk. Jisung leaned against a tree and Chenle leaned on Jisung, Jisung's arm wrapped protectively around his waist.

"Still waiting?" Donghyuck teased, smirking at the couple.

"We're seventeen now! I have to get a heat soon!" Chenle whined. 

"It's been so long," Jisung groaned lowly. Both Chenle and Jisung had presented as everyone had assumed they would as children: Chenle as the omega, and Jisung as the alpha. Now they were just waiting for when they could officially mate, like they'd planned since they were kids, but Chenle had to have a heat for that to happen. 

"Poor Renjun," Donghyuck answered. 

"Yeah, you guys are always at Yuta and Sicheng's house," Jaemin added. 

"Come on. I have five brothers and sisters; we can't be at my place," Jisung rebutted. 

"But what happens when you _do_ go into heat and Renjun's in the house with you guys?" Donghyuck asked. 

Chenle shrugged. "Sucks to be him." 

"You're an asshole!" Jaemin cried and Jisung poked Chenle's ribcage, but Chenle just rolled his eyes. Donghyuck chuckled at the couple's antics.

"Speaking of, where is he?" Jisung asked. 

"I dunno...he kinda just ran home once class ended..." Jaemin worriedly answered. 

Chenle sighed and looked down at the ground; nobody would know about this better than Renjun's twin Chenle.

"He still hasn't presented?" Donghyuck asked quietly, everyone staring at Chenle. He nodded quickly at the dirt floor, and all of them grimaced; the rest of the pups their age had presented at least a year or two before. 

"I mean anyone can smell that his scent is different. Not absent, fainter but not absent. It's just different, really, just different," Chenle explained. "He's just..." he sighed again. "He kinda just wants to be left alone." They were silent in thought for a moment before Jisung squeezed Chenle's hand. The two boys shared a look, talking without speaking.

"Alright; I think we'll head out now," Chenle said. It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Tell Renjun we miss him," Jaemin answered. 

"Will do!" Chenle called back, putting on a happy face as he and Jisung went back home. 

And they left, and the group of friends became as it usually was these days: just Jaemin and Donghyuck. 

"What are you up to now?" Jaemin asked. 

"Jack shit," Donghyuck answered and scoffed. "I was gonna go try to hunt..." 

Donghyuck was interrupted by a loud group of alphas their age, all too familiar to Jaemin and Donghyuck at this point, walking towards them. Donghyuck held back a growl and positioned himself in front of Jaemin, understanding why his friend had asked in the first place; how could Jaemin leave his side in the face of this? 

"Fuck it's Jaemin!" One of the kids cried. "Wonder how our Head Alpha feels about his son being Lee Donghyuck's bitch omega?" 

"Shut the fuck up," Donghyuck growled, Jaemin wincing at his tone of voice. 

None of the alphas answered him. "The pack disappointment. I mean, at least he's pretty." 

Donghyuck made a move to lunge forward but Jaemin tugged on his wrist. 

"Come on, Hyuck, let's just go." 

Donghyuck took a deep breath, in and out, before releasing the tension in his body. 

"Fine," he shakily answered, and with a last glare to the alphas they ran off. 

"Ooh, scents can be deceiving! Maybe our Hyuck is a bitch omega too." 

Donghyuck paused, his back muscles rolling, before Jaemin stood firmly in front of him.

"Don't. Listen," Jaemin said firmly to Donghyuck, and started running again. After a beat, Donghyuck followed. 

The two friends reached a far distance quickly enough, their usual favorite spot: a hidden rock, hidden in the depths of the forest, hidden from the prying and judgement of the whole pack. 

Donghyuck was panting, not from the running. Jaemin gave him a moment.

"All I want. Is to _get_ those motherfuckers," he growled. 

Jaemin shuddered. "I know. I know, Donghyuck, but our friendship..." 

"I know. It's a delicate balance. I...I'm sorry." 

It was hard for their peers to understand that Jaemin, an omega, and Donghyuck, an alpha, were friends. Just friends. Sometimes, it was hard to keep that friendship too.

"It's okay. I know how hard you try, not to...scare me." 

"What those alphas say to you is so disgusting, as an alpha it's _hard_ -" 

"You're the only one I can stand. You're the only one I can fucking stand," Jaemin answered.

"I get it. I can't stand alphas either. Except Jisung, maybe. He's a horny ditz but he's not an asshole. Well...there's a reason you're my best friend." 

Jaemin took a deep breath. "I'm just so sick of it, Donghyuck. I get it, haha, it's _so_ funny, the Head Alpha only has one child and he's an omega who can't take on the title. How disappointing, how sad for our Head Alpha, on top of this famine his mate exclusively births a disappointment-" 

"Jaemin, you know it's just the alphas that say that-" 

"Not. True. It's not true! Today, I heard my teacher, my _omega_ teacher telling some of the other staff how sad it was for our Head Taeyong that my status turned out this way. Boo fucking hoo. I mean...are they not capable of thinking about how I feel? I've had to put up with this shit as soon as I presented-" 

"And you presented early." 

"Yeah. First of the pups our age. Thirteen god damn years old. It started from the beginning, from the very beginning. The whole pack was, like, in _mourning_ or something when I first presented...I didn't fucking _die_ or anything. I mean...now they must be glad; everyone hates my dad. Ever since this famine hit...well, I'm sure they're happy no one from his line can take over the title." 

"Only an idiot would think this is his fault; the weather's just gotten terrible. No food can live or grow here; of course it's going to be hard," Donghyuck responded in the soft voice he always used when talking to Jaemin about Taeyong. 

"Don't worry, Hyuck, you can be honest. I hate him too." Donghyuck gave Jaemin a surprised look. "You think he was excited to have an omega child?" Jaemin scoffed. "He was the most disappointed of anyone." 

"God Jaemin-" 

"I'm just your pathetic omega bitch, disappointment of the pack." 

Donghyuck swallowed thickly. "I know you're not. You know you're not. Our friends know you're not." 

"That's...kind of _it_ though. It's hard to believe when the entire pack is telling you otherwise."

"I...I can't imagine. I can't imagine what it's like to be you." 

Jaemin chuckled sadly. "Things were supposed to be so different, you know? We were promised such different things when we were young. Everyone told me I'd be an alpha. I mean, well, everyone mostly wanted me to be an alpha, they wanted it so bad that they _begged_ it of me; they thought that by telling me over and over, that I would just be one. The best Head in years having the best heir. And now look. All we have is famine. My dad is no longer the best Head in years. And he doesn't even have a fucking heir. How pathetic for him, how pathetic for me." Jaemin got off the rock and flopped down in the grass. His stomach growled, but both boys ignored it. "At least Chenle and Jisung have had an alright go of it, except for Chenle's heat being not as early as they hoped." 

"Jisung's not the all powerful alpha people expected him to be." 

Jaemin scoffed. "You think he gives a shit? He could be if he wanted to; all he cares about is being Chenle's mate." 

"True." 

"Out of the brothers, though, Renjun's had a much rougher future than Chenle. I mean...not knowing your status, at this age? That would be...frightening," Jaemin said. "Worse than being an omega." Both boys were silent for a moment, thinking of the fate of their close friend. Jaemin eventually shook his head and cleared his throat. "How about you? How was your life supposed to be different?" 

"Come on. Everyone knows how my life was supposed to go." 

"Remind me." 

"I was gonna be Mark's omega mate," Donghyuck answered.

Jaemin sighed deeply. "That's right. And Mark was gonna be head too, if I wasn't an alpha." 

They both laughed sadly at the thought. 

"Mark's really had the worst fate of us all: promised to be a strong alpha and all that, omega mate and possible Head. Now look at him." 

Donghyuck looked down at the ground with a pained expression on his face. 

"Come on," Jaemin groaned. "We haven't even seen the guy in seven years." 

"Don't be so heartless," Donghyuck spoke, a little too loudly. "He's been _so fucking sick_ for seven years that he can't leave his cabin and meet anyone." 

"I heard that's what happens when a beta has a pup," Jaemin mumbled, thinking of Mark's parents, Doyoung and Jaehyun. "Kun once told me that Mark was lucky he got to be healthy for the first ten years of his life; that even that was a miracle." Donghyuck winced and gripped the rock tightly. Jaemin turned to look at him, surprise and concern etched on his face. "Do you miss him?" 

Donghyuck didn't answer for many moments. "I don't think I've ever cared about anybody as much as I cared about him, when I was young." 

Jaemin swallowed and looked back up at the sky, processing. "It's crazy. None of us have seen him for seven years and he was so close to us all before. We don't even know his status, if he's presented at all..." Jaemin cleared his throat. "Hyuck...would you mate with him?" 

"If things were different...I think so. I think so." 

"I don't wanna mate," Jaemin answered. 

"Not even me?" Donghyuck cried. 

Jaemin made a retching noise. "You least of all!" He cried, and both of them knew that was genuine. "How could I mate some weak ass alpha that still holds a candle for his childhood crush?" 

Donghyuck laughed back, the mood lightened. It was okay when it was Jaemin, all just teasing. 

"But wait, Jaemin...really? You don't wanna have a mate?" 

"No way...no fucking way. I hate all alphas, remember?" 

"True, true. And they deserve it." 

"God, you know my dad, Ten? When he was young he used to have _fun_...I wanna have fun like that. Fuck with alphas like he used to. Not soften up and take a mate like he did, with Taeyong."

"And nobody would be better at that than you," Donghyuck answered. 

"I sure as hell hope so." Jaemin sat up and looked around. "You think those alphas went home? I promised dad I'd try to help him with scavenging..." 

"You think you're gonna find anything in the eternal winter of this god damn fucking famine?" 

"Weren't you the one who said you were gonna try hunting earlier?" Jaemin rebutted before dropping the teasing tone. "We...We're all trying." Donghyuck's stomach growled, this time, the sound so usual in their daily lives now that they could barely hear it. 

"You're right. You're right. And don't worry about those alphas; I'll walk you home." 

Jaemin grinned as Donghyuck stood up. "Thanks." 

The two walked home in silence, the dark cold of their territory surrounding them, pressing on them like a wet blanket, chilling them to the bone. Adult alphas began to return from the woods after the hunt, Jaemin and Donghyuck watching. Like usual, there was close to nothing, just rabbits and deer, nothing enough to feed the size of their pack. But the teenagers didn't say anything, not even to each other.

They finally got to the Head Alpha's cabin, standing at the door. 

"Where are you headed now?" 

"Oh, just home," Donghyuck answered, looking anywhere but at Jaemin, playing with his fingers. "The usual." 

"Alright. Keep your eyes out," Jaemin said; they both knew for who: those boys never left them alone. 

"Always do." 

"See you at dinner." 

"The one meal!" Donghyuck cried excitedly. They shared their usual smile, the smile of companionship, of emptiness, and Jaemin shut the door. 

Donghyuck took a deep breath and walked away. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After dropping Jaemin off, Donghyuck took his time heading to his next destination. Because of Mark's illness someone would have to be home, but Donghyuck was always afraid that Head Alpha Taeyong would call both of Mark's parents to help on the hunt and he would have to wait until they came back. 

It was fruitless. It was fruitless anyways, but Donghyuck would still try. He would always try. 

The alpha teen reached Doyoung and Jaehyun's cabin, knocking on the door. He paused; nothing. He knocked again. 

The third time was the charm and a frazzled looking Jaehyun answered the door, not opening all the way, almost hiding himself behind the wood. When Donghyuck used to come for his daily visits when he was young Doyoung was the one that answered the door. He was the beta; the clear caretaker of a sick pup. But once the famine started things had switched; now Jaehyun answered the door. Donghyuck figured Doyoung was the better hunter despite his status; it was written all over the shame in Jaehyun's face at being made to stay home. 

"Donghyuck-" He said, his expression pained. At this point, nobody had to say why Donghyuck was there. 

"Mr. Jung, _please_ ," Donghyuck begged. 

The adult alpha rested his face in his palms. "It's been seven years, Donghyuck. Seven years and you _still_ come every single day, even though the answer is always the same. It...it breaks my heart but it's still a no." 

"I can't see him?" 

Jaehyun looked at Donghyuck, breathing in and out heavily before averting his eyes to the ground. "I...I...Donghyuck...I'll take a look at him." 

Donghyuck gave Jaehyun a nervous but happy smile; it wasn't often that Doyoung or Jaehyun did this much for him. Usually it was just a no and an order to leave, and occasionally a threat to tell Donghyuck's parents about what he was doing (although they never did). 

The alpha teen came in closer to the door as Jaehyun ducked to the back of the house, seemingly to talk to Mark. Soon enough he heard a conversation, too muffled to make out what anyone was saying. But he knew Jaehyun's voice, he knew Doyoung's voice, and the person Jaehyun was talking to was not Doyoung. 

It had been so long since Donghyuck had even a glimpse of Mark's voice and he melted at the muffled sound. It was weaker than when they were kids, deeper too. All Donghyuck needed now was just to hear what they were _saying._

All the excitement disappeared though when Jaehyun returned; his expression told Donghyuck this was a lost cause. 

"You can't. It's...the sickness. Donghyuck, if you're carrying any sort of illness, even if you can't feel it, Mark probably will catch it. And then he'll...." Jaehyun shuddered; he couldn't even finish that sentence. "You don't want that, do you?" 

Donghyuck swallowed and looked down at the floor; it was weird to see a strong alpha like Jaehyun getting so emotional. 

"I understand," he mumbled back. 

"But...but Donghyuck I'm _sorry_. You're sweet, and you try so, so hard, and oh my god sometimes I can't believe you're an alpha if it wasn't for your scent, you're just so caring..." Jaehyun cleared his throat. "Anyways, Donghyuck, we...thank you. It's good to know some of Mark's old friends still care. And...I'm sorry. Again I'm sorry, I wish-" 

"I understand Mr. Jung. I hope I'm not a bother," Donghyuck answered. 

Jaehyun took a deep breath before answering. "No, you're not." The adult alpha looked around at the darkening sky. "You should get home before it gets dark." 

Donghyuck nodded. "Will do, Mr. Jung. Say hello to Mark for me." 

Jaehyun smiled as much as he could, taking in the words Donghyuck always spoke before he left. "Of course, Donghyuck. Stay safe; you've grown up well." 

Donghyuck gave that almost fake smile back and left their doorway, hearing it shut behind him. He took a deep breath, shook himself off, and made for home. 

This thing he did, every day since Mark was pulled out of school because of his sickness...it was like his dirty little secret, that only Mark's parents knew about. Donghyuck wasn't even sure if Mark knew he came around every day. It was strange, he knew, for all the reasons Jaemin had teased him before. But Donghyuck couldn't stop. It tied him to better days, to an idea that sometime in the future, all of the problems in this pack would be fixed. 

That the famine would be gone. That the pack would love Head Alpha Taeyong again. That nobody would make fun of Jaemin for being an omega; that they would respect his status. That Mark wouldn't be sick anymore. 

Donghyuck liked Doyoung and Jaehyun well enough. They had never told his parents about these visits, after all, and Donghyuck knew his dad and papa would be beyond worried if they knew about Donghyuck's lingering feelings. But he always had a feeling they never told him the whole truth. How come they got to be with Mark even though they went out and about among the pack, bringing home germs to him too? If that was really the case, shouldn't Mark just be in total isolation with Kun, the pack healer? 

But Donghyuck shook the thoughts from his mind. This was not his place. He couldn't and shouldn't take advantage of Mark's parents, who were really just doing their best for him. It was Donghyuck's fault that as hard as he might try, he couldn't forget the past. 


	3. two.

Donghyuck spent the walk home trying to shake off his day, for his parent's sake. Going through Jaemin's words, the horrible alphas, his visit to Mark's. Once his mind had cycled through all of those events, he could put on a good face for his dad and papa. 

Donghyuck’s parents were good people, at the end of the day. He knew the circumstances of his parent’s meeting and although the whole situation was questionable, his father Johnny had been the best of all the kidnappers. His papa Taeil was happier; from the stories of his youth, and the expressions and tones he used when telling those tales, Donghyuck could see that much. 

They worked hard and still loved each other, truly, even after all of these years. Like everyone else, they’d expected Donghyuck to present as an omega, but they weren’t disappointed either way. 

They were good people, and that’s why they couldn’t know about the Mark thing. They would want Donghyuck to grow up, to move on, only in the healthiest sense possible. 

But truly, Donghyuck didn't think he could do that. 

After a final deep breath and a little shake of his head, he opened the door. 

"Hi honey!" Taeil cooed, giving his son a hug. Donghyuck tried to ignore how skinny his omega father had become, so different from the gentle squishy hugs of his youth. Well, maybe Donghyuck had just gotten bigger too. "How was school today?" 

"Oh," Donghyuck chuckled, "Same old, same old. I wish those alphas would lay off Jaemin, but otherwise pretty good." 

"I know," Taeil answered with a sigh. "I can't believe they're not nice just because he's an omega." Donghyuck was glad that both his parents thought "not nice" was the extent of the bullying Jaemin (and by association, himself) received. 

"Where's dad?" 

"He went with Head Alpha Taeyong for one last quick run around the territory. Just in case," Taeil said, sadness in his voice. Donghyuck exhaled and nodded; if they came back with anything extra it would be a miracle. "Anyways, what have you been up to now? It's a bit late..." 

"Jaemin and I hung out for a while, then I took a short walk." 

"You walked him home, right?" 

"Of course papa; I'm a good alpha." 

"Yes you are," Taeil answered just as the front door opened. Donghyuck's father Johnny looked gaunt and exhausted but he smiled at his mate and son all the same. 

"Hello love," Johnny spoke, walking in and giving his mate a kiss on the top of the head. Sometimes knowing his parent's history made Donghyuck's stomach turn, but seeing his dad look down at his papa with so much love, and seeing his papa look back up with even more love, made him feel much better. They then shared a peck on the lips and Donghyuck gagged. Even though it was nice seeing them happy with each other, they were still his parents. 

Johnny chuckled and ruffled Donghyuck's hair before sitting down beside him. "Hyuckie, don't be like that. Aren't you glad your parents still love each other even after all these years?" 

"Yes, but not in front of me!" Donghyuck cried. 

Johnny chuckled. "How was school?" 

"Same old, same old. I told papa all about it already. How was hunting?" 

"Same old same old. And gathering, Taeil?" 

Taeil snorted. "Same old, same old." 

"Wait!" Johnny piped up. "I do have news. You know the test hunt is in a few weeks, right?" 

"Of course," Donghyuck answered. In fact, nobody at school would shut up about it. 

The test hunt was one of the most important traditions in their pack. It was a five day venture for every seventeen year old alpha, testing their survival and hunting abilities in the wilderness. The Head Alpha would take all of these teen alphas into the edges of their territory to watch their hunting, fighting, and living skills. It was the biggest coming of age event other than presenting in an alpha's life. It also was a chance for alphas to show off, to gain a good reputation for the omegas, and for the Head Alpha to nominate the next head. 

Donghyuck didn't care nearly as much as most of his classmates. Technically it was optional, but Donghyuck would still go. His life was so not...that sort of life though. He really focused way more on his omega friends than the other alphas his age. And really, it was such an alpha thing.

"It's crazy that you're going for your test hunt already...it feels like you were a little baby in my arms just yesterday," Taeil said. Donghyuck rolled his eyes but smiled anyways. 

"You're really growing up, and growing up well. I'm sure you'll do amazing. Have you been practicing?" 

"Sometimes," Donghyuck answered. Occasionally he'd go into the forest and hunt to try and get some more food for the pack, so they could eat more and to clear his head. He never did it to practice for the test hunt, but he still figured it counted. 

"Good, good," Johnny said very proudly. 

"Gosh, you're really growing up fast. Soon enough you'll be thinking about mating," Taeil said. 

"Didn't you not want to mate, like, forever?" 

"It's different for omegas. And I was very unusual," Taeil explained. 

"Are you sure you don't have an omega in mind? Come on, I know we're your parents but you can tell us anything. We won't share," Johnny said. 

There wasn't anyone Donghyuck could say. There was always Mark pressing in the back of his mind, when he thought of mating, but he would seem absurd if he said that out loud. He hadn't even seen the guy in seven years; he didn't know if he was an omega at all. 

"There's really no one," Donghyuck answered. 

"What about some of your friends? They're so sweet..." Taeil started. 

"If either of you even whisper Jaemin's name I will literally get up and leave the cabin." 

"Of course not, of course not! We know you two are just friends..." Taeil answered, sharing a sheepish look with his mate. 

"What about Renjun?" 

"He still hasn't presented." 

"Still?" Johnny asked with concern, and Donghyuck nodded. 

"Yuta and Sicheng should really take him to Kun's..." Taeil mumbled. 

"Anyways...Donghyuck, just remember, whatever omega you do go for...don't focus on things like appearance, or standing in the pack. Focus on their personality: are they kind? Do they work hard? Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?" 

"I know, I know," Donghyuck answered. 

"Don't give me that. Those are the reasons we're so happy," Taeil answered. "We focused on what was important and it's paid off." 

"And you know, don't take this as us wanting you to mate right this second. Take your time! I know many of the omegas your age are starting to get their first heats and may want...you know, but keep your head about you. Get to know an omega before you mate them. We waited a little, after all." 

Donghyuck breathed a sigh of relief. They didn't think Donghyuck's behavior was strange; they didn't suspect a thing. 

"Of course dad, of course papa. I don't want to mate right out of school either." 

"Good choice," Johnny said, looking out the window. "Oh! Looks like dinner's soon. Shall we head out?" 

"Yes please, I'm starving," Taeil said. 

"Don't need to say that again," Donghyuck answered. The teen alpha put on his game face, and into the cold they went back out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

"And...nothing. As per mother fucking usual," Ten sighed. The truth of his words was terrifying but both he and his son Jaemin shared a giggle all the same. Jaemin had been truthful about helping his dad with gathering that day, but Donghyuck had been right about not having much luck. All the same, he still had fun. 

"Can we head home? It's fucking freezing," Jaemin complained. 

"Yes please," Ten groaned back and with a shared chuckle, they raced back to their big cabin (courtesy of being the Head Alpha's mate and son, of course). They rushed inside and slammed the door, Ten running to start a small fire with shaking fingers. It was dark and empty inside, of course. Taeyong wasn't around much these days, with the famine and all. He had to hunt as long as his body would allow or else the pack would destroy him for not trying hard enough. The pack hated him enough as it was. 

When Ten finally managed to get the fire going, Jaemin brought two blankets over, drapping it on his dad's shoulders and then his own. They sat, shivering for a few moments, before Ten gave Jaemin a smile. 

"We got so wrapped up in failing to gather that-" 

"Dad, we got so wrapped up in gossiping about Xiaojun," Jaemin rebutted. 

"Ah, right." Ten smirked at his son. "We are omegas after all." 

"That's our job," Jaemin said and they shared a giggle. 

"But seriously, I wanted to ask, how was school today?" 

Jaemin groaned and flopped onto the floor. "It was a bitch. As per usual." 

Ten snorted. Jaemin hadn't had to worry about cursing in front of his dad for a long time. They were close like that. 

"I fucking hated school too. Couldn't wait to get out of there," Ten answered. 

"Yeah. I hate that, and the shitty alphas." 

"Ugh! I know, right? I always wished they made separate schools. Why are alphas such dicks?" 

"So true." 

Ten's voice went down a few pitches. "They're still going after you?" Jaemin nodded quietly and sighed. Ten knew about the bullying Jaemin faced, but not the full extent of it. "They should respect you; you're the Head Alpha's son." 

"In what world would your average alpha ever respect an omega?" 

Ten sighed. "I guess that's true." 

The two sat in front of the fire quietly for a few minutes longer, their limbs finally warming up, although they knew that as soon as they stepped away they'd get cold again. The cold weather seemed to penetrate everywhere these days, even into their homes: a constant reminder of the disintegration of their pack's society through famine. 

"You know what I want dad?" Jaemin finally spoke up. 

"What?" 

"An alpha's love. I want to see what that feels like." 

"Like a mate? I mean, you're a bit young..." Ten mumbled. 

"No way. I don't wanna have to return that love, you know? Like...what you had. In your old pack." 

Ten pointedly stared at the fire. "That wasn't love, Jaemin. Jaemin, you do have real love from alphas. You have Donghyuck, and your dad." 

"Donghyuck and I are just friends. Now I know how much easier it would be for everyone to understand if he and I just got together, but that's never going to happen. We have always been just friends, and we always will be." 

"I didn't mean that, Jaemin, I mean he loves you as a friend. As a brother." 

Jaemin ignored him. "And as for Taeyong?" He scoffed. "He doesn't love me." 

Ten took a long time to respond before giving his son a look. "You must be joking. You've got to be." 

Jaemin turned sharply towards him. "What do you mean?" 

"Your dad loves you half to death." 

Jaemin rolled his eyes and Ten shrugged. 

"Back before....the problems, you know, I was not the primary parent. I birthed you, yeah, but it really was Taeyong that did all the work. And fuck did he love that shit. How could an alpha, let alone anyone, have so much fun putting on your fucking diapers? How could anyone have so much fun taking care of a baby crying for hours on hours, tending to scrapes, going to and from school, planning fun things to do... I tried my best but I could never do that shit. Taeyong did, and he loved every minute of it. The only reason he's not at home, by our side, all the time, is because of what's going on in the pack. Honestly, he always sacrificed being a leader to take care of his family until the dissent started. And then with the famine..." 

Jaemin listened, kind of. The dissent among the lower ranked alphas started a year or two before the famine, around when he was eight or nine. He couldn't remember much of his life before then at all, except for the vaguest of promises and memories. So maybe Taeyong had been around then. But he couldn't remember, so what did it matter? 

"He loves you, Jaemin. And when this is all over he'll make it up to you, okay? He'll make up for all that time." 

"Yeah," Jaemin answered, just to shut him up. Why would the Head Alpha waste his time on an omega? And how could he ever believe that these problems could end? He could barely remember a time before them. 

"And I hope you don't think things were better in my old pack. I know I've told you some stories about my wild escapades but they weren't meant to be good stories, you know? I didn't experience any love while I was there. Now I have love, and I am so much happier." 

"Of course, dad, you're right," Jaemin lied. It was hard for him to believe.

Ten cleared his throat and stood up, clearly shivering for a moment. They were too close not to be able to read each other like a book, and Jaemin knew what Ten's staring meant. He was probably being too obvious that Ten's words weren't really going into his brain; this conversation was fruitless. "Let's head over to the bonfire; I think dinner's probably ready." 

"I'm alright. I'm not hungry." 

"Jaemin..." 

"I'm serious, dad," Jaemin answered, looking up at Ten. "Give my share to Mark, alright?" 

Ten deflated. "Promise?" 

"Promise." 

Ten released a final sigh and threw on their heaviest coat, starting for the door. 

"Bring me back some more gossip on the Xiaojun thing alright?" Jaemin asked, grinning, trying to lighten the mood before his dad headed out. It would be better for both of them that way. 

Ten grinned back. "Of course. We can rehash it all night." 

Jaemin waved, and Ten finally left the cabin. 

The omega teen breathed a sigh of relief. 

He hadn't lied. For the first time in years Jaemin actually wasn't hungry, his mind far too occupied by other ideas and plans. 

He needed to be alone, so he could properly think.   
Ten had told Jaemin stories of his youth for many years, as long as it was even sort of appropriate to do so. The multitudes of different alphas he'd "spent the night" with, some powerful, some low ranking, some mated, some years long bachelors, some for fun, some for revenge, some to protect the other members of his pack.

And Ten had definitely been right when he said none of it was love. 

It had all been power.  
He'd used his status to get what he wanted, to break hearts and fuck up lives just for the fun of it, using the one thing he had going for him to his advantage. 

Now, Jaemin wanted that too. Some of that power, just a little taste of it, like alphas had, with their bigger stronger bodies and never obedient minds and thick knots. He hadn't felt power in a long time, not since before he presented, since people knew he was an omega waste. A disappointment. 

But he wanted it back, and he wanted it stronger than ever. 

How would he get it? Easy, same way Ten did. How could he come up with a better plan when the best already existed? 

He'd find some alpha, make him fall in love with him, then throw him away when he was in too deep. He would made this alpha feel exactly like what Jaemin had to go through when he'd presented. He'd give him the same experience Jaemin had, to give all his love but then be abandoned by most of the people he'd known, by the whole pack, by his father Taeyong. 

But who, was the question? Most of the alphas his age sure didn't want him. His friends probably wouldn't work either.

He could never do that Donghyuck, the one alpha that actually gave a shit about him. 

Jisung was practically mated already. 

And nobody knows what Renjun's status is, and if Jaemin did this to him and he turned out to be an omega, that would be a massive waste of time. 

Jaemin was going to have to think outside of the box. 

Laying on the floor of the cabin, staring up at the ceiling, squinting, deep in thought. There had to be someone. 

Maybe one of his friend's siblings? Donghyuck was an only child, Renjun was twins with Chenle a definite omega...

What about Jisung? He had a million fucking siblings, maybe there was someone...

And that's when Jaemin rapidly sat up, his eyes wide, a grin climbing over his face. 

Jeno. Of course it should be Jeno. 

Jeno, who had never really been their friend, too shy to join their group, so there wasn't any special attachment there. Jeno who had defended Jaemin whenever they were both around those bully alphas. Meek, timid, Jeno who had never been able to make eye contact with Jaemin, ever since they were little. Jeno, who looked like a big strong alpha but kind of had the personality of an omega. 

Thinking about it now, honestly, Jeno probably had a little bit of a crush on Jaemin. Always sparing longing glances, never able to make eye contact, always saying hello, never striking up a real conversation. Jaemin laughed out loud, fuck this would be so easy. 

He'd start at school. He would bring Jeno into the group, play it off like a silly little crush he'd developed to all his friends. Maybe he'd tell Donghyuck, maybe not. But it would work. And he'd make an alpha hurt as much as he had, for all of these god damn years. 


	4. three.

It was another average day in Donghyuck's life. 

The cold weather pressed on his skin, almost stinging as he made the walk from Jaemin's cabin to Mark's. School had been fine, talking to Jaemin had been fine, dropping him off at home had been fine, and now this would be fine. He wouldn't get to see Mark but he would try, and things would carry on, same as they always did. 

This was his life. A life of secrets, a life of just okay, a life of pretending things were better. A life of hoping things could change and _be_ better, but not holding out for it.

Donghyuck reached Mark's front door and knocked. Nothing, of course. That was to be expected. 

A second knock, nothing. 

A third knock, and a pause. 

But as Donghyuck pressed his ear against the door he couldn't even hear someone walking around. 

His eyebrows furrowed; that was unusual. 

A fourth knock, and then a fifth. Maybe Jaehyun was asleep. 

Donghyuck sighed. Still no noise coming from inside the cabin. 

Well, he'd give whoever was inside a few minutes. Donghyuck sat himself down on the stairwell in front of the door, leaning back to look at the slowly darkening sky. He couldn't stay out too long; if it was after dark his parents would look for him and that would lead to certain disaster. But he had some time. He could wait, and he would. As long as it took.

This was a new thing. Someone had _always_ answered when Donghyuck knocked, even though it could take a little while. His stomach began to tie up in knots even though Donghyuck tried to keep himself calm. It was probably nothing. 

But it could be something. 

Maybe Doyoung and Jaehyun had finally gotten tired of Donghyuck's fruitless visits, figured it was him at the door, and decided to not even talk to him. Donghyuck could see why they would do that, as much as it hurt. Donghyuck's visits probably hurt Doyoung and Jaehyun too, reminding them that their son could not have a normal life and normal friends.

Or maybe Head Alpha Taeyong had finally called both of them for the hunt. Donghyuck knew Taeyong would be loathe to do such a thing; he was always very insistent on alphas taking care of their omegas and children. And he knew Doyoung and Jaehyun would be loathe to go. But things were desperate, so so desperate that Donghyuck would understand. 

Donghyuck took in a breath and stood up. If they were gone...that would mean Mark was in there alone, without anyone looking over him or taking care of him. What if something happened? What if his illness spiked? What if...

Donghyuck released that breath and gave one last knock to the door. Nothing. 

So, as if on instinct...his hand reached for the doorknob. 

It turned, easily, and opened. Unlocked. 

In the back of Donghyuck's mind he knew it was selfish and incredibly wrong to go any further into the cabin. But with this veneer of worry for Mark's safety he had an excuse and god would he take any reason to get one last glimpse at his most precious childhood friend. He didn't know how long he had; he didn't know when he'd have the chance again.

He walked deeper into the house. The wood creaked under his feet and it was messy, clothes and blankets strewn everywhere, but clean, and warm. Not a speck of dirt on the floor and the fire blazing hot; in fact Donghyuck thought another might be going it was so hot in that cabin. It had always been different from the houses of his friends and his own house, with no adult omega to keep the place like a typical mated cabin. But it was always a safe house for him and his friends. Donghyuck remembered visiting this place in his youth and his heart softened; the place almost hadn't changed a bit.

The only difference was the scent: it had always reeked of alpha; despite Doyoung's beta status his hunting kept the house _very_ alpha. But now there was a hint of omega scent mixed in with everything, toning down the musk and masculinity. It immediately made Donghyuck feel more relaxed.

The fireplace crackled loudly and blazed bright, probably to keep Mark warm. Otherwise it was quiet, almost empty. 

Was Mark even in here? 

Donghyuck easily remembered where Mark's room was and slowly but surely walked towards its door. The door was shut but as Donghyuck approached, he could hear the soft sound of breathing, closer and closer. Someone was in here. 

He was in front of the door. Was he going to do this? 

Donghyuck's mind emptied itself as he pushed open the door to Mark's room. 

Mark quickly lifted his head from a book, Donghyuck's school textbook, he noticed, and dropped it into his lap out of surprise. Otherwise, he was silent. 

Donghyuck was silent too. 

This boy in front of him clearly was Mark, his childhood features still remaining on his face. Of course he looked grown up but he was skinny, way skinnier than he'd been as a child, disturbingly skinny. He looked gaunt and there were dark circles under his eyes. 

Donghyuck had always entertained thoughts of Mark being gone for other reasons. But it was so obvious he was sick, really, too sick to be in the public. 

His heart shattered and he turned around.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, Mark, I shouldn't be here, I'm so selfish-" 

He made a move to leave. 

"Stop!" Mark cried, his voice weak, and Donghyuck whipped around. 

"I'm gonna get you more sick-" 

"No," Mark answered, more softly this time. "I...I think it'll be fine." 

Donghyuck _knew_ it was wrong to stay. But how could he ignore Mark words; how could he leave Mark all alone, in this state? His feelings were a jumble of madness and if he wanted to get any clarity, he'd have to stay. 

So, ever slowly, he stepped in closer. Just one foot in front of the other. 

Mark just looked worse at less distance, layers of blankets covering him despite a fire going both in here and the living room. The room was very empty, just a window, a stack of books, and Mark's bed at the center, and it smelled distinctly like omega in this room. Nobody else in Mark's household was an omega, so he had to be one. It was weird, though, that the room was so empty; usually omegas enjoyed decorating. Mark must not have had the time, or the energy, to spruce up the room.

Mark's scent was beautiful, utterly enticing, but Donghyuck quickly pushed those thoughts away.

The omega looked down, almost shamefully. 

Neither quite knew what to say. It had been so long. So much had happened in those seven years, so much growing, so much changing. 

But despite the length of time, Donghyuck found himself feeling no less love for the boy in bed before him. 

"H-How are you?" Donghyuck managed to choke out, barely.

Mark chuckled. It sounded so sad. "Can't you tell?" 

Donghyuck had to shut his eyes and take a deep breath so he didn't scream. How could this have happened to such a sweet and wonderful boy? In what world did Mark ever deserve such a fate, who had only been just a boy when he'd fallen ill, who only ever wanted to take care of his friends?

"It's not so bad though. It's not so bad, Donghyuck. It's not like I'm...constantly in pain or anything. I just feel kinda sick all the time, you know? Like I always have a cold or something."

Donghyuck deflated a little. "You shouldn't have to live like that," he spoke softly. 

"I know," Mark answered, a twinge of sadness in his voice. "But that's my life. I've dealt with it for a long time now. I'm used to it." 

They both fell back into silence. There was so much to be said, so much unspoken, but they just couldn't _get it out_. 

"So you're an alpha..." Mark eventually spoke with a chuckle in his voice. 

"I know. I was as surprised as you are. In fact, the entire pack was as surprised as you are." 

Mark smiled slightly, the sight beautiful in Donghyuck's worn gaze. "I think I'm still taller than you." 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes at his teasing but smiled back all the same. "I'm pretty sure I'm the shortest alpha in the pack." 

Mark's grin grew and he beckoned Donghyuck nearer. "You can come closer to me." 

Hesitantly, Donghyuck took a step forward. Mark's eyes still watched him expectantly so Donghyuck stepped, further and further from the door, until he was beside Mark's bed. 

"That's better," Mark said with a smile. 

Now he was really close, and he could finally see the full effects of Mark's illness on him. But he was still beautiful. _God_ was Mark still so, so beautiful, his scent almost overwhelming this close.

Donghyuck wasn't sure what was in Mark's mind but the omega boy looked him over quickly before his eyes darted away, a bit of color on his cheeks that hadn't been there since Donghyuck first saw him this afternoon.

"But wait," Donghyuck started, remembering himself. "Is this okay? What if I hurt you?" 

"Really, Donghyuck, it's alright," Mark answered, sincerely so. 

"Then...why did your parents send me away every day? Wait, do you even know..." 

"Yeah, I know." Mark looked away, back down at his lap. "I know you came every day."

Donghyuck looked away as well, not knowing _what_ to think. "Oh...w-"

"Donghyuck, I...I'm just gonna be honest with you now; there's no point in hiding the truth if we've come this far." The omega sighed. "My parents have always said I should socialize more, ever since I first got sick. Kun said that I shouldn't be in big crowds, since that would just overwhelm me and leave me vulnerable to catching something. But he said it was really okay to have a friend or two over sometimes, as long as I could lay down. My parents really wanted me to as well; they don't think its healthy that I don't talk to anyone my own age. But..." Mark sighed, again. "I'm embarrassed. I was so, so embarrassed when I first got sick, and I still am, a little bit." 

"What for?" Donghyuck asked with concern, sitting down on the ground so he and Mark were eye level, instead of just standing over him. 

Mark sighed for a third time, taking a tense moment to answer. "I used to take care of all of you guys!" He cried, and Donghyuck winced at the obvious pain in his voice. "I used to protect all of you, make sure you were safe and happy. But now...now I'm weak. I can't do any of that for you all. I can't do much of anything. So...I'm embarrassed. It's humiliating being like this. And I didn't want you to see me this way, so I had my parents send you off." 

Donghyuck froze and made to leave. "I'm sorry-" 

"No, Donghyuck, please." Donghyuck looked back over at him. "Seeing you now I realize how stupid that was. Yeah, I...it's weird seeing you now; things were so _different_ when we were kids, and they weren't supposed to turn out like this...so yeah, I'm still embarrassed. It was hard at first, especially when all of our other friends and their parents came to see me. It got easier, though, as I forgot about you guys, and how much fun we all had... it got easier to say no to you. But really I should never have stopped myself from seeing you. Things are allowed to change, I guess, they're supposed to." 

Donghyuck could read the tone of Mark's voice, so easily. He was embarrassed about being sick, yes, but he was clearly embarrassed about being an omega too. He was the Head of their little group, and as kids they all imagined he'd be Head of the whole pack. 

"Talking to you, though, has really made me realize..." Mark continued. "How much I missed talking to people my own age, especially our friends from back then. Especially....especially you." 

Donghyuck briefly looked away shyly before relaxing into his seat on the floor, resting his arms on the edge of Mark's bed, and his head on his arms. With a grunt Mark flipped onto his side, so they were facing each other. 

"Mark, do you remember when we were eight or so, and I promised you that one day, I'd take care of you? Just like you took care of me back then?" 

Despite Donghyuck's serious tone and gaze, Mark chuckled a little. "Actually, I do. Jaemin and I laughed so hard at you. You were just so tiny back then, but now you're all big...and strong..." 

Mark shook his head, trying to keep from getting distracted. Donghyuck grinned. "You two did laugh at me a lot, I remember. You didn't think there would ever be a chance for me to watch out for you, to protect you. But...now there is. Mark...I'd like to keep that promise. If you'd let me." 

Mark gazed at him for a short while before slowly nodding. "Yeah...okay." 

No more words needed to be spoken on it. The two just looked at each other for a long time, taking in the people they'd grown into. Desperately, Donghyuck wanted to touch, to feel the softness of Mark's skin beneath the pads of his fingers, even just his hand or cheeks. But Donghyuck resisted, pushed the urge deep down. This was probably already a lot, maybe even too much, for Mark to handle. 

"Where are your parents?" Donghyuck suddenly asked, remembering his excuse for barging in unannounced in the first place. 

"Hunting," Mark explained. "Head Alpha Taeyong needed both of them. They wanted to send me to Kun's but there's no room, and my condition hasn't changed recently enough for someone else to be forced to leave for my sake. Anyways, there was a bit of a fear I'd catch something from the other patients if I stayed there." 

Donghyuck exhaled frustratedly; he didn't like that Mark had been left all alone. But at the same time, he understood. It was what he'd theorized earlier anyways, plus it was no surprise about the healing hut being closed. Cold weather plus famine lead to sickness spreading quickly and easily through the pack. Kun had his hands full; nobody was quite sure how he handled everything. 

"I get it...but I don't like that you were left all alone," Donghyuck answered. 

"Like I said, my condition hasn't changed recently. There isn't really any reason to worry. They should be home soon anyways." 

Donghyuck sighed and nodded; he wasn't sure if he wanted Doyoung and Jaehyun to find out he'd just barged into their house without permission. 

"How about your parents? When do they expect you home?" Mark asked. 

"They're pretty flexible; they don't worry too much since I'm an alpha after all. But if it's a while after dark and I'm not home they might start freaking out. Maybe they'd go look for me." 

Both of their gazes turned to the one window in Mark's room, shut tightly against the cold. It was fogged up from the freezing weather outside pressing against Mark's warm room, but both could see that the light was almost gone. 

They shared a disappointed sigh. Even though they knew Mark's parents would be happy to find out Mark had finally let a friend back into his life, somehow, they both got the feeling that this should be kept a secret. Maybe because they both knew that they weren't really friends, they couldn't be. What they'd rediscovered was different. But god Donghyuck was loathe to be parted from Mark, after all this time, and he could feel that Mark felt the same way. 

Slowly Donghyuck stood up, and the sorrow in Mark's sparkling wide eyes almost made him stay. But he couldn't. 

"Heading back out?" Mark asked, adding a chuckle to mask the pain. Donghyuck only nodded back. With slightly trembling fingers Donghyuck reached out to Mark, maybe to brush some of his black hair out of his eyes, maybe to fix the textbook on his lap, maybe to cup his drawn cheek or run his fingers over Mark's delicate hand, but he snatched himself away before he could do it. This was already too much, far too much. He shouldn't take advantage; he should be grateful for everything he'd gotten this afternoon. It hadn't been exactly how he'd expected, but it was everything he'd dreamed of. 

"You know...you can come back. If you want, of course." 

Donghyuck nodded again, momentarily too overwhelmed by anything to form a proper response. He turned around and made for the door until Mark spoke, his voice choked out and desperate. 

"Donghyuck, please come back," he begged, he pleaded, every emotion within him shot out into that simple phrase. 

The alpha teen turned around, his hands in his pockets, giving Mark the gentlest gaze he could muster. "Of course I will, Mark. I'll be here tomorrow." 

At that Mark slowly began to smile and gave Donghyuck the smallest, most adorable of waves. After a moment Donghyuck finally managed to return the gesture before ducking out as fast as his legs would take him. 

Donghyuck made sure he was a short distance from Mark's house before laughing out loud, breathing sighs of relief and joy and _release,_ frustration and fear held in for so long that finally could be released. 

Mark was alright. Yes, he was clearly unwell, but he was alive and healthy enough to _talk_ and _laugh_ and just _be near_ to Donghyuck. And their friendship wasn't hurt, they were still close; their childhood bond was too strong for any amount of years to have broken.

Mark was back in Donghyuck's life, and never again would Donghyuck let him leave it, as long as he could. 


	5. four.

It was lunchtime at school when Jaemin noticed something was different. 

"Hyuck," he said as they walked to the grassy area where their group usually ate lunch, "You smell like another omega." 

"H-huh?" Donghyuck whipped his head towards his friend. He'd been in sort of a daze all day.

"There's only two omegas you hang out with: me and Chenle. You smell like an omega that's not either of us," Jaemin firmly spoke. 

Donghyuck snorted. Jaemin could read Donghyuck like a book, and his lying was especially terrible today. 

"You're ridiculous. Who else would I be talking to? Maybe you're smelling my papa..." 

Jaemin scoffed but didn't say anything back. He was too distracted by his own thoughts to really pay too much attention to his friend's shitty lies: today was the day he was putting his plan into action.

It was time to brush it all off. "Jeno!" Jaemin suddenly yelled. Their whole group jumped as the alpha teen in question turned towards them, looking confused, then shy. 

"H-Hi Jaemin," he stuttered quietly, Jeno's usual friends walking away to their lunch spot. 

"Come sit with us today," Jaemin called. Jeno's eyes widened in surprise before giving a little nod, slowly treading over to Jaemin's group. 

"Dude, what?" Jisung whispered, looking uncomfortably between Jaemin and his brother. 

"Finally giving in to his little crush?" Chenle teased with a smirk. 

Jaemin winked at Jisung and Chenle and shrugged. "Maybe." 

When Jeno was near them they all took their seats underneath their usual tree: Jisung sitting with Chenle's head in his lap, Donghyuck leaning against the tree, Renjun hunched over, off to the side. Jaemin took his usual spot beside Donghyuck and Jeno hesitantly sat next to him. 

Jaemin gave Jeno a little sly smile, surreptitiously scooting closer to him. Judging by Donghyuck's suspicious expression, he could tell that his long time best friend _knew_ Jaemin was up to no good. But he could also tell Donghyuck was distracted about something, probably this new omega he wouldn't tell Jaemin about. Something was off, but Jaemin knew he had to keep focusing on his plan for it to work. 

Renjun, too, was obviously distracted. This whole scent (or lack thereof) thing was clearly taking a toll. Jaemin's heart ached for his longtime friend's struggle. But this was all playing perfectly into his hands. 

Donghyuck and Renjun were the two people who would be suspicious of Jaemin, read his expression, notice the changes, easily tell if something was off. But they were so distracted that Jaemin could practically get away with anything he wanted right now. Jisung and Chenle were a little more oblivious, into their own thing and relationship. Plus, the two of them had the closest ties to Jeno, and now it was more obvious then ever that Jeno at least harbored a little crush on him; they would want Jeno to get what he wanted. So, they'd support him, not realizing Jaemin's secret plan. 

This whole thing couldn't have gone better. 

"Th-Thank you for inviting me to hang out," Jeno said shyly, giving Jaemin a little smile. 

"I've always wanted to," Jaemin cutely answered, turning to his side so he could lean on Jeno. "But you're just so...popular; I was always so nervous." 

Jaemin couldn't see Jeno's face but he could feel his skin heating up. This was going _perfectly_. 

"A-I dunno..." 

"Well I do know," Jaemin answered, emphasizing his words with a little giggle. 

Jaemin paused his flirtations for a moment to take a look around at his friends. Donghyuck and Renjun were dazedly staring at their laps; neither of them were even at that lunch circle, at least mentally. Jisung and Chenle were whispering and giggling conspiratorially. Perfect. 

"Don't you miss when we'd actually eat _lunch_ during lunchtime?" Chenle piped up. Jaemin, Jeno, and Jisung groaned in agreement. 

"Maybe during the test hunt we'll see if anyone can hunt well and fix the problem..." Jaemin said. 

"Sorry to say, but that won't be me," Jisung answered with a laugh. 

"He never practices," Jeno added. 

Jaemin turned back toward Jeno, resting his head on his shoulder and looking up at him. "Do you?" 

Jeno looked away shyly. "I try..." 

"He's pretty good, actually," Jisung admitted. 

"I knew it," Jaemin mumbled, giving Jeno one of those smiles he _knew_ was dazzling. Jeno couldn't stop looking back and forth between Jaemin's face and the floor. Even coming on so strong, it was working. It was all working. 

Jeno was definitely weird, though. Jaemin had always thought he was weird but talking to him closer like this he was still weird. He'd always _looked_ like an alpha, ever since they were kids. But his personality was so soft, so...almost omega that Jaemin had secretly thought Jeno would present omega. Nobody but him had been surprised when he presented as an alpha. This close he definitely smelled like alpha; he reeked of it. But that didn't stop Jeno from being gentle and shy and stuttering like a nervous little omega. It was weird. He was weird. 

Jaemin pushed his thoughts aside and continued on with his plan, casually resting his head on Jeno's shoulder, almost scenting him but not quite. 

"We're getting so old guys...like, the test hunt is coming up... and omegas our age are starting to get heats...which will inevitably lead to mating. It's crazy," Jaemin said, directing the conversation to what he wanted to discuss. 

"Don't remind me!" Chenle whined. "I wanted to be first to get a heat." 

Both he and Jisung pouted. 

"It...It would be nice to have someone promised to you already, I think," Jeno admitted. "I'm a little jealous of you Jisungie." The alpha teen punctuated his words to his brother with a little giggle that made Jaemin clench his teeth tightly. 

Nonetheless, that was _exactly_ what Jaemin had wanted Jeno to say. 

"You're not promised to anyone?" He asked, feigning surprise, looking back up at the alpha. 

Jeno gave him a brief look before shaking his head. His cheeks were almost permanently dusted pink. "N-no, I'm not. Are you?" 

"Nope." Jaemin let out a sad sounding sigh. 

Jeno took in a few deep breaths, clearly embarrassed to even let out the words he was about to speak. "Heat, yet?" 

Jaemin stared back deep into Jeno's eyes. "Not yet. But..." That was all he spoke but he let the implications of it all hang in the air, around Jeno, driving him _crazy_. 

When he knew it wasn't suspicious to do so Jaemin spared the briefest of glances at Donghyuck; the only person in the group who knew that Jaemin's implications were an absolute lie. But he was still lost in thought, lost in his mind. Jaemin couldn't have wished for anything better, and he gave Jeno a smile. 

They could've cut the tension, the tension Jaemin fabricated between them, with a knife. 

And the school bell was that knife. 

Renjun and Donghyuck leapt up but the rest lingered, Jeno most of all. Jaemin pressed himself close to the alpha. 

"Walk me home after school?" 

Jeno grinned. "Of course." 

~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck had spent all day waiting for school to be over. Now _finally_ he was allowed to leave, rushing out of the large school cabin as quickly as his legs would allow. It was finally time to see Mark. 

Typically he would walk Jaemin home after school but strangely, Jaemin had asked Jeno to instead. Coupled with the whole _thing_ at lunchtime Donghyuck was confused and a little worried. After all, Jaemin had expressed a desire to never have an alpha just a few days prior, and now he was all over Jeno. But as weird as it was, Donghyuck couldn't focus on it too much, all his thoughts directed now towards Mark. Anyways, whatever was going on, it meant Jaemin wouldn't be too overbearing and curious about Donghyuck's new thing. 

Plus, Jeno walking Jaemin home meant Donghyuck could go see Mark a bit earlier. 

Slowing down his pace as he got closer to Mark's, he breathed deeply, in and out. What would Mark think if he knew how eager Donghyuck was? Would it scare him away? 

Looking down at the ground, Donghyuck perked up when he spotted a tuft of white coming up out of the deadening grass. He crouched down to the ground, looking closely with surprise. 

It was flowers. From what Donghyuck could remember of his childhood flowers grew abundantly all over their territory but since the famine, it seemed like everything had just...died. These little white flowers were a rare sight to see indeed. 

Donghyuck took it as a sign and plucked them out of the ground, tying their stems together with a spare string. 

It was time to go see his Mark; he couldn't wait any longer. 

Finally reaching the front door to Mark's cabin he knocked once, twice, three, four, five times, leaving a short pause in between. He pressed his ear up against the door and didn't hear the sound of movement. He was about to pull away when a small voice called, "My parents are gone, Donghyuck, you can come in." 

At the sound of Mark's delicate voice Donghyuck grinned and pushed his way inside, no hesitation. This time he didn't take the time to look around, simply stoking the living room fire for Mark's comfort before heading to his room. 

Quickly Donghyuck opened the door before freezing in his spot. He had almost forgotten, just overnight, _Mark._ The hurt of seeing him so frail, so gaunt, but the pleasure of seeing _him_ , so stunning despite everything. Donghyuck only stayed still for a moment more before making his way beside Mark's bed, resting his head on the mattress, just like last time. Neither were afraid anymore. 

"H-Hi," Mark said, so gently, before erupting into nervous giggles. 

"Hi," Donghyuck softly answered back. He pulled the flowers out from their hiding spot behind his back and gave them to Mark. 

"Oh my gosh," he answered, looking back and forth between the flowers and Donghyuck's face. With shaking fingers Mark took them into his hands. His face still looked shocked but his eyes sparkled and Donghyuck knew he wanted to make Mark feel like this every day. "Wh-where did you find these? My parents told me almost everything was dead..." 

Donghyuck shrugged and grinned. "I guess not everything is dead yet." 

Mark smiled a little and looked down at his lap. "Well, thank you." 

"It's my pleasure, Mark." 

Mark looked around before putting the bouquet in a glass of water beside his bed, turning back onto his side to face Donghyuck. 

"How are you?" Mark asked, ever gently. 

Donghyuck chuckled. "I don't know. School was....school. I kinda just spent the whole day missing you though." 

Mark sort of squeaked a little bit and it made Donghyuck's heart do this strange little dancing thing in his chest, and he smiled wide. Mark smiled back, almost too shy to look at Donghyuck, curling up into himself. 

"I did too, honestly," Mark answered, very quietly, but Donghyuck heard it well enough. "Yesterday...yesterday was kind of the best day I've had in a really long time." 

"Then let's make today even better, alright?" 

Mark nodded and scooted himself closer to Donghyuck. "Yeah." He sighed suddenly and pouted a bit, making Donghyuck's insides scramble. "I wish I could go to school." 

Donghyuck scoffed and shook his head. "No, you don't." 

"I do! I have to study everything by myself. My parents bring me the textbooks you guys use but that's it. It's so boring here. I can only talk to my parents and Kun and now that they're busy..." 

The alpha's heart cracked into a million little pieces at the thought of Mark being lonely. 

"I guess it would be better than this..." Donghyuck mumbled, looking around at Mark's barren, too hot room. "School would be better, I think, if you were there too." 

"I bet the school-school parts wouldn't be great. But being with all our friends would be fun. Does everyone still hang out?" 

"Of course," Donghyuck answered, and that made Mark smile. "Chenle and Jisung are still together too." 

"Seriously?" Mark gasped. 

"Uh-huh. They aren't officially mated yet but its only a matter of time..." 

"So Chenle hasn't had a heat yet?" 

Donghyuck nodded and froze, a question on his lips that he needed to know, yet didn't want to ruin the moment with. But he couldn't hold himself back; when could he ever? "Mark...have you?" 

Mark flushed a little bit and shook his head. "I...don't know what's going to happen when that comes. Of course I'm not, like, promised to anyone...I haven't even seen anyone in years. A-are you?" 

Donghyuck shook his head and his heart leapt in his chest. Neither of them had someone, and Donghyuck's heart beat wildly at the thought that technically, they _could_ be something. Obviously Mark was thinking about it too; although his gaze was shy he still looked at Donghyuck, searched his face, probably for the same thing Donghyuck was searching Mark's face for: desire. 

Suddenly Mark cleared his throat and shook his head, trying to change the uncomfortable subject. "And how are the rest, Jaemin and Renjun?" 

"Jaemin's a wily omega-" 

"Oh so _that's_ who I'm smelling on you," Mark spoke in understanding. "I'm a little bit surprised, but not that much actually..."

"And Renjun...we still don't know." 

"Wait, what? He still hasn't presented?" Donghyuck shook his head. "Oh my gosh, tell me more, how is he dealing with that?" 

And so they spoke like that for hours and hours, catching up on the big and the little things, delighting in the way each other's voices lilted and lips curled up into bright smiles, just seeing each other.

Suddenly, both Donghyuck and Mark sat up, the voices of Doyoung and Jaehyun beginning to carry from outside the front door. They turned to the window; outside it was completely dark. 

"Shit," Donghyuck mumbled. Now they had double the chance of being caught: by Doyoung and Jaehyun seeing Donghyuck was over, or Johnny and Taeil getting too worried about Donghyuck and going to search for him. It just seemed like a better idea to keep things a secret, even if they clearly were going to be seeing each other every day, from now on. 

"Through the window? I think you could fit..." Mark whispered. The voices were closer now but luckily, Doyoung and Jaehyun weren't inside the cabin just yet. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'll lock it on my way out." 

Donghyuck stood fully but he lingered beside Mark's bed, loathe to depart from the boy beside him. Somehow, this hurt even more than the day before. 

Mark held the flowers to his chest for a moment, that pained, pained look in his eyes at the thought of Donghyuck leaving his side. Donghyuck almost cracked but he knew if he stayed another moment he couldn't do it, and then only bad things would befall them. 

"Goodbye Mark," he mumbled softly, reaching for the window and hoisting himself up. 

"Tomorrow?" Mark asked desperately. 

Donghyuck managed to turn back to Mark, giving him one last look. "Tomorrow." 

~~~~~~~~~~

Mark thanked god that the window was locked and he'd calmed himself down when his parents finally walked into the house, hoping that neither of them could smell that Donghyuck had been here. 

"Hi sweetie!" Doyoung called, both him and Jaehyun walked into his room and rubbing his shoulder. They both reeked of the hunt, animals and pheromones and the outdoors, and Mark knew neither of them could catch Donghyuck's scent amongst all of that. They both had a cold, breathless air about them but they smiled, at each other, Jaehyun's arm casually slipping around Doyoung's waist. Mark hadn't seen both of his parents so happy in quite a while, especially Jaehyun. His heart hurt desperately at the thought that hunting together gave them joy, as a beta and an alpha, and with him like this, they couldn't partake in that. If only he wasn't so damn _sick_ then-

Mark had to stop himself; whenever he went down this path then he'd fall into a depression that would take him weeks to emerge from. 

"Hi dad," he said, forcing on a smile, for both of them. _Remember Donghyuck remember Donghyuck remember Donghyuck_ , he repeated over and over in his head until the smile was real. 

"How was your day?" Doyoung asked. 

"Where did you get these?" Jaehyun interrupted before Mark could answer, holding up the water glass with the bouquet Donghyuck had brought dropped inside. 

"Oh...Kun stopped by and brought them for me!" Mark lied. 

Luckily it was a good lie and both of them smiled. 

"How sweet!" Doyoung said. "I'll go get a real vase for you to put these in." 

"Wonder where he found them..." Jaehyun mumbled as Doyoung left and quickly returned, setting the flowers next to Mark's bed. His heart melted just _looking_ at them. 

"Speaking of visitors...has Donghyuck been stopping by? I know I forgot to ask yesterday..." 

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ _What would be the best lie here?_

"Yeah...but I haven't been letting him in," he spoke, looking away. He didn't like having to lie to his parents like this but something in his gut told him this was the way to go. 

"Oh Mark...he just wants to see you, you know?" Jaehyun answered, his voice full of concern. 

"We know how you feel about people seeing you in this state. But it would be so good for you to make friends, especially now that you're older," Doyoung added. 

Jaehyun made a face and Doyoung turned to him, giving him a look. "Well...you _are_ getting older. And while I do think it's important that you make some friends...I don't think anything more than that is a good idea." 

"True, very true," Doyoung added. "If you ever do decide you're ready to hang out with people your own age again, let us know, alright? Dating and promising would not be a good thing, with your condition and all..." 

"Just don't do it, al-" 

"Guys!" Mark whined. "I don't hang out with anyone my age anyways! You don't have to worry." 

Both Jaehyun and Doyoung breathed sighs of relief. "Okay. We do want you to have friends though!" Jaehyun said hopefully. 

Mark sighed and rolled his eyes. "I know, I know." 

He did know, now, he knew the reason his parents couldn't know about Donghyuck's visits.


	6. five.

It was finally the weekend, and Chenle was overjoyed at the lack of school. 

Renjun was not. 

Chenle's usually infectious, happy energy could not reach his soul today. A cloud stood over him that even the normally oblivious Jisung and Chenle noticed. 

It was time to go to the doctor. 

Renjun had begged and pleaded before bed every single night to present before his appointment with Kun that his parents set up. Still, it was to no avail. 

He honestly didn't want to go in the first place. As long as Renjun didn't show he could pretend that he was just a late bloomer, that he'd catch up eventually, that soon enough he'd walk into school and people would be able to breath in his scent. 

Renjun's parents and Chenle swore he did have a scent, they just couldn't really identify what it was. Renjun was starting to believe they were lying. 

But now that he was going to the doctor, Renjun couldn't avoid it anymore. He couldn't pin himself as a late bloomer; he would have to come to terms with the fact that something is wrong. 

He had procrastinated on going to this appointment as long as he could, as long as he could convince his parents to. But he couldn't anymore; Yuta and Sicheng were making him go now, today. 

Normally Chenle and Jisung would be very happy to have some alone time in the house but even they were both concerned, even asking Renjun if he wanted them to come with him. 

"No thanks," Renjun had quietly, softly answered. Yuta and Sicheng had insisted on coming with, if only out of deep concern for their child (and maybe to make sure he actually went), but Renjun knew he needed to deal with whatever this was alone, as alone as possible. 

So he said goodbye to his sibling and followed his parents out of the cabin, Yuta standing protectively over him while Sicheng rubbed his back. 

"Whatever's going on, we can get through it, as a family, I promise." 

"Yup." Renjun knew they only loved him and wanted to take care of him, but it was so hard not to be curt in a situation like this. 

They finally reached the purple door to Kun's healing hut and Yuta firmly knocked twice. There was no answer for a moment, only loud noises coming from inside the room when Kun threw open the window. 

The haggard looking omega healer managed a smile, despite the chaos going on behind him. Renjun hadn't been too many times, only checkups as he was a pup, but he'd never seen this many people inside. The famine had hurt more things than Renjun could possibly fathom. 

"Hi Yuta, hi Sicheng. Renjun! You've gotten so big. I remember when you were first born. I don't think I've ever seen an alpha or omega more in love with their pups. And you and Chenle were just the cutest!" He cleared his throat. "Anyways, you're here for your appointment? Come on in." 

The three entered the hut and Renjun's fingers began to tremble, spotting a door to the backroom that had been added recently. The door was open and Renjun could see that the one bed inside was empty; clearly set aside just for him. A shiver went down his spine. 

"So the issue is that you haven't presented yet, correct?" Kun asked. 

"Yes," Yuta said and Renjun winced a little at how loud he was. Kun clearly noticed his expression and looked up at Yuta and Sicheng. 

"How about you two wait outside, alright?" 

"Why?" Yuta almost growled before Sicheng patted his arm. 

"You don't need to alpha right now," Sicheng mumbled before he physically calmed down. 

"A-alright," Yuta finally answered before exhaling. "I'm sorry, I-" 

"It's alright," Kun answered, and Sicheng led Yuta out of the cabin as Kun led Renjun into the backroom. 

"You can sit on the bed," the healer spoke and Renjun hesitantly sat down on its edge. Kun sighed. "You know, Yuta's always been...the protective type." 

"I know, I know. He loves and cares about me and Chenle and my other dad so much. He can just be so...alpha." 

"So you don't think you're an alpha?" Kun asked. 

Renjun's face fell. "I don't think I'm anything." 

Kun sighed and shook his head. "You're not nothing. You're a boy, you're a friend, you're a son and a brother, you're kind and you're smart. Those are all things, right?" 

"How would you know whether I'm smart or not?" 

"When Yuta made this appointment he went on and on about how well you do in school. Alright...how old are you again?" 

"Seventeen, turning eighteen in a month or so." 

Kun nodded slowly. "And you haven't shown any signs of status outside of a scent? Like a heat, or a knot?" Renjun slowly shook his head. "And you're totally healthy otherwise?" 

"Yeah, totally healthy." 

Renjun shook his head and Kun stood up, stepping closer to Renjun and inhaling his scent. Kun made a strange expression that Renjun could not explain, fear striking down his spine. It was a while before the healer spoke again. 

"Alright, I'm going to need you to take off your clothes and lay down on the bed." 

Renjun knew this was coming but he still swallowed thickly, shakily following the doctor's orders. After the face Kun made just a second ago, he was even more nervous than before. 

"Renjun, I want you to know that I'm ninety percent sure there's nothing wrong with you." 

Renjun placed his folded clothes and laid down on the bed for examination. "Then..." 

"I just want to make absolutely sure before I tell you what's going on." Kun spent a few minutes doing...something (Renjun didn't want to look; he was too embarrassed so he closed his eyes) before sitting up. 

"You can get dressed again; my guess was correct." 

"So nothing's wrong with me?" 

Kun shook his head and smiled as Renjun finished getting dressed again. As soon as the teen was fully clothed, Kun stood in front of him and put his hand on his shoulder, a relieved smile on his face. "You're a beta." 

Renjun's jaw dropped and he felt like his world came crashing down. 

"Wh-what?" 

"You're a beta!" Kun repeated, his smile growing wider. But that didn't make Renjun feel any better, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. 

Renjun had heard the way the kids at school talked about betas. He had heard the way the teachers explained them to the kids, when they were first taught about status. He had heard the way some of the adults talked about Doyoung; how he was only respected because of his hunting prowess. Doyoung was the only other beta in the pack, the only one Renjun had even met. 

Doyoung had to work ten times harder than the rest of the pack to get any respect. All he had to show for a family was one dying pup. 

It was over; Renjun's life was over. 

"Renjun, Renjun," Kun called, trying to talk over the cacophany of voices blaring in his mind. "Would you like to stay here for a while? Or should I get your parents?" 

"I wanna go home," Renjun sobbed, not caring if he sounded like a baby having a tantrum. 

"I'll go grab your parents," Kun mumbled. Renjun barely even registered him leaving and then returning with his parents in tow. 

Yuta gasped when he saw Renjun's tears and rushed over to hold his child tightly, Sicheng gasping and getting teary as well. "What the hell is going on," Yuta growled at the healer. 

"Guys, guys! Nothing is wrong with Renjun. He is one hundred percent healthy and alright. I...I would've thought you'd known what was going on, seeing as how you're both close with Doyoung..." 

Renjun fell silent as the wave of understanding hit his parents. 

"He's a beta?" Yuta asked, so quietly, and Renjun's heart cracked into a million pieces. Was that disappointment in his voice? 

"Yes, Renjun's a beta," Kun answered. 

"Oh thank god," Yuta breathed out, holding his son tightly. "Thank god you're okay." Renjun felt a tear fall onto his shoulder, a tear of relief.

Renjun was momentarily relieved that his alpha father wasn't disappointed, but what was Sicheng going to say? That brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes. 

"Renjun, Renjun," Yuta cooed. "You're okay! You're healthy! Why are you crying? This is the best news we've had in years!" 

"It's not," Renjun sobbed. "It's so not. My life is over!" 

"Renjunnie, that is absolutely not true," Sicheng finally spoke, coming closer to rub his son's hand. 

"Look at Doyoung; he's made a wonderful life for himself." 

"In fact, your life is expanded! You can mate with anyone, you can do anything, you can be whoever and whatever you want to be," Sicheng added. 

Renjun wrested himself out of his parent's grips; they were idiots if they couldn't see that all of a beta's supposed 'options' were really not there. 

"Leave me alone," he mumbled, running out of the healing hut and back to his cabin. He heard the vague voices of his parents calling back after him but Renjun ignored them, slamming open the front door, then the door to his and Chenle's room. 

For once Chenle and Jisung weren't making out and they both looked beyond worried seeing Renjun so upset, Chenle immediately standing and rushing over to his twin. 

"Is everything okay-" 

"Get out, now." 

"Renjun-" 

"Now." 

With one last worried look Chenle grabbed Jisung's hand and the two sped out, throwing Renjun worried glances. Renjun slammed and locked the door. He needed to be alone. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After the past few days it was so weird for Mark to act like nothing had changed, because truthfully, everything had. 

But with his father Jaehyun home, he couldn't express any of his new feelings, of his new person. So he had to pretend that everything was exactly the same. 

With Jaehyun home, it kind of was. Apparently, Taeyong as well as his parents had gotten worried leaving Mark home alone all day, not to mention none of them wanted to be lonely. Taeyong needed as many hands for the hunt as he could get though, so they had made an agreement that Jaehyun would stay home in the mornings and take care of Mark, then at noon come and join the hunt. Mark was a little bit grateful for the company, but mostly grateful that Donghyuck knew not to come until the late afternoon, even on weekends. 

So really he was just waiting. Waiting for Jaehyun to leave and for Donghyuck to come, take care of him in his different way, in the way he was beginning to rely on. 

It was weird, though, that Jaehyun was the one staying home to take care of him. It had started being that way since the famine; before when Mark was sick it was Doyoung who always stayed home and made sure he was okay. Jaehyun was the alpha after all and even though Doyoung was a beta and not an omega, Mark always thought it would have been his job. 

He didn't know how his father would react, though, if he asked him point blank why this was happening. But Mark was beyond curious, had been for years. And he was a new person now, a person who had feelings and talked to people his own age instead of just being this sick shell. So now he was going to find out; seeing how things were going with the famine his parents might always be busy and he may not have the chance again. 

"How's being home?" Mark finally spoke up. 

"Good, good," Jaehyun answered, looking over his son as he brought him a glass of water. J"aehyun held out the glass and Mark took it, downing the whole cup, as he was required by Kun. As he drank, he thought about how his father's voice only sounded partially false. "I've missed you a lot." Mark set down his glass and Jaehyun brushed his hair out of his eyes. 

"Me too," Mark answered. "It was a little bit lonely, sometimes." 

Jaehyun sighed. "Of course, someone has to be here to take care of you sometimes; it's terrifying to leave you all alone, with your condition. Me and Doyoung and Taeyong were all so nervous. It would be so great if we could send you to Kun's sometimes, just so we could help a little bit more with the whole famine but it's so full, ugh, so many people are sick Mark, not like you but still sick...what if you caught something? And poor Kun is so overwhelmed as it is..." Mark let his father ramble as he cleaned up around him, adjusting his sheets. "And...someone has to be home. We can't spare the omegas, we can't spare Kun, it's got to be one of us..." Jaehyun sighed. "Doyoung's an amazing hunter. Do you know that, Mark? Your other daddy is just...one of the best in the pack, really. Maybe the best hunter. Probably the best, to be honest. So... with what's going on..." Jaehyun swallowed and when he finally finished. "It has to be me." 

Oh. So his beta father was the better hunter, better than his alpha dad... 

"It's what's best though, for the pack. Me and Doyoung and Taeyong discussed it and it's what's best. You know..." Jaehyun let out a pathetic little chuckle and Mark winced but his father didn't notice, too distracted. "Doyoung's the hunter, but I'm the fighter. If this was war, I'd be out there fighting out there with the best of them." 

Mark could feel that Jaehyun was barely even talking to him any more, more having a discussion with himself, like he was trying to soothe his own poor, bruised ego. 

But Jaehyun suddenly shook his head and cleared his throat and looked so upset, so guilty, almost heartbreakingly so. 

"I don't care though. At the end of the day, I don't care about that stupid stuff like status and roles. I mated a beta, right?" Jaehyun said, again more to himself than to Mark. "All I want in this world is for you to be safe and healthy. I'd do absolutely anything for that. And if that means me being in the cabin with you then I am happy to. In fact, it's a pleasure being here with you, Mark. Do you know how many alphas get to spend so much time with their pups, especially these days? Not many. In certain ways I'm just plain lucky that I can be here with you." 

Jaehyun gave his son a smile and Mark smiled back, searching his father's face. He wasn't totally lying at least. Jaehyun loves him so much, well, both of his parents love him so much. They were close too, despite everything. Everything he and Doyoung did was to try and keep Mark happy and safe, to protect him. A bad alpha father would have never even allowed this situation to happen, would have insisted on going out there even if Doyoung, despite his status, was so obviously the better hunter.

But Mark could see it. Mark could see behind the love he displayed, behind the happy sacrifice, there was humiliation. Humiliation that he wasn't out with rest, trying to keep his pack and his son safe, in the way a typical alpha should. Humiliation that it was his beta mate out there doing those tasks instead, rather than keeping the home and tending to his pup. And Mark knew Jaehyun didn't like this humiliation, that he wasn't proud to feel this way, that he was in fact guilty for these feelings. But it didn't stop Jaehyun from having them, and it didn't stop Mark from being able to read those feelings like a book. 

Mark could sort of understand his father's feelings. But he didn't like them. 

And resentment bubbled up like a seed in his chest. 

Mark could feel the sun filtering in through the window. The only time their territory got any sort of sun was noon; it was time for Jaehyun to go. 

"Alright, Mark, I have to go help with the hunt. Wish me luck." 

"Good luck dad," Mark said, and he meant it. Food was food after all and if Jaehyun caught some, that would be good for everybody. 

Jaehyun rubbed his son's shoulder and Mark looked into his dad's eyes. He could see the deep seated worry at leaving his sickly son all by himself, the sadness at not being able to spend more hours with him, not knowing which would be his last. 

But Mark could also see the yearning for the woods, the hunts, the chase, the adrenaline, the outdoors. The desire to be out there with the rest of them, to prove his worth, to show his alpha. 

It made Mark uncomfortable. 

"Goodbye. Stay safe, please. You know what to do if you need help." 

"Of course. Have fun." 

"Will do," Jaehyun answered, leaving Mark's room with a smile on his lips. 

The omega teen breathed out once his dad finally left the house, looking around. He grabbed his textbook to study for a few hours before Donghyuck came, but he knew his mind wouldn't be able to concentrate. 

Were all alphas this way? Was it just a part of their nature or how they were raised; something they couldn't control? Was Donghyuck the same too, just like all the rest of them? 

No, he couldn't be. If he cared about his strength, why would he not promise himself to an omega, a popular and powerful one? Why spend almost all of his time between two omegas, neither of which could or would give him anything? Why would he want to keep everything with Mark a secret? 

Donghyuck was different. He was so, so different. 

Goodness, Mark had gotten lucky. 


	7. six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for bullying and a very, very vague mention of noncon. hope you enjoy the chapter and don't forget to leave a comment! they make me so happy. again, trigger warning above. 

Lunchtime (more like rest time, no lunch was really involved) that day was completely and utterly normal. Well, the new normal. 

It was a Monday and Renjun hadn't shown up to school yet. Chenle refused to explain what was going on with him, saying it wasn't his place to share, so a cloud of nervousness circled around their group of friends. But Renjun had been so silent lately anyways that sometimes it was easy to forget his absence. 

Sometimes, too, it was easy to forget Donghyuck was there as well, with whatever was going on with him (which his friends had even less idea what it was than Renjun's predicament). He was silent, unusually so, and nobody knew how to go about asking him what was going on. So, they all left him be. 

But Jeno was there too, almost in their place. Jisung and Chenle enjoyed having him around, as they'd been close since they spent so much time together at home. And Jeno seemed to enjoy being with them too. They still had to ask him to come to lunch every day; he still didn't consider it a given. But every time Jaemin asked, his face lit up into the most beaming, beautiful smile. 

Jaemin kinda got a kick out of the whole thing too. 

Flirting with Jeno was fun. Jeno still got really shy but he had gained enough confidence to have a back and forth with Jaemin. He was handsome, too, and he liked the approving smiles adults gave him when they saw the two together. He was always kind, of course. 

But did that mean Jaemin was going to give up this plan he'd created? _No way._ In fact, it was working out exactly as he'd wanted it to. He had no reason to stop what he was doing. 

So, he had to keep it going. 

"Jeno," Jaemin said cutely as Jeno sat down beside him. The teenage alpha gave Jaemin a sweet smile and Jaemin turned aside, pretending to get shy. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jeno's smile grow. "You look so handsome today." 

Now, it was Jeno's turn to get shy, but it was utterly sincere. "Jaemin," he whined adorably. 

"Can you two stop? I'm trying to not be hungry," Jisung teased. 

"Well, now you know how it feels to live in a house with you and Chenle. And to have lived in that house since birth," Jeno answered. 

"I don't live with you guys," Chenle rebutted. 

Jeno rolled his eyes. "Barely." 

Jaemin chuckled under his breath and scooted closer to Jeno, resting his head on his shoulder and holding onto his muscular arm. Jeno released a gentle sigh at Jaemin's affection but the teen omega didn't spare him a glance, no, he looked off to the side for his friend. 

Donghyuck was in his own world, as he'd been the past week or so. There was warning and worry in Jaemin's heart. If Donghyuck wasn't so distracted, he'd either be getting help or a reprimanding from Donghyuck. 

Jaemin knew that if Donghyuck knew about Jaemin's plan, he'd put a stop to it. 

But Donghyuck didn't realize; Donghyuck was distracted now. Shouldn't Jaemin use it to his advantage? 

Jaemin hummed, sure of himself, and nuzzled himself deeper into Jeno's shoulder. 

But very quickly, Jaemin sat up from Jeno. In fact everyone sat up, even Donghyuck, as Renjun walked onto the school grounds and set down his things, sitting in his usual corner. 

As he'd gotten older and hadn't presented, he began to bring a cloud of worry and sorrow with him wherever he went. Now, he still carried that cloud, but the worry was replaced with clear, obvious anger. He didn't look any of them in the eye either, staring at the ground wordlessly. 

"R-Renjun..." Jaemin started. 

He sighed. "Did Chenle tell you guys?" He spoke, his voice low and rough. They all shook their heads. 

Renjun sighed, once again. "I...um...turns out...I'm a beta." 

Everyone sucked in a breath; they didn't know _what_ to say. It was a relief he didn't have something seriously wrong with him. He still had _a_ status, he was healthy, nothing was going to go wrong in the forceable future. They all knew, too, that there were benefits to being a beta. 

But they all knew it came with its hardships too. The never ending judgement, that lack of going through many of the normal processes that other pups went through, the difficulty in finding a mate and having pups, the absence of any direction given to you by life. None of them knew how to express all of that in just a few words. 

"I'm so-" 

"I know, I know Jeno. Don't be sorry. It's nobody's fault. And I shouldn't be such a brat about this. I am fine, technically. I'm just...I just don't even know." 

"I can imagine. It's like...the whole future is a mystery," Jaemin said sympathetically. 

"Exactly," Renjun breathed out. 

"But Renjun, we'll do everything in our power to make sure the rest of your life is amazing, no matter what status you are, or who you mate, or what you chose to do once school is over," Donghyuck spoke up. 

"Agreed," Jisung mumbled. 

"And it is really terrible and scary; I know how people talk about betas... but you've got a lot to look forward to as well and we'll make sure that's as good as it can be," Chenle added, rubbing his brother's shoulder. 

Renjun rolled his eyes. "Sure." 

"I dunno," Jisung added. "There's lots of cool stuff! Like anyone can be your mate, you can go work anywhere..." 

"You can even change in between if you get bored of something! You're not stuck! And you do so well in school, you really could do anything..." Chenle said. 

"But I'm terrible at alpha and omega tasks," Renjun answered. 

"But-" 

"Please, guys," Renjun interrupted Chenle, staring at him and Jisung. "Don't act like those are benefits. Everything is a fucking mystery and I have way less options than everyone thinks. You guys are some to talk; you're _beyond_ lucky. You two came out with everything fucking handed to you: everyone thought Chenle was going to be an omega and Jisung was going to be an alpha, and that's exactly what happened. Everyone thought you two were gonna mate as soon as you could, you two have wanted to mate ever since you knew what it was, and it's still going to happen. You're so lucky. You guys know everything about yourselves and you always have." 

Chenle and Jisung shared a look before staring pityingly back at Renjun. 

"We're sorry...we just wanted to make you feel better," Jisung spoke. 

"Well, don't bother. I don't think I'm gonna feel better for a while." 

"You're right that we came out knowing everything. Remember kindergarten?" Chenle spoke, trying to lift the mood. 

Jisung snorted. "We were so dumb." 

"Do you still have a mark there?" Jeno asked. 

Chenle giggled and tugged down his shirt, showing the friends a scar fairly close to where a typical mating mark would be. 

"Wait, what? I don't remember this story..." Jaemin said. 

"Okay." Chenle and Jisung shared a laugh before Chenle explained. "So when we were all in kindergarten I noticed my dad's mating mark for the first time, right? So I asked what it was and he explained to be the basics, like 'when an alpha and an omega love each other very much and decide they want to be together forever the alpha gives the omega a little bite on the crook of their neck. The mark of the bite stays there forever.' But, like, that was it...so I immediately asked Jisung to give me a bite there, because we were in like a little kiddie relationship. But of course the mark didn't ever stay very long because it wasn't a real mating mark, right? Mating marks only work during heat. But I just kept asking him to bite me there over and over and I, no, we both got so mad that it didn't work. Eventually one day though it was bleeding right after Jisung bit me during lunch and a teacher saw. I explained everything to the teacher and then we had to have...a talk with our parents. But actually Jisung bit me there so many times that I still kind of have a scar in that place." 

"God, guys, how are you two so cute? That's such a Chenle and Jisung kind of story," Jaemin spoke up. 

"I want a love like that," Jeno mumbled under his breath. 

"I don't think it's too hard to find," Jaemin quietly answered, figuring out how to use this to his advantage. 

"Really?" 

Jaemin nodded up at Jeno. "It's close to you, I think. You're so close." 

Slowly, Jeno beamed down at Jaemin. Jaemin gave him a quick smile back. 

"Well, I don't know if I even can have a love like that now..." Renjun spoke up. 

"I mean, Doyoung's mated," Jisung answered. 

"And we all know how that happened," Renjun rebutted. Everyone fell silent at that before Renjun sat up. "Alright, alright, enough about me. I'm so fucking sick of thinking about my stupid self. Now that my issues have been solved, we aught to turn our attention to Donghyuck. Dude, what the _fuck_ is up with you?" 

Donghyuck sat up in a panic, looking back at all of their staring faces with wide eyes. "W-what do you mean?" 

Jisung gave him a look. "Don't play dumb. You've been weird for the past week or so!" 

"You're _quiet._ Donghyuck being quiet is very unusual," Chenle added. 

"He's not usually like this?" Jeno whispered to Jaemin. Jaemin shook his head and Jeno nodded. 

"Anyways." Chenle came in a little closer then sniffed. "You smell like an omega. But an omega that's not Jaemin or me." 

"That's what I said!" Jaemin whined. Jisung and Renjun came closer and sniffed too. 

"Chenle's right," Renjun added. 

"Guys! It's literally just my papa." 

"But why would you suddenly smell so much more like your papa than usual? You've been at home almost the same amount of time..." Jaemin said. It was best Donghyuck stayed distracted but curiosity was getting the better of him. After all, Donghyuck was still his best friend.

"I've just been spending a lot more time with him lately," Donghyuck defended. 

Chenle smirked and shook his head. "No way. I think you're courting an omega and don't wanna tell us." 

"N-no? Why would I do that? Why wouldn't I tell you guys?" 

"Then why would you smell like an omega _and_ be so distracted if you weren't a lovestruck idiot?" Jisung teased. 

"Maybe I'm just worried about the test hunt, alright?" 

Jaemin scoffed. "Bullshit. You have literally never given a shit about the test hunt. And if you were worried, you'd go practice, and then you would absolutely not be around an omega." 

Donghyuck just rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

"Seriously. The omega scent is really strong. It's like this omega's been trying to scent you or something..." Chenle trailed off.

"Really?" Donghyuck suddenly spoke, shooting up excitedly before remembering himself and relaxing. "Pfft, why would my dad try to scent me?" 

"I don't understand why you won't tell us," Jaemin mumbled. 

"I think there are some things you're not sharing either," Donghyuck answered so only Jaemin would hear, letting his eyes briefly dart to Jeno. Immediately, Jaemin leaned back and crossed his arms.

"I-I'm sorry if you don't wanna tell in front of me," Jeno spoke up, looking down at the ground. "I promise you can trust me! Or you don't have to; I can leave and you can talk about it..." The teen alpha looked so sad it almost hurt all of their feelings too. 

"Oh Jeno, you don't have to do that. I trust you, of course. There's just nothing to tell," Donghyuck answered. "And that's that. So you can stop asking." He scooted a little bit away from the group, playing with the grass beneath him. Jisung, Chenle, and Renjun shared a look. Jaemin exhaled at the floor. Jeno gave Jaemin a worried look, but Jaemin waved it off. 

As they all sat in silence, the omega looked worriedly at the ground beneath them; this was going so poorly. What if Jeno thought their group was fighting or boring and stopped wanting to hang out with them? Then everything would be ruined and all his time trying to get Jeno to like him would have been wasted. 

But they didn't have to sit in silence any longer. Suddenly a large group of teenage alphas, _those_ alphas, came walking over to their group. Despite his distraction Donghyuck sat up, glaring them right in their eyes. Chenle shrunk into Jisung, and Jaemin shrunk into himself. 

"Hey guys, my big sister is sick. Could you all wish her condolences? She's at Kun's healing hut right now," their leader spoke. The rest all looked around in confusion but Renjun immediately tensed, shaking a little. He had a theory about what this could all be about. 

"I-I'm sorry..." Chenle mumbled. 

"Well, since she's been at the healing hut she heard some _really_ interesting news. Turns out we don't just have one beta bitch in our pack, we have two!" His friends behind him started chuckling as the leader of the little group gave Renjun a sickly sweet smile. Renjun winced, looking at the ground. He knew what was coming but he didn't want it to happen, no, he wasn't sure if he could _take_ it. 

"Joining Jaemin in being part of the group of pack fuck ups, aren't you?" Another added. 

"Oh look at Jaemin, now you've got _two_ alphas cocks to suck! Took Jeno in too. I bet your Head Alpha daddy loves knowing that's all you're good for. Trying to impress him by being able to take two alpha cocks at once?" One of the bullies continued.

"I can't imagine the disappointment," Another piped up. "Imagine being Head Alpha and your only pup is a stupid omega slut." 

"Speaking of sluts, how about our Renjunnie?" The leader of the bully alphas cooed. "Betas are _so_ useful in pack life. One, since they don't get pregnant easily they get the honor of being the pack alpha fucktoy! Two..." he chuckled cruelly. "Oh wait. That's it." 

Jaemin, Renjun, and Chenle were both fully shaking at this point, Jisung basically wrapping his entire body around Chenle. Jisung was never an issue in these kind of scenarios; all he cared about was protecting Chenle. Donghyuck and Jeno's entire bodies were tensed, easily sent into attack mode. But Jaemin was used to this, used to these words, used to Donghyuck's reaction to all of this. So he touched Donghyuck's arm, the signal to calm down. And Donghyuck did. Jaemin knew that if Donghyuck ever released, he wouldn't say anything, he would just _move_. And last time that happened, things ended in a bloody mess and a school suspension for his poor best friend. 

"Guys," Jeno suddenly spoke up, his voice full of venom, and a strike of fear went down Jaemin's spine. It was scary when alphas got like this, even if they were gentle, even if they were friends. And Jaemin didn't know how Jeno reacted to these kinds of things, or if he could stop him if things got serious. 

The alphas all chuckled under their breaths. "What?" Their leader answered, mocking in his tone. 

"Don't you think it's a little...sad that you guys feel the need to pick on omegas and betas?" Jeno asked, mocking behind his tone too, but a seriousness there as well. "Why don't you pick on someone of your own status? It's kind of pathetic..." 

This sent a murmur through the group of alphas and their leader quickly looked away from them. "U-um..." 

Jeno grimaced at him and nodded. "Yeah." 

"Well...you guys are...dumb!" He finally managed to answer. Jeno just stared back at him, anger and strength in his eyes.

That gaze put them in their place. "C-come on, let's go," he said to his group and quickly, they dashed away. 

The entire group turned to Jeno in shock, but he just looked stricken with worry. 

"Oh my god, are you guys okay?" 

"I'm fine, they do that to me all the time. But Renjun..." Jaemin said, turning to his friend. He only slightly noticed Jeno slide a protective arm around his waist. 

"I-I'm fine too. I was expecting this kind of thing to happen," he answered, his eyes shining with tears for a brief moment before he looked back up. "But Jeno...oh my god, thank you. You really saved us there." 

"Yeah," Chenle answered. 

"I-I never know what to do, I always just get so...violent," Donghyuck added. 

"I know. It was hard not to," Jeno answered. 

"Really, thank you. We never know quite what to say," Jisung said

"This happens often?" Jeno asked, and everyone nodded. He visibly deflated. "That's...so horrible..." 

But everyone thanked him once again and although he couldn't smile, still looking nervously between Jaemin and Renjun, he still nodded at them appreciatvely. 

But now that the moment had passed...Jaemin couldn't do much more than stare at him, his jaw agape. 

Jeno had defended him from that giant group of alphas, not even a second thought on his mind. Only Donghyuck would ever have done that for him. 

But Jeno was _different_. Donghyuck always wanted to hurt them and while Jaemin knew that it was the usual response, the alpha response, it always kind of made him scared. But Jeno...Jeno had defended them with words. Jeno had done so peacefully, maybe because he didn't want a fight but maybe...maybe because he knew how omegas felt about that. It was the kind of gesture he'd never experienced toward himself. 

Really, now, he couldn't even help it if looking at Jeno or thinking about him now made his heart beat a little faster in his chest. 


	8. seven.

Every single day Jaemin's wildest dreams were coming more and more true. 

He had Jeno in the palm of his hand, easily. It had taken practically nothing to get the shy alpha just absolutely crazy over him. And most of the time, Jaemin had the distance he wanted: able to flirt and have fun without getting attached, sticking to his plan exactly. 

_Most of the time._ As long as he didn't think about that day, when Jeno stood up for him so strongly without a thought to his own safety, so caringly, so considerately, Jaemin was good. Then he could keep his cool. 

It had become tradition now for Jeno to walk Jaemin home from school; with Donghyuck's weirdness it hadn't been a difficult tradition to create. But the more time they spent together the more they began to linger, to take the long route home from school, to pause and talk outside of Jaemin's house before he went inside. It was all just excuses to spend more time with one another, and it was _exactly_ what Jaemin wanted. 

Now the two of them had a spot where they would sit and talk. It wasn't the same dark and hidden place he used to have with Donghyuck; that was sacred. So it was a new spot, glowing with sunlight, still a bit tucked away but not quite as hidden as before. Jaemin didn't feel the need to hide so much any more; as his power grew his shame began to dissipate. 

The two of them sat on that rock together, no real touching but clothed thighs pressed up against clothed thighs, deep in conversation. 

"What's it like living with such a big family?" Jaemin asked, feigning interest. 

Jeno chuckled. "It's...crazy. There's never a boring moment; something's always going on." 

"How many siblings do you have again?" 

"Six." 

" _Six?_ " 

"Yup, I know. I swear my omega dad Jungwoo runs around more than my alpha dad Yukhei just because he's always going back and forth in the house. I try and help a little whenever possible, but it's a lot of work." 

"What are their names?" 

"So...I'm the oldest. Jisung's next but he's only a few months younger so we're kinda the same age. Then there's my sister Heejin; she just started upper school. Then there's Yangyang who's about to finish middle school, then Hyejoo and Yerim. They're twins and they're still in lower school. Things used to be much crazier before everyone started school, but back then....Yukhei had time to help us." 

Jeno and Jaemin shared a sigh; everyone knew that no adult alphas had time for their families since the famine started. Many families were already used to absentee alphas but with as many kids as Jeno's family had, it was detrimental. 

"Anyways," Jeno continued, clearing his throat. "I love them so much, so all of the chaos is kinda worth it." 

"It must be hard to be the oldest sibling." 

Jeno hummed. "You know...sometimes I don't feel like one of the siblings at all; instead I feel like parent number three." 

"Wow..." 

"But I don't mind it at all. My parents never put that role on me, instead I just kinda fell into it, because I like it. I like pups and I like taking care of people. I'm not the best hunter sometimes but I'm good at that, you know?" 

"Have people ever given you shit for it?" 

"That's why I don't usually tell people. But I've wondered a lot, like, why would I be an alpha if I have these care-taking urges? But, I realized over the years, I think any true alpha wants to take care of people too, you know? Only a bad alpha wouldn't want to take care of their omega and pups." 

"I agree," Jaemin mumbled, trying not to feel weird at Jeno's utter sweetness. 

"It must be weird for you though, being the only pup. Doesn't it get lonely?" 

Jaemin shook his head. "Never. I'm really close with my dad. We have so much fun together." 

"Head Alpha Taeyong?" 

Jaemin scoffed. "No way. I mean my omega dad, Ten." 

"Ooh." Jeno paused. "It's because of the famine too, right? I mean, if my dad is busy then I can't imagine what being Head Alpha is like..." 

"I don't think he'd wanna be close even if he could," Jaemin mumbled. 

"What? Why?" Jeno asked with real concern. 

Jaemin looked off into the distance and sighed. Did he want to talk about this with Jeno? 

_Stop. Jaemin, you can't get this vulnerable._

"Um...I don't know. It's whatever," he eventually answered

"It's not whate-" 

"I just think it's really cool about you and your family," Jaemin spoke over the alpha, trying to change the subject. He shouldn't waste this opportunity to flirt, give a compliment, plant the seed of mates for life in Jeno's mind. No time for his own bullshit issues. "I don't know any other alphas who would willingly do that kind of thing. It's amazing, Jeno. You're amazing." 

Jaemin could still see the concern in Jeno's eyes but he was smiling at the compliment, looking away shyly. 

"I dunno...it's just my life." 

"No, Jeno, it's exceptional." Jaemin scooted in a little bit closer, doing his signature move of resting his head on Jeno's shoulder. Somehow it still got the alpha shy, got him going. "You know...it says a lot to me. As an omega." Jaemin punctuated his words by looking up at Jeno. 

Those few words Jaemin just spoke said so much. Really, they implied a lifetime. And by the way Jeno shivered, by the way Jeno smiled, he knew what Jaemin was talking about. And it was what he clearly wanted. 

As Jeno looked at him, a little bit of a blush on his cheeks, Jaemin pondered the one issue he hadn't quite reached a decision on: when? 

When was he going to break this alpha's heart and snatch up the feeling of power he'd spent his whole life desiring? What would be the best time to get everything he'd always wanted? 

Soon? No, not too soon. Technically they weren't really _together_ ; they didn't know each other well enough yet, and not enough people knew they were starting to be a thing. It wouldn't hurt him quite enough. 

But they couldn't wait too long. If Jaemin shared a heat with Jeno, it would be all over. He knew dumping someone you had true romantic feelings for after heat sex was a cruel thing to do. And if Jeno gave Jaemin a mating mark....neither of them could carry on. Jaemin would be stuck with him, or if they broke up, those marks would always be there. Neither of them could have a mate again. Jaemin didn't want to do that to Jeno nor did he want to be stuck in that situation. 

So, it would have to be somewhere in between. Between official mating and a simple flirtation ship. 

Maybe...the promise. Where Chenle and Jisung were at right now. Being promised to one another, promising to share a heat, promising to become mates for life. But not actually going through with it. 

Now, that was perfect. Jaemin could get that feeling of power without taking things too far. Being promised mates...well all of that was just words, after all. 

"Jaemin?" Jeno called, pulling the omega teen out of his thoughts. 

"Huh?" Jaemin answered, shaking his head. He flushed a little; he'd totally tuned out of their conversation. Hopefully Jeno wouldn't be upset that Jaemin hadn't been listening. 

But he wasn't upset, of _course_ he wasn't. Instead Jeno just smiled at Jaemin's absent mindedness. 

"Cute," he mumbled under his breath.

Jaemin slowly smiled at Jeno. To Jeno's eyes it would be shy, soft, and sweet, but Jaemin knew it was utterly sinister. 

It was _working._

~~~~~~~~~~

Every single day Donghyuck's wildest dreams were coming more and more true.

What a _privilege_ it was to be able to scurry down to Mark's house after school and have the door be left open for him, to be able to enter Mark's room and gaze upon his perfect face, inhale his perfect scent, hear his perfect voice and learn the deepest thoughts in his perfect mind. 

Before, Donghyuck wasn't sure of what would happen if and when he finally got to talk to Mark again, but an inkling inside his chest always said Donghyuck would fall right back into love. That inkling had been right; he'd fallen quickly, easily, without question. 

The only issue now was where Mark stood. Donghyuck had a feeling that Mark felt the same, but he didn't want to presume or just have it sum up to wishful thinking. So Donghyuck still treaded slowly and lightly, waiting for Mark to give more of a sign about the feelings he held in his heart. 

But if Mark didn't feel the same, it was okay. It would always be okay. Even just a friendship with Mark would be worth the world. 

Donghyuck finally reached Mark's cabin and went in, no inhibitions, straight to Mark's room. The smile that bloomed on Mark's face upon seeing Donghyuck was an image the alpha teen would keep forever. 

As Donghyuck came closer to kneel beside Mark's bed, as he always did, he noticed the flowers he'd brought Mark a few days before on his bedside table. They'd been put in a vase now, filled with water, but the flowers were dead, each and every one of them. Picked flowers Donghyuck had always seen before lived longer, at least, he thought they did. But Mark still kept them beside his bed, petals brown and scattering around the vase, all the same. 

"Hi," Donghyuck said with a breathless smile, resting his head on Mark's mattress. As always, Mark turned on his side to look at him. 

"Hi," he answered back, every shy. 

"You look pretty," Donghyuck mumbled. Mark immediately flushed and tried to hide his face, but Donghyuck could see he was still grinning. Just seeing him like this, Donghyuck grinned back. 

"Stop," Mark whined. "I look like shit." 

"No," was all Donghyuck could answer. "No way." 

Mark made the most _adorable_ face and sat up a little, clearing his throat. 

"How was school?" 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. "Same as always. How was your day?" 

"Same as always." 

"Your dad's been staying home lately in the morning, right?" 

"Yeah. It's nice, to have the company. But it's not Doyoung who stays home, it's Jaehyun, so I think he's a bit embarrassed about having to stay home while being the alpha." 

Donghyuck sighed. "I know a lot of alphas felt that way but like...I never got it. I dunno about him but I'd much rather be here with you than out at school or helping with the hunt." 

"That's just you, I guess. I'm just glad at least someone feels that way." 

"I wish he just hadn't been so obvious." 

"I know, I know. He tries, he really does. And I know part of him does really like staying home with me but he just can't overcome that alpha instinct." 

"It's unfair. It makes you feel guilty for something you have absolutely no control over." 

Mark sighed back. "Exactly. Well...thanks for understanding." 

"That's what I'm here for. That's why teenagers have friends, so they can vent about their annoying parents." 

Mark giggled at that and Donghyuck melted a little, scooting in closer. Looking at each other, neither of them could just stop _smiling._

"Speaking of parents...what are you gonna do when you finish school? Are you gonna move out?" 

Donghyuck shrugged. "I guess there's enough empty cabins for it. But I think they want the company, with everything that's going on. And the body heat in the cabin." 

"True, true." 

"It'll be easy too. My life will basically just stay the same as right now, except instead of school I'll go hunt with my dad Johnny." 

"Isn't that a little..." 

"Boring? Yeah. Agreed. But with what's going on, what can you do? There's not many interesting things that can be done...and as an alpha, there's so little choice already as to what you do after you finish school. But with the famine the hunt needs every alpha they can get." 

"Well...what do you think you'll do once the famine is over?" 

"Ah, now _that's_ a different question," Donghyuck answered. "I'll probably get my own place. I guess I'll hunt? But maybe I can try to figure out something else I could do as well. I don't mind hunting but...I do like a little more variety in my life." 

"That does sound like you," Mark answered with a smile. 

"I just get bored easily, especially with alpha stuff," Donghyuck explained. 

Mark looked away briefly. "What about..." He desperately wanted to ask Donghyuck about mating, if he had someone in mind, but didn't have the courage to get out and say it. 

"Ooh! Wait, you know?" Donghyuck started, a bright grin appearing on his face, not hearing Mark's words. "Maybe instead of your parents taking care of you, once the famine is over and everything you could move in with me in my cabin! Now _that_ would be great, right? Your parents could visit of course but then they could hunt as they like and I could take care of you. I'd much prefer that, you know? We could take walks sometimes and I could show you all around territory; I bet you haven't walked around it in a while, right?" 

With each word Donghyuck spoke, Mark's heart broke a little more. It was obvious how just the thought of this future made Donghyuck beyond excited, and it was the future Mark wanted more than literally anything in the world. But it couldn't happen; it was impossible. 

But Mark didn't speak up yet, and Donghyuck continued on. "And then maybe since you're an omega you could decorate the cabin? Do you like that? I mean your room is kinda bare but I guess that's because neither of your parents are omegas...well, anyways, if you don't like that I could help you out. I think our cabin would be really pretty. And we'd always keep two fires going, just like in here, so that you could always stay warm and safe and comfortable. And maybe then since the famine's gone and all there'll be flowers growing again, right? We can go flower picking and put them everywhere so our cabin smells nice, and it's all pretty, Mark, just like you-" 

"Hyuck-" 

"And then maybe we would visit everyone, like all of our friends! Jaemin and Chenle and Jisung and Renjun. By then Chenle and Jisung might have kids, oh my god...but I just know they'll be _so_ happy to see you, and-" 

"Donghyuck!" Mark almost shouted this time, and the alpha teen finally shut up. 

"Wh-what?" 

"That's..." Mark looked down and sighed painfully. "That's not going to happen. It's never going to happen." 

"You don't know-" 

"I _do_ know. And Kun knows, and my parents know. I...I'm not going to make it that long Donghyuck. It's a miracle I've even made it this far in life." 

"But, if you've made it this far, then..." Donghyuck said, his speech growing in pitch, staring at the ground with shaking eyes. 

"Donghyuck, I...it's hard to explain but I just.... _know_ that I don't have very much longer. I'm not getting significantly worse but I've never gotten better, and every year I become a little more sick. Donghyuck, I'm going to die. And it's going to be soon." 

The alpha swallowed thickly and sat on the floor, unable to look at Mark's face. He'd always known in the back of his head that this was the way it had to be with Mark. But over these weeks it had been so lovely, so perfect, so right that Donghyuck had convinced himself it could be this way forever. 

But it couldn't. There was an end date to all of this and it wasn't the old age kind of end Donghyuck wanted. 

"I....I like having you around so, so much. You've made my life so much better. It's hard to imagine going back to being without you. But...if you don't think you can handle when I do....go away, then I advise you get out of this now, leave and don't come back. For both of our sakes, you know? We're only going to get more attached." 

Donghyuck finally regained the strength to look back at Mark. That wasn't an option. Of _course_ it wasn't. "Mark, it's worth the pain of later to have you back in my life. I'll never leave, unless you want me to," he spoke. He meant every word of what he said, looking Mark deep in his eyes, just trying to convey every feeling in his heart. 

"I don't want you to get hurt though..." Mark trailed off, swallowing, turning his head away as if he was about to cry. "I don't want to mess up your life." 

Mark rubbed his eyes cutely and Donghyuck's heart broke, moving Mark's smaller, more delicate hands out of his face. Donghyuck didn't quite squeeze or hold them but he kept them in his hands, not wanting to let go. He was afraid it was too much but Mark kept his hands in Donghyuck's, a sigh of release coming over him, as if Donghyuck's gentle touch made him immediately more relaxed. 

"You could never mess up my life, Mark. Never. My life was messed up enough before you came back in it. You said I made your life so much better and really, you did the same for mine. No matter what, you've made my life better." 

The two teenagers just stared at one another for a while, searching, neither sure for what. But they could feel the chill and the darkness seeping in from the window into Mark's too hot room; it almost killed them. 

"I don't want you to leave," Mark spoke, just barely above a whisper, leaving his hand in Donghyuck's. 

"I don't want you to leave either," Donghyuck answered, using every muscle in his body to stop himself from crying. 


	9. eight.

"Jeno!" Came the high pitched screams of his sisters Hyejoo and Yerim as the alpha teen walked in his home. The two little girls came running over to him, each grabbing onto one leg. 

"Hi girls," Jeno sweetly answered, squatting to give each girl a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. With a small grunt, Jeno picked up each one. Jeno thought maybe they were getting a bit too old for him to carry both at once, but he didn't say anything, just tensing his bicep and walking through the house. 

It was a mess, of course. When was it not? Toys, clothes, furniture, leaves, dirt, everything scattered around the place, so massive to accommodate the size of their family. 

But it was an organized mess; a sweet mess. Jeno and Jungwoo knew where everything was. How could they ever keep it neat with so many _people_ just running all over the place? 

It may drive some crazy, but Jeno always sort of liked it this way. 

"Yo," Jeno's sister Heejin spoke up. Her voice was low and cool but she still beamed and hugged her brother, Jeno's youngest sisters still in his arms. She was in upper school now but Jeno still towered over her (she was an omega after all). But Jeno towered over almost everyone else in his family, including his omega father Jungwoo, except Jisung and his alpha father Yukhei. He was still taller than Yangyang. But Yangyang had just presented as an alpha last week, and he was still in middle school. Everyone knew that the alphas of their family were gigantic, and when Yangyang grew up more he would definitely join them. Often, Jeno wondered how his youngest sisters would present, and if they'd be tall too. 

"Oh god, Hyejoo! Yerim! Hyejoo! Yerim! Oh thank god," Jeno's omega dad Jungwoo called as he walked into the main room. He breathed a massive sigh of relief. "Oh goodness, I was helping Yangyang with something for school in the back and then Hyejoo and Yerim were gone and...you have them." Everyone chuckled as Yangyang followed his dad into the main room. Seeing the youngest children taken care of, Jungwoo flopped onto the couch. Jeno smiled at his family; he always looked forward to these times after he got back from school (although he was always willing to sacrifice some of it to get a few extra minutes with Jaemin). 

"Hi dad," Jeno said with a little giggle, alternating bouncing his sisters on his knees. 

"Hello," he said, still breathing deeply. "How was your day?" 

Jeno grinned widely. "Really, really good." Yangyang gave him a look at Jeno glared, still smiling a bit with a blush coming up on his cheeks. 

Jungwoo's head darted back and forth. "Where's Jisung?" 

"At Chenle's," all the siblings spoke simultaneously before Hyejoo and Yerim burst into peals of little girl giggles. 

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. "Of course, of course. Well, speaking of being at a boyfriend's place....you've been staying out later these days, Jeno. And a little birdy told me that he's seen you out with Jaemin..." 

Jeno blushed brightly and smiled just at the very mention of Jaemin's name. "Um...." 

"Ooh! Do you have a _boyfriend?"_ Heejin teased. 

"Jeno has a boyfriend, Jeno has a boyfriend!" Hyejoo and Yerim chanted. 

"Nothing's official yet," Jeno admitted in a voice a little too high pitched for an alpha. "And thanks for telling everyone Yangyang!" 

"I can't help that I saw you two together, and he was _all over_ you..." 

Jeno whined and Heejin ooh'ed at her brother, Hyejoo snuggling into Jeno's shoulder. 

"All over you? How do I not know about this?" Jungwoo teased. 

"Things have been really busy lately..." 

"Do you like him?" Jungwoo asked softly. Slowly, Jeno nodded. 

"Yeah...a lot. So much." 

Jungwoo gazed at his son happily, proudly. "I'm so excited for you," he spoke, and meant it genuinely. 

"I think it's gonna be great....really," Jeno admitted, a bit shy but so so proud too. 

"If anyone deserves it, it's you," Yangyang said, in a rare moment of softness. 

Jeno beamed at the affection of his family. "I'll keep you guys updated, alright?" 

"You have to!" Heejin cried. 

"Yukhei's gonna be so happy when he hears this," Jungwoo said. 

Jeno could feel his heart bursting with joy. It hurt sometimes that Yukhei wasn't around for moments like this but Jeno knew that when he could be, nobody would be more proud of Jeno than him. 

"Jeno Jeno Jeno!" Yerim suddenly cried, bouncing on Jeno's leg. "Can you play with me and Hyejoo?" 

"Of course!" Jeno said with a soft smile, both girls squealing excitedly. "Bye guys," he said to the rest of his family. With a grunt Jeno stood up, carrying his sisters to their room so they could all play. 

~~~~~~~~~~

"Jaemin!" Came the voice Jaemin leasted wanted or expected to hear as the omega teen walked in his home. Sitting there in the main room was Jaemin's dad- not his omega dad Ten but their pack's Head Alpha, Jaemin's alpha father, Taeyong. "Hi!" He was grinning from ear to ear, waving and standing to greet his son.

"What are you doing here?" Jaemin quickly asked, leaning back and not moving from the doorway. This was the first time Jaemin had seen his father in the daylight in years; usually Taeyong left the house before dawn and came back long after the sun fell into the night. 

The house was neat, of course. Jaemin's omega dad Ten kept the place pretty nice, and Jaemin helped out too when he had the time.

It was bare, though. So bare. It always had been, not much of the crafts and toys Jaemin saw at his friend's houses. As soon as he'd presented too, the few toys Jaemin had disappeared. 

_Taeyong always sacrifices_ , Ten had explained when Jaemin was young, wondering why his house was so empty compared to his friends. Taeyong sacrificed having a nice, lovely place for his family for the sake of his pack, so they could have nice things instead. 

Well, in the end, what good had it done anyone? 

"Um," Taeyong started, looking down at the ground, his face falling as quickly as he had smiled just moments before. "I...I wanted to spend some time with you...." 

"Where's Ten?" 

"Well....our hunt was actually decent today so I thought it would be okay if I left earlier to spend time with you! Ten is still gathering, but we can hang out together!" 

He was so....cheery. Jaemin felt a little sick; he could feel his false energy from across the room. 

"Come on sit down!" Taeyong spoke eagerly, now decisively ignoring Jaemin's hesitance. Slowly, Jaemin walked over and sat down on the couch, as far away from his father as he could get. "It's been so long since we've spent time together...oh I've missed it so much! It's just like when you were little..." 

Jaemin barely held back an eye roll. What was the point of this? Why did he feel like he had to lie? Maybe he was just trying to get out of hunting for an afternoon... 

"So...how are you?" 

"Fine." 

"How was school?" 

"Fine." 

"How have your friends been?" 

"Fine." 

Jaemin crossed his arms and sighed. Taeyong looked at his son whistfully before staring at his feet. 

"Are Jisung and Chenle still planning to mate?" 

"Yup." 

"And how's Renjun? I know he wasn't presenting yet, has that been figured out? Yuta's been really quiet lately so I don't know..." 

"He's a beta," Jaemin said firmly. 

"Oh! I'm so glad he finally figured it out. I think it'll be great for him!" 

"What do you mean?" Jaemin deadpanned. Now he _definitely_ rolled his eyes. 

"I do my best to make this a good pack for betas. And you know, Doyoung's doing pretty good here!" 

"He's not Doyoung." 

"W-Well, of _course_ not...has he taken it well?" 

"No." 

Taeyong swallowed and hummed, trying to think of _something_ to say, trying to push Jaemin's weirdness away. 

Jaemin just waited for this to be over. Why should Taeyong bother with all of this now? It was too late. He didn't need to fake all of this nicety; Jaemin knew how he really felt about having a son like Jaemin.

"So...I actually heard that you've made a new friend recently," Taeyong said with a sly smile on his face. 

Oh _god;_ the Jeno thing was the last topic Jaemin wanted to discuss with his father. Maybe if he played dumb it would just go away. 

"Who?" 

"I've heard people have being seeing you around with Jeno, and it's been awfully touchy-feely..." 

Jaemin didn't really know what to say. "I guess..." 

"Do you like him?" 

Jaemin shrugged. Trying to know him like this, after all this time? _No._ Jaemin wasn't going to give him anything. 

Taeyong's face fell at Jaemin's reluctance, more than any of reluctance he'd displayed before. "You know...you don't have to find a mate right away, right? You don't have to have one as soon as you finish schooling or for your first heat. It's really okay to wait a while to find someone right. I know me and your dad were way out of high school, and the parents of all your friends too." 

"You shouldn't brag about the circumstances of that," Jaemin mumbled, remembering the twisted history of his parents and his friend's parents. None of them could call Jaemin's plan with Jeno fucked up when they thought about that, how Taeyong allowed their packs alphas to kill the alphas of his omega father's pack, and to abandon all of the pups and omegas except five, forced to move in with the pack's most powerful alphas. 

In the end, Doyoung and the omegas all ended up mating with the alphas that had chosen them, and now they all seemed happy together. 

Jaemin and Donghyuck had never been able to decide if it was stockholm syndrome or not. 

Taeyong winced and didn't answer his child, Jaemin scoffing as he spoke. Of course he didn't address it. Even an alpha like him knew at least partially that what he'd done was wrong. "Still. Don't feel pressured, okay?" 

"Sure." 

They fell silent once again, Taeyong grasping at straws to make conversation, Jaemin doing everything in his power to end it. 

"Um...so the test hunt is coming up. Are your alpha friends excited?" 

Jaemin shrugged and grimaced. "Kinda." 

"Well...I'm pretty excited," Taeyong continued, just desperately trying his best to continue on with this failing conversation. "It'll be interesting to see what the alphas around your age are like." 

"Most of the alphas my age are shit." 

"Oh," Taeyong said, his voice a little surprised. Jaemin smirked; that surprise said so much. He clearly didn't know or care about what they did to Jaemin. 

"I think they can hunt just fine though. After all, that's what _matters_ ," Jaemin continued, an angry inflection in his voice. 

"Actually...that's not _all_ of what the test hunt is about. I don't know how past Heads did it but I always look at how the alphas treat each other and the animals as well as their hunting ability. How they talk about omegas also plays a really big part." 

_Lies. All lies,_ Jaemin thought. 

"And you know, the test hunt is the main deciding factor for the Head to nominate the next Head Alpha. I mean, it's always up to a vote but the nomination always helps..." 

"I know how our pack's leadership works," Jaemin answered. 

"Oh good! It's so important. Well...you know, even though the test hunt is the deciding factor, the Head Alpha usually goes in with a few ideas in mind of who they'll choose...so I was actually wondering if you had any ideas?" 

Jaemin scoffed. "Me?" 

"Of course. You know the alphas your age better than I do. And you're my son...I trust you." 

Jaemin winced at his father's words. "I dunno. Who were you thinking?" 

Jaemin thought he knew what alphas Taeyong would name. Maybe the leader of that band of bullies, or any one of them that's extra strong. But, Jaemin's response utterly surprised him. 

"I was thinking of Donghyuck." 

Jaemin was shocked for a moment, but only a moment, until his senses came back to him. Quickly, his surprised expression turned into a deep glare: it all made sense. 

Of _course_ Taeyong would pick Donghyuck. It's not that Jaemin thought Donghyuck would make a bad Head, in fact, Jaemin didn't think anyone would make a better Head than Donghyuck, out of the whole pack. He was strong, _so_ strong, but always treated omegas with kindness. But Jaemin didn't ever think anyone would agree with him, adult or teenager, except maybe the rest of their friend group and Donghyuck's parents. 

But Taeyong was not planning to nominate Donghyuck for the reasons Jaemin would, at least he assumed so. Taeyong was nominating Donghyuck because of that _stupid_ assumption that haunted Donghyuck and Jaemin wherever they went. He thought Donghyuck and Jaemin were planning to mate, no matter how much either of them denied so, so the title of Head Alpha would stay in his family. Well, he guessed this was why he'd tried to dissuade Jaemin from being with Jeno. 

The whole _point_ of the election system was so that the title of Head Alpha didn't stay in one family forever. But Head Alphas had been known to try and cheat the system, nominate their children or their children's mates so they could still have some control, no matter what. Why would Taeyong do any better? 

So, Jaemin's answer was clear. " _Fuck_ no." 

Taeyong turned to his son in shock. "Wh-what?" 

"No! Ugh. I know you don't know me but I didn't think you were that blind to who I am." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I am _not_ going to be Donghyuck's mate. We don't like each other like that. Sorry! It's never going to happen, no matter how much you want us to, or how much everyone wants us to. We're not mating. So don't bother nominating him if you just want to keep the Head Alpha title in the family." 

"That's...That's not why I nominated him Jaemin. That's not the reason at all." 

Jaemin rolled his eyes. At this point, the lies were making him exhausted. 

"You and Donghyuck's friendship has always been special; everyone can see it. But what makes it special is that it's just that: a friendship, nothing more. Not many people expected it to last past the age of presenting, but the fact that it has says a lot about both of you. Donghyuck being a good friend and just a friend to you for all of these years makes me think that he clearly cares about omegas. So that definitely influenced my decision. But I did really want your opinion." 

It was a good excuse, Jaemin thought. "If that's your reasoning, then I think Donghyuck's a good choice too. But it's obvious that it isn't." 

"H-How?" 

"After everything, I can't believe you just want to keep things in the family..." 

"Jaemin, did you not hear what I just said? I don't want to keep things in the family, that's wrong and I know it. I know you're not going to mate Donghyuck." 

_Bullshit. Bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit._

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not an alpha," Jaemin mumbled. 

"J-Jaemin, why are you sorry? There's nothing to be sorry about." 

"Bullshit," Jaemin whispered, but Taeyong must have not heard it, because he didn't answer. 

Taeyong looked beyond shocked and concerned, back and forth between his son and the floor beneath him. 

But Jaemin just ignored it, ignored it all. 

This afternoon had been the worst thing he could have possibly imagined. Hearing his father's lies, his false interest and even falser concern was just exhausting. It must have been some stupid excuse for him to get out of hunting; an ineffectual Head Alpha turning even more lazy and useless. 

Wasn't it just so fitting that the fuck up Head Alpha had a fuck up pup? Leading the pack to famine, with nobody to take over his line. Honestly, the rest of the pack was probably overjoyed that nobody from Taeyong's family could lead them again. 

Not many people liked either of them. How could Taeyong ever be so joyous as when Jaemin came home, knowing how everyone felt about their entire family? His upset expression fit the mood of their family a lot better. 

"Jaemin...are you sure everything is okay?" Taeyong reached out to rub his son's arm but Jaemin snatched it away, curling into himself in the very corner of the couch. 

"I'm fine. Everything is fine." 

"You....you can _always_ talk to me and Ten about anything that's bothering you. We're here for you! I know things are crazy and stressful right now but-" 

"I told you, it's fine." 

Taeyong swallowed thickly and looked away. Jaemin watched his father, aged so much in the years since the famine, always small for an alpha but so slight, so thin these days. Even though Jaemin was a young omega he was still almost as tall as his alpha father, but Taeyong always had such a commanding presence that his stature had never mattered though. Even in the days of the famine he'd kept that presence but in this moment; he'd never appeared so small. His eyes were wide and concerned and maybe a little wet, all of that cheer from when Jaemin first walked in was gone. 

What, was Taeyong expecting Jaemin to be excited and just go along with everything he said? After all the shit Jaemin had to put up with? No way. If Taeyong was upset, it was all his own doing. And if Jaemin was upset, that was just a result of his words. 

They weren't close. And Jaemin didn't _want_ to be close. Their relationship didn't have to change. 

"Jaemin I love y-" 

Interrupting his father Jaemin stood up from the couch. He was done, he was _tired._

"I'm tired from school. I'm gonna go take a nap in my room now, alright?" 

Taeyong just stared back at him, expressionless, before letting out a deep sigh. 

"A-alright." 

"Bye," Jaemin said quickly before rushing away. He could feel Taeyong's eyes on the back of his head, watching him go. 


	10. nine.

It was a typical morning in the new life of Mark, but better. 

For once, Mark's solitary window was not fogged up with dew from the tempurature difference between inside his too hot room, and the freezing air outside. It was still cold, yes, but Mark could feel it even from his room: a single ray of sunshine. It brightened Mark, too, in a way. It reminded him of something...someone. 

It was Donghyuck. That sunshine reminded Mark of his sunshine, the childhood friend Mark had never thought he would see again, but that he grew to care for beyond anything he could have imagined. And that's why things were better: everything in his life was brightened by the knowledge that he'd get to see Donghyuck soon enough.

He just had to get through this part of the day. 

These awkward morning hours with his father Jaehyun were something Mark always wished would go a little faster. Yes, he should soak up all the time with his parents that he can get. But it was hard to feel comfortable when he knew his father didn't want to be here, and when he would rather be with Donghyuck instead.

"You know the test hunt's coming up pretty soon," Jaehyun said, just trying to make small talk to fill the time. 

"Oh yeah," Mark answered. "Do you know who Taeyong's thinking of nominating for Head?" 

"The rumour is he's thinking of Donghyuck, actually." 

Mark tried not to react but he choked a little bit on air. "O-Oh." 

"Yeah. You know...I see it," Jaehyun answered. 

"Mmh." Mark didn't know what to say, terrified his father would suspect something. So they fell silent again, letting the awkwardness fill the room. 

Mark watched as Jaehyun turned longingly towards door, casting his eyes outside, before taking a deep breath and coming back to Mark. 

The omega teen couldn't take it any more; he had to confront him.

"Dad?" Mark asked, his voice small, concerned. 

"Are you okay?" Jaehyun answered. The alpha ran back over to his son and looked him over. 

"Dad, dad, I'm fine. I... just want to ask you something." 

Jaehyun looked back over at him. "What is it?" 

"Are...are you upset to be here? Are you embarrassed that Taeyong asked you to take care of me instead of Doyoung?" 

Jaehyun just stared back at his son, eyes wide, inhaling and exhaling deeply. It was obvious he had no idea what to say. 

He sighed, again, and looked down at the ground. 

"I....I don't know if it would be worse to lie to you or tell you the truth about how I feel..." 

"Tell me the truth," Mark firmly spoke, sitting up in his bed and crossing his arms. 

Jaehyun sighed again and turned away. "I...I'm an alpha, Mark. There are certain things alphas are always told we are supposed to do: hunt, be strong, protect our families. I...here, I can't really do those things. I've always tried my best to go against what I've always been told to do, you know? I'm mated to a beta, a beta that's strong, and that hunts, and I love him so much for that. And I don't mind doing omega things sometimes, so he doesn't have to. But...to be in this position all the time, instead? I...it's hard Mark. I'm trying my best, but... _oh Mark_. You're my son, my child. I love you and I'd do anything for you. I just love you so much." Jaehyun sat down beside Mark's bed to smile at him softly. "It's all worth it, all of this sacrifice. And... it's what's best for the pack too. Doyoung is a good hunter, better than me. He _has_ to be out there with this famine going on. And...it hurts, you know? That I'm the alpha but...I can't be out there. But it's what's best for the pack, and for you, and it's worth it." 

Mark sighed and looked away, tightening his crossed arms. 

Sacrifice? It was a _sacrifice_ to spend time with him, to take care of him? 

Mark clucked his tongue, scrunching his face. How much of a stupid, blind alpha could his father be? Was he just a burden to him? 

Jaehyun claimed to love him. And of course Mark knew he did. But did he love his status more? Did he love his power, his hunting, his reputation more than all of that? More than Doyoung, even, who Mark could clearly see he had towards jealousy towards despite being his mate? 

Of course; Mark should have known. Typical alpha. Was it wrong for him to have hope that his own father would be better? 

"Mark, are you okay?" 

Mark rolled his eyes. "Yup. I'm _just_ fine." 

Jaehyun swallowed and looked away. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't want to lie and pretend like everything feels alright because I know you can read right through that, it's why you asked in the first place, right?" 

"Mm-hm. Right." 

"I'm sorry if...it's not what you wanted to hear. I don't mean to hurt you." 

"It's not that it's not what I wanted to hear. It's just that I expected you to think differently." 

"You know...this is a normal alpha feeling. This is just how alphas are." 

Mark looked away sharply. Jaehyun didn't have to be like this. Donghyuck wasn't like this.

But he didn't want to do this, he felt too shitty, too sick, too tired to fight. So he shifted onto his side and looked away. 

"I understand," he mumbled. 

Jaehyun smiled a little bit and ran his fingers through Mark's hair. Mark took a deep breath, in and out. He would save his rage for another day; he didn't want to _deal_ with it right now. He wanted his parents to leave him alone; he wanted to feel the sun through the window and have Donghyuck by his side. 

Again, in just a few hours that would be here. He would feel that afternoon sun on his face. He would feel Donghyuck's eyes on him, his gentle smile. Even if Donghyuck and his relationship wasn't to the capacity he wanted, he would still be there, be his friend, endlessly caring about him, fighting to understand him.

He just had to get through this, that was all. 

Jaehyun stood up again, sparing a brief glance at the window before walking out the door probably to get some water, to stoke the fire. 

It would be over soon enough. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a typical afternoon in the new life of Jaemin, but better. 

It was after school and he and Jeno were sitting in their spots, clouded mostly in shade. But today was a rare day when a small ray of the sun had fought its way through the clouds, casting a small bit of sunshine onto the two boys. The air was still freezing cold but that small bit of light had brought a joy to the whole pack; everyone could feel it. There had been a tenderness amongst them that nobody had felt in years and years. The bully alphas even left Jaemin alone, for once. 

And now that light was shining right on Jaemin and Jeno, on their special rock, their special place, during their special time together. And it felt all the more special because of it. 

Jeno had his arm wrapped around Jaemin's neck and Jaemin had his head on Jeno's shoulder, quiet, relaxed. Jaemin could feel a contentedness in his heart that hadn't been there in a long while; _especially_ not since he'd had that conversation with his father, but from even before. Honestly, he hadn't felt quite this at peace since he was a little boy. 

He didn't like to think that it was Jeno's calming presence that made him feel this way. 

But Jaemin just _knew_ that this feeling, as nice as it was, would not be able to beat the feeling of breaking Jeno's heart. The power he would have would trump this peace, absolutely. 

So, he could take in this feeling now. Things could only get better. 

"How've you been?" Jeno asked in his low, comforting voice. 

"Good. Really good." If they were just talking about today, it wasn't a lie. 

But if they were talking about any other recent days, it absolutely was. 

Jaemin had been on edge ever since he'd had that talk with his dad, Head Alpha Taeyong. The whole thing had been...weird. It had been a long, long time since he had spent that much time with the alpha, and the fact that they were spending time together was weird in itself. But his behavior had been even weirder: he'd been _so_ falsely kind, falsely concerned, that in Jaemin's weakest moments late at night, he'd pondered the fact that maybe, Taeyong had meant everything he'd said. 

But Jaemin had quickly remembered himself, his words, the words of both his parents and his friends and the people at school. Of course he'd been lying. All he'd wanted was an excuse to get a break from the hunt. 

Still, the whole thing made him uncomfortable. 

And since then, being in the house had only gotten more uncomfortable. When Taeyong and Jaemin passed one another, however briefly, Taeyong still made an effort to say hello. But the joy he'd always faked was gone; Jaemin figured he didn't feel like he needed to bother anymore. 

But what was worse was his father Ten's behavior. 

It was like he was trying to pretend like everything was the same. But Ten definitely knew what had happened, it was obvious, Jaemin could _feel_ it. He was as cold as he could be while still acting normal, and _fuck_ did it hurt. 

Jaemin had always assumed Ten was on his side, not Taeyong's. But maybe that wasn't the case. 

Late at night, he heard them murmuring hushed conversations like never before. 

The whole thing was just...weird. Uncomfortable. Something Jaemin desperately needed to escape from. 

So, he'd been spending more time with Jeno. Working on his plan, making Jeno fall, not being at home. All in all, it was a win-win situation. He didn't have to deal with his parents and his plan was working more than he ever expected. 

So maybe, it was all a good thing. 

Jaemin gave Jeno a smile as he came out of his thoughts, and Jeno grinned back. 

"It's good to see you smiling again. You've been so...down the past few days. What's been going on?" 

"Nothing," Jaemin easily lied. If he was vulnerable with Jeno for even a few moments, then he knew everything he'd built thus far would just come crashing down. "Just...you know." 

Jeno nodded. "I understand, I understand." He paused for a minute before continuing, looking at Jaemin with the gentlest of affection. "Today's a magical day, you know? I can just feel it in the air." 

"I agree." 

Jeno began to comb his fingers through the little hairs on the back of Jaemin's neck. Jaemin steeled himself from melting a little, squirming to seem like he was shy. Honestly, it was an unusually bold move for the teen alpha. Usually he was way to shy to do anything quite so intimate. 

"Jaemin," he spoke, a pitch lower than his normal voice. His fingers shook on Jaemin's neck and his voice trembled; he was nervous. Jaemin perked up and turned to him, not sure what was going on, but excited to see what could come. Jeno couldn't make eye contact but Jaemin tried, locking the alpha in with his eyes. 

"What is it?" Jaemin asked, tenderly, softly, feeling none of those things in that moment. 

"Jaemin." He sighed, turning his eyes to the ground. "Do you know how nervous I am right now?" 

"I know you well now. I can tell. But really, it's okay. Tell me whatever you need to." Jaemin reached for Jeno's larger, veiny alpha hand and held it in his own delicate omega fingers. Jeno took a deep breath at that, seemingly clearly comforted. 

"Jaemin... I've been wanting to say these words to you for so long, like, almost since we were _kids..._ I... I've always thought you were wonderful and so handsome and kind but getting to know you recently I've realized you're even more of all those things than I thought before... just so smart, so strong, so independent... there's no other omega like you, really. I... I thought the day you asked me to sit with you all at lunch was the best day of my life thus far but each day since has only gotten better."

Jaemin was shaking. If this was the moment he thought it was, then he was beyond overjoyed.

His plan had worked. 

It was a little hard to think of the plan when Jeno was showering him with so much kindness. But Jaemin refocused himself and watched Jeno, squeezed his hand, displayed the nerves that he, for once, didn't have to fake. 

"Jaemin... I have feelings for you. So much, so deep, and I know that I'll never find another omega that I feel this way about. I know we are both young but it's been you, it's always been you, ever since we were children it's been you."

Both of them were shaking with the weight of the moment; Jaemin could practically feel Jeno's heartbeat through the rock. 

What was Jaemin going to do; how could he possibly respond to a confession like that? 

Keep it simple. So, he launched himself across the short distance between them and held Jeno so tight. Slowly, still nervous, still awaiting a response, Jeno held Jaemin back.

"Me too," Jaemin mumbled into the crook of Jeno's neck. "Me too."

"Really?" Jeno spoke breathlessly, and even though Jaemin couldn't see the expression on his face he could feel the smile on his lips. 

"Of _course_ Jeno. How could I feel anything else?"

They pulled away from the hug and Jeno clasped Jaemin's hands tightly. This was the moment. This was that moment, and Jaemin knew what he had to say. 

"When my heat comes... I'll search for you," Jaemin spoke softly, and Jeno shuddered. 

"And in that moment... I can give you the mark?" Jeno asked so nervously, so hopefully. Slowly, Jaemin nodded and Jeno sucked in a breath. "So... we're promised?" 

"Promised mates." 

"Oh my god," Jeno whispered, all one breath. 

Jaemin felt just the same. Maybe not for the reasons Jeno did, but it was a breathless sort of moment.

His plan had worked, fully, completely, utterly. It had gone further than Jaemin had ever expected. Honestly, it was a surprise that Jeno even confessed first; Jaemin had figured he was going to have to be the one to do it. But Jeno liked him so much that he couldn't wait another moment and did it. It was _perfect._

The first part of his plan was complete. He and Jeno were now promised mates. Now, all Jaemin had to do was find the right time to dump him, the right _way_ to dump him, just so it hurt the most, all before his first heat. 

This had been the hard part; that would be _easy._

At least, he could tell himself it would be easy. That this moment with Jeno was not utterly precious, something he could never forget. 

Jaemin let his head fall onto Jeno's shoulder, the two boys facing each other, fingers still intertwined. Jeno slowly moved his hand, from Jaemin's fingers to cup his chin, tilting his head so they locked eyes. 

Jeno gazed at him and let out a soft little exhale. 

"You can kiss me, you know," Jaemin mumbled. 

This wasn't Jaemin's first kiss. He'd played around with his friends, Donghyuck and Renjun and occasionally Chenle, when Jisung allowed, when they had all first presented. 

But this was Jaemin's first kiss that meant something, that wasn't just play. Maybe it meant something different to Jeno and Jaemin respectively. But it meant something nonetheless. 

"It's my first," Jeno mumbled, not giving Jaemin a moment to respond before he pressed their lips together. 

Was Jeno a good kisser? Probably; Jaemin couldn't tell. But it was a good kiss. About that, there was not a single doubt. 

It was as if Jaemin could feel every inch of Jeno's love through his lips. At that feeling Jaemin's heart began to thrum in his chest, and for a brief flash of a moment he thought _fuck I can't do this any more._ But Jaemin swallowed his hesitation, his fear, his regret, he swallowed back every inch of it and only pressed himself closer. 

He grabbed onto Jeno's shirt just to hold him tight, keep him close. 

_Maybe this was too much_. 

So the omega exhaled and detached himself from Jeno's mouth. As much as his lips tinged and his heart beat rapidly and his skin felt like electricity where Jeno touched he would have to make sure he didn't feel this way any more. He and Jeno would probably kiss a lot before Jaemin finished his plan; he would have to steel himself, get stronger, if he wanted to be able to follow through with it. 

The two teenagers rested their foreheads together, panting against each other's lips, feeling each other's breaths on their faces. It was all so _much._

"Should I walk you home?" Jeno asked, expression forming a frown, broken at the idea of parting from his promised mate even for a second. 

"No. I don't want to leave," Jaemin answered. Frankly, it was the truth, as much as he hated to admit why. 

"Good. I don't either." At Jaemin let Jeno kiss him again, as much as he wanted, as long as he wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to thank you all for your kudos and everything thus far! comments are also very, very much appreciated and are really motivating to me as an author. thank you all so so much! 


	11. ten.

Donghyuck could easily say that Mark had become the best thing in his life. 

At the end of the day, now, there was something to look forward to: the school bell no longer denoted sad conversations and lying to his friends and family and going for fruitless visits to the home of his childhood crush. Now it meant escape from the cruel world of his adolescent life and into the world of his Mark, soft, sweet, omega Mark who didn't care about the bullshit of outside. When Donghyuck was in Mark's room, all they had, all they needed, was each other. 

Yes, these precious moments had an expiration date. But Donghyuck couldn't dwell on it. If he was to have any pleasure in this life, he would have to pretend that moment wasn't coming. 

The way he felt about Mark...the way he felt about Mark was inexplicable, natural, easy, destiny. It was more than like or friendship, it was deep affection and care. Probably, Donghyuck could say it was love. 

And that was why he felt he had to keep his and Mark's new friendship a secret. It was so easy to tell that it all was love, and anyone could tell it would be a bad love, for both of them. 

But Donghyuck didn't give a single shit. He didn't want to stop loving Mark and he didn't think he could, even if he tried. So not sharing his new love with anyone was for the best, so nobody could make him doubt or be dissuaded. 

Did Mark feel the same way? Donghyuck wasn't sure. He always felt these same intense and forceful emotions coming from Mark just as much as they came from him. But Donghyuck couldn't feel secure in it; he might have been projecting. He felt strongly enough for that to be a possibility. 

But nonetheless, he'd love Mark as long as he could. He always had, after all. 

Donghyuck contemplated all of this as he made his way from school to Mark's cabin. These days there was no fear, no doubt between them; Mark insisted Donghyuck just enter whenever he could, whenever he pleased. Donghyuck didn't even bother to knock as he pushed Mark's front door open, making his way through the house as quickly as he could, bursting into Mark's room. 

And there he was; soft, thin, pretty, so easily broken. But Donghyuck would never let that happen, as long as he could, as much as he could. 

Mark's pink petal lips bloomed into a small upon seeing Donghyuck's face, his pitch black bedhead sticking up every which way. 

"Hi," he said quietly, his voice a bit low and garbled. 

"Just woke up from a nap?" 

"Mmh." 

"Do you wanna sleep more? It's okay, I can wait." 

Mark shook his head, adjusting himself so he was sitting up. "No. You're here; I wanna be awake." 

Donghyuck smiled at that and came closer. It was utterly cold that day, probably as some sort of punishment from the gods to the pack for having such sunny days a little while before. So despite the two fires blazing strong Mark had pulled the blankets tight around him, just on the verge of shivering. 

"Are you cold?" Donghyuck asked with concern, sitting on the edge of Mark's bed. 

Mark shook his head. "I-I'm fine." 

Donghyuck hummed and ignored him, standing up to try and stoke the fire a little more. 

"That's as big as it'll go..."

"I dunno," Donghyuck mumbled, going back to Mark and putting his fingers on his slightly exposed collarbone. Donghyuck gasped and jumped back a little; his skin was colder than ice. 

"It's always like that," Mark explained. 

"M-Mark..." 

"I'm always a little cold Hyuck. Don't worry about me." 

"I can't help it," Donghyuck mumbled. They locked eyes for a second and for a brief moment, some of the color came back into Mark's face. 

Donghyuck adjusted himself, sitting on the edge of Mark's bed. They'd been so close emotionally these days that physically things were becoming easier. Donghyuck didn't feel weird about holding Mark's hands when he talked, even when it made Mark stutter and smile for a few seconds afterward. And now Donghyuck didn't feel weird about reaching around to rub Mark's skinny arms with his larger alpha hands, trying his best to keep him warm. 

"Isn't this uncomfortable for you?" Mark asked with a little chuckle. 

Donghyuck shook his head and smiled. This twisted position honestly was a tiny bit uncomfortable, but if it made Mark feel even slightly better, it was worth it. 

They fell silent as Mark let out a tiny, relaxed exhale. Donghyuck let his eyes briefly wander around the room, landing on his bedside table. 

Somehow, the flowers Donghyuck had brought him all those days ago were still there. Well, they could barely be called flowers at this point, it was more like just wilted stems in a little glass of water, brown petals scattered all around. Donghyuck wondered why Mark even bothered to keep them there; he was sure one of his parents probably wanted to move it. But Donghyuck could imagine it in his head, Mark's parents trying to get rid of it and Mark firmly insisting they keep the stems and the glass there, the two shaking their heads in confusion and frustration. But Mark smiling at those dead stems when he was alone, not at what they are but who they represented. 

"How was school today?" Mark asked, bringing Donghyuck back from his head to earth. 

"Oh. Same as ever," Donghyuck answered. "Test hunt's coming up so the other alphas are going feral. I'm just waiting to see you. How was your day?" 

Mark sighed. "Fine. Same as ever too. I just waited to see you as well. My dad's being weird still." 

"Jaehyun?" 

"Yeah. I kinda probed him the other day and he admitted that taking care of me is an affront to his alpha-ness." 

Donghyuck held back a growl, not wanting to scare Mark. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "Fool. He's a fucking fool." 

"I know, I know. It makes me so sad. But, I don't want to be sad when I'm with you, you know?" 

"Alright, alright, we can stop talking about it." 

Donghyuck smiled at Mark and then snickered; in rubbing Mark's arms he'd accidentally sort of climbed on top of him. In that same moment Mark clearly noticed too, the two locking eyes and Mark flushing a little bit. The corner of his lips upturned in a shy smile. 

"U-Um." 

"Sorry," Donghyuck said awkwardly, moving a little bit off Mark. 

"I mean...u-um...it's n-nice when you...um...if you want you can lay down next to me. That...might keep me warm the same, or something, I dunno..." 

"Are you sure that's okay?" Donghyuck asked. 

Slowly, Mark nodded. "Yeah...yeah. it's okay." 

Taking a deep breath, Donghyuck moved back to the edge of Mark's bed. He slowly lowered himself down until he was laying beside Mark. Mark tossed the covers over him and he settled in, turning to his side to face the omega. 

Immediately they locked eyes, just laying beside each other in that small bed, only meant for one omega. So they were so close that Mark shivered, whether from the cold or the intensity of the moment, Donghyuck wasn't sure. 

But if it was the cold Donghyuck had to watch out for him so he moved himself a little closer, wrapping his arm around Mark and pulling him into his chest. The omega shivered but released a small sigh of relief. His skin was freezing to the touch but hopefully, the fire on Donghyuck's skin, inside his chest, would keep Mark warm. 

And ever slowly, Mark began to get a little warmer, his skin still cool but not quite so uncomfortable to put his hands on. Mark, clearly feeling more comfortable, dug himself further into Donghyuck's broad chest. Donghyuck put his hand on Mark's back and began to rub in circles.

"You're so warm," Mark mumbled into him.

Donghyuck chuckled. "Actually, it's pretty warm in here, with the fire going and all. And you know, I've always been like that." 

The omega paused for a long time before answering. "Every time that the sun came through my window, in those days when it was warm out, I thought of you," he mumbled, ever gently. 

Donghyuck felt his heart skip a thousand beats and he let out a shaky breath, practically aching at Mark's words. He couldn't stop himself from holding Mark closer. 

And Mark held him back, firmly pulling himself in, arm thrown over Donghyuck's waist as well. He warmed up a little. His breaths were smooth. This was right and Donghyuck felt almost too comfortable; he never wanted to leave. 

Being with Mark...being with Mark was just so easy, no matter what. It should have been awkward but it wasn't, at all, the two teen boys more relaxed than they had been in years. It shouldn't have been so simple; they had only really reconnected a few weeks before. But it felt like they'd known each other their whole lives, not with any distance like there had been in the real world. 

Life was beautiful and perfect in that tiny, tiny bed with Mark, that tiny omega that Donghyuck needed to be his. That practically already was his. 

Donghyuck just wasn't sure, just couldn't be sure that the intensity he felt was returned. 

But in this tender moment, he needed to know. He couldn't have this moment clouded by later realizing Mark had never felt the same, all along. He had to know now. If he had to run, now, he could run. But even just a moment more of this and he'd never escape his feelings for Mark as long as he lived. 

He wouldn't leave Mark, ever. Even if Mark felt nothing for him. But if that was the case, now was Donghyuck's last chance to close his heart, to carry on and have a normal life. 

One more moment in that tiny bed and he was stuck with forever, no matter what the outcome of his confession. 

So he had to do it, now. 

"Mark," he breathed out, the first word spoken between them in what felt like ages, even though it was probably only a few minutes. Mark didn't say anything, didn't look up, but nodded into Donghyuck's chest. His skin was warm to the touch, now. Just a little bit of heat radiated from him. "I've loved you as long as I can remember." 

Mark shuddered. "Like...." 

Donghyuck knew what Mark was asking; what kind of love did he mean? "Not friends. More than friends." 

"Me too, me too," Mark answered right away, his breaths shaky as he inhaled and exhaled. "But Donghyuck." The omega looked up at Donghyuck and his eyes were so bright, wide and full of concern and fear. Unthinkingly Donghyuck cupped his cheek, just slightly warm under his fingertips, he just wanted Mark to feel _okay_. "Donghyuck, it wasn't supposed to be like this." Mark looked away sharply, almost shamefully. "I...I never thought it would end up this way. I thought I would be an alpha, and you would be my omega, and things would be easy and happy and the whole pack would respect us, and I dunno, maybe I'd be Head, and Donghyuck I was supposed to take care of you..." Mark took a deep breath, eyes downcast as if he was on the verge of tears. "I wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to be an omega, I wasn't supposed to be...sick." 

"Mark...didn't I say that it was my turn to take care of you now?" Donghyuck spoke calmly. 

The omega nodded, pausing for a beat before speaking. "You did." 

"Well...then if you want, I'm yours. It doesn't matter that things didn't turn out the way we expected. I want to take of you. I am so happy to take care of you. And you take care of me in ways I don't think you can even imagine." Mark finally looked back up and Donghyuck and Donghyuck had to blink because he was so bright, so pretty, so delicate, with the stars in his eyes.

"I want you," Mark whispered, so low Donghyuck could barely hear. 

Both of them were shaking, hard, in that tiny bed, gripping each other like they were all they had, like their lives depended on it, and in that moment they did. It wasn't quite the explosion of feeling Donghyuck thought that it would feel like when Mark answered his confession, reciprocated his utter affection. It was truly more of an implosion, his insides burning, so much going on inside him that he wasn't sure quite how to let it all out. 

"It's...it's okay that things aren't perfect or how we thought they would be, Mark," Donghyuck spoke, starting to trace circles on Mark's gaunt cheek. "As long as we're together, it's okay. Being together...it's more than we expected these days, right?" 

"Yeah," Mark answered, managing his first smile since Donghyuck's confession, the joy of this moment finally sinking in. "It is..." 

"The only dream I've ever had is for us to be mates for life." 

At his words, Mark's smile quickly faded, looking down between their bodies. Donghyuck rubbed his back and gazed upon him in concern. "But...but Hyuck, that won't be very long. My life won't be very long." 

Donghyuck shut his eyes tightly for a moment. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. But more than all of that, he wanted to be strong for Mark. 

"It doesn't matter," he mumbled, and it was the truth. As much as it hurt, it didn't matter if they didn't have very long. They needed to take advantage of the time that they did have together, make the most of Mark's last years, give Donghyuck enough love and memories to get him through the rest of his life. 

"But I'm gonna hurt you," Mark choked out, voice broken.

"It doesn't matter," Donghyuck repeated. "You'll hurt me more if you reject me over this." 

Mark pondered over Donghyuck's words for a moment. "I wanna be with you so bad," he breathed out. "But it would be so selfish of me." 

"Then be selfish," Donghyuck firmly answered. 

Mark fell silent for a moment. He ran his fingers along the collar of Donghyuck's shirt, his tan neck, the shell of his ear, his soft, dark auburn hair. Finally he let himself lock eyes with Donghyuck. Donghyuck didn't say anything, didn't touch. He let his one hand stay on Mark's back, keeping him warm, grounding him to earth, but moved his other hand back to his side. This was a big deal, Donghyuck knew. As badly as he wanted Mark he didn't want to pressure. 

"Okay. I'll be selfish," Mark spoke, more to himself than to Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck took in a deep breath, his lips turning in an astounded smile. Before he could control himself he reached over and pressed his lips to the corner of Mark's jaw before pulling away, staring shamefully at the spot he pressed his mouth too. 

"I'm sorry, I should've asked, I just can't-" 

"No," Mark interrupted seriously. "No, I...your lips are so soft, Donghyuck, I like it." 

After taking a deep breath Donghyuck nodded to himself and kissed the area again, more tenderly, more slowly, with more control. Yes he loved him and needed him but he had to be careful. Mark was precious; he couldn't be over eager.

"Again," Mark mumbled, clutching Donghyuck's strong alpha arms. Donghyuck listened, kissing a little further up Mark's jawline now, then paused. He had to give this moment its due; he'd dreamed about it for so long he couldn't just go ahead and do it. He let his eyes fall onto Mark's lips and he yearned, so badly. 

"Why'd you stop?" Mark whined, just the cutest and Donghyuck almost died just thinking that cuteness was all his. 

And that was all he needed to press his lips to Mark's, their first kiss.

It was better than he ever imagined. 

He didn't want to linger too long and ruin everything so he pulled away, right when it felt right. Mark looked blown away and Donghyuck smiled pridefully. 

"I didn't even think I'd get a first kiss," Mark admitted with a quiet giggle. "Let alone one like that." 

Donghyuck chuckled and brushed Mark's hair out of his eyes. "I'll give you as many of those as you'd like." 

Suddenly, Mark tightly clutched the front of Donghyuck's shirt. "So...we're promised? I...I wanna promise myself to you, I want to, really bad...." 

"Yeah. Yeah, we're promised," Donghyuck answered, shifting back onto his side so he and Mark faced each other in the bad. Easily their legs intertwined, foreheads pressed together, so much warmth between them that briefly, Donghyuck thought Mark could never be cold again. 

Again they fell silent, just letting the moment run through them, between them, alternating between breathless smiles and shocked expressions.

"I love you so much Donghyuck," Mark finally whispered shakily. 

A shiver ran down Donghyuck's spine just hearing those words leave Mark's mouth. His greatest fantasies could not compare to this. It was the moment he'd spent his adolescence living through as nothing more than a pipe dream, his ideal but it was better, somehow. It was so much better, with the real Mark by his side, as long as he could be. 

"I love you too," Donghyuck spoke. "I love you too. My promised mate." 

Mark smiled. "I'm so lucky." 

"Me too." 

Mark paused. "No, you're not, it's-" 

"Mark I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have you." 

Mark made the smallest, cutest noise and buried himself deeper into Donghyuck. Donghyuck smiled and held him close, Mark just like a tiny ball, Donghyuck surrounding him, protecting him. 

"I don't want you to leave." 

"Me either," Donghyuck answered. He never wanted to leave. All he wanted was for things to just be like this, forever. 

But he had to leave some time. Some day. This had an end, an expiration date. 

But Donghyuck would deny it as long as he could. 


	12. eleven.

Being Donghyuck's was the most wonderful thing Mark had ever experienced in his life. 

But truthfully, he needed it. He needed all of those wonderful moments with Donghyuck to get through the rest of his days. The times where he was all alone at home, bored and lonely out of his mind. But even more those times when his dad was home, Jaehyun. 

The sun had set a while before, and Donghyuck was long gone when Jaehyun came back home, no Doyoung by his side. He'd said the hunt was so bad that the best hunters needed to stay a little bit longer, just in case they could get a little bit more food. Jaehyun had been immediately sent home for Mark's sake, and his sour expression told Mark everything he needed to know. 

But he could ignore it for a while, when his skin still tingled with Donghyuck's touch and he could still feel Donghyuck's lips on his own. He couldn't let Jaehyun's cloud touch him just yet. 

Really, though, as hard as he tried, he couldn't quite keep that feeling going for very long. Not while Jaehyun was so unusually quiet, heaving great sighs, staring out the window in longing, and not the sort of longing for his mate to come home. 

Mark swallowed. It made him feel gross. 

Every second this continued Mark's beautiful afternoon with Donghyuck faded in his mind and his utter disappointment came to the forefront. He was sick. He needed more care from his parents. But that wasn't his fault at all; and children often fall ill without being in these circumstances. When a parent has a child, shouldn't they acknowledge that? Shouldn't they keep it in mind that their child may need extra care before having one? 

Mark crossed his arms and adjusted himself in the bed, turning onto his side. At this point, he was so disgusted with his own father that he couldn't even bear to _look_ at him. 

"Mark?" Jaehyun spoke, his voice a little high pitched and quiet. He rubbed his son's arm, and although Mark could hear the clear concern in his voice, he wasn't moved. "Is something wrong?" 

Mark took a deep breath, in and out. He couldn't take this any more. He had the strength to finally have this conversation. "Yes. Yes something is _fucking_ wrong." 

"Oh my god do you feel okay?" Jaehyun spoke hurriedly, looking over Mark. 

"I'm fine, dad, I don't feel sick, I'm just pissed off!" He cried, voice growing louder and louder, the first time he'd ever raised his voice at his parents. Jaehyun jumped back in surprise; omega children were notorious for being extremely obedient to their parents, even through their teenage years. 

Unless they felt their parents had truly wronged them. 

_Unless they felt their parents had truly wronged them._

Jaehyun pondered this as he looked at his trembling child, the guilt and pity overwhelming on his face. "Mark... I-I'm not sure what's going on but I love you, we-"

Mark scoffed. "You're not sure what's going on?"

"Look, I can tell my words the other day must have hurt you and I'm _sorry,_ but-"

"But what? There's no but to this." 

"Mark, there _is,_ it's just-" 

"Dad!" Mark yelled. "Dad, I'm just...okay, okay, it's _so hard_ for you to not be hunting or whatever, but you know what else is hard? Having the only person you come into contact with, all day, wish they were somewhere else when you're together. It's just...it just hurts so much that you're embarrassed to take care of your only child who, I might add, doesn't have much time left anyways!" 

Jaehyun winced _hard_ at that and stared pointedly at the floor. 

"You're just being so obvious that you don't want me, or at least want me enough to be doing this. Okay maybe people talk shit about our family and our situation but it's embarrassing that it affects you deeply enough to show your only son how upset you are to be by his side. You know, you're mated to a beta. You signed up to have an unusual family life. You signed up for the fact that beta children are almost always sick; didn't Kun say it was a miracle I've lasted this long? That I was healthy even for those first ten years? Maybe if you'd used your brain and thought about what being mated to a beta was like, you wouldn't be in this situation. And maybe I'd be healthy. But, I guess using your brain is hard for the typical alpha." 

"Mark I am madly in love with your father. Didn't I say that all of this sacrifice was worth it? To have him and to have you?" 

"You clearly don't get it if you think of this as a sacrifice. And you don't seem to love either of us enough to take your sacrifice in stride. What kind of sacrifice is it if you make us feel guilty every day for what you're doing?" 

Jaehyun and Mark just looked at each other. Mark could feel his father's struggle just in that glance: the words of the pack and society and other alphas and his ancestors before him, versus the words of Doyoung and Mark and Taeyong, two messages vying to tear him apart. 

Was it wrong for Mark to wish he didn't have to feel this way? Was it wrong for Mark to wish that he just knew what the right thing was and to act on it? Was it wrong for him to wish Jaehyun could overcome all the toxic alpha messages in his heart? 

"Mark, I-" Jaehyun started, more upset than Mark had ever seen in his life, maybe on the edge of crying. And alpha's tears are a rare thing. 

But this was Mark's turn to be upset. He was in the right, and he'd had enough. 

"Dad, just get out. Leave me alone."

Jaehyun watched for a long time but Mark just turned in his bed, staring at the wall. Finally he heard the sound of the door gently shutting behind him, and his father's footsteps moving far away. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a long period of silence before Mark heard anything again. It was the voice of his other father, Doyoung, walking up to the front door. Doyoung and Jaehyun were having a muffled conversation at the doorway; they both sounded exhausted. Mark sighed. He never meant to get Doyoung involved too, but it looked like now, that couldn't be avoided. 

He seemed to leave again but Jaehyun did not come back inside. A few minutes later Mark heard their voices again for a brief moment before he heard footsteps in the house. 

And into Mark's room walked Doyoung, his beta father, alone. It was almost strange; Doyoung had been so busy lately that they almost never had time alone together. 

Wordlessly, Doyoung began to take care of him, checking his blankets, his water, the medicine that kept him living but barely alive. It was a long time before he even spoke. 

"Things are hard right now. The famine isn't improving. Every day, all of us adults have to work harder to keep everyone alive. And you're getting older. It's impossible and we all know it, but you want to go out, do things, be independent. So we're all on edge right now. Nobody is their kindest, best self." 

Mark sighed. Doyoung was right, ever the logical beta. But his anger was soothed only a little, and there was only so much sympathy he could give to his alpha father. 

"I'm still upset though," Mark mumbled, truthfully. 

"Of course you are." Doyoung sat down on the edge of Mark's bed, brushing some black hair out of his face. He rolled his eyes and smiled, but so close, Mark could see the exhaustion evident on his face. "I get it. _Alphas_. But Jaehyun is one of the best of them. Everyone has their flaws, right? And he has his own too. But he tries his best, I promise." 

"Oh god. If he's one of the best then..."

"I know, Mark, I know....but...he does his best." 

"I just don't get it dad. You're the best hunter of the pack, right?" 

Doyoung thought for a moment before smiling proudly. "You could say that, yeah." 

"Then why did you mate with Jaehyun? You didn't really have to mate, did you? And wouldn't you mate with an omega who would totally support your hunting and do all the home stuff for you?" 

"I mated with Jaehyun because I loved him. And I still do. And I've never regretted being his mate." 

"But... how did you two even meet? Did you meet in school or on the hunt? Did you always just hunt? When did you realize you were a beta; wouldn't that have stopped you from hunting?" 

"I honestly didn't realize I was a beta until I was around your age. Maybe a year or so younger. Up until that point I was raised as an alpha." 

"Then... why did you and Jaehyun even consider mating? You wouldn't have considered each other until then..."

"We actually didn't meet until we were in our twenties. I was raised in a different pack." 

"Wait, what?" Mark cried. He was truly confused now. 

Doyoung took a deep breath. "I guess, I should tell you the story of Jaehyun and I. It's a... complex story, so, keep that in mind." 

Mark was curious, of course, but he was more so weirded out by his father's obvious nerves. Why would he react this way? 

But before Mark could think on it any further, Doyoung began. 

"So...you know about the war, right?" 

"Of course." Even though Mark and all of his friends had been born just after the war, their victory was one of the pack's biggest sources of pride, discussed frequently for years after its end. 

"Actually, I was raised in the enemy pack and lived there until the final battle. Your grandmother and I spent most of our lives there." 

Slowly, Mark's jaw began to drop. "B-But...weren't all of them evil?" 

"Well...there are unkind people in this pack as well, and omegas are restricted no matter what pack you're in. But that pack...it was truly a nightmare to live there. There wasn't a voting system for Head like there is here; the strongest alpha of the pack became Head. And omegas were tossed around carelessly. Once I found out I was a beta, I feared for my life and dignity every day. Some of your old friend's parents are from that pack as well: Sicheng, Jungwoo, Ten and Taeil. All of us were mistreated in some way or another. Maybe the alphas were disgustingly cruel. The omegas could be cruel too but they were so helpless, it was understandable. So...I wouldn't say _all_ of them were evil. But compared to this...it was hell."

"I'm really glad you came to this pack then...did you and grandma move when the war ended?"

This was the moment when Doyoung swallowed and looked down at his lap. "Well...." He sighed. "I'll just explain. During the final battle, our pack invaded my old pack. I was fighting my way through because I wanted to make sure my mother and Taeil stayed safe. But, Jaehyun realized I was a beta. Actually, Johnny was about to kill me. But he saved my life and took me with the omegas." 

Doyoung chuckled at that and Mark tilted his head. "What's funny?" 

"At the same, I was so upset about it. But I'm truly grateful that he did that for me." Mark was just even more confused, but he continued listening to his father. "So...we got here to this pack, and Taeyong told us that all of the alphas of our pack were killed in the battle." Mark gasped, but Doyoung just carried on. "And our territory didn't have enough room for an entire pack's worth of pups and omegas. So...Taeyong had to send them off." 

"Send them off?" Mark tried to understand him for a moment before getting his meaning. "Like...without an alpha to help hunt?" 

"They...they ended up being okay," Doyoung defended, but Mark could see in his eyes his doubt about this issue too. Mark felt like he'd learned so much and yet it _still_ had so many questions, thought so many things didn't quite line up. And he still hadn't learned how he and Jaehyun got together, but fear was growing and growing in his heart. 

"But then, how did you and Jaehyun meet?" 

"Well...before Taeyong sent off the omegas, he let some of our pack's powerful alphas...chose amongst the leftover people to stay in the pack." 

"Stay in the pack for what?" Mark asked. He didn't like where this was going. 

"To be...to be mates." Mark quickly looked shocked but Doyoung continued talking, trying to calm him down. "A-as you could probably assume at this point, Jaehyun chose me...and Johnny chose Taeil, and Yuta chose Sicheng, and Taeyong chose Ten, and Yukhei chose Jungwoo. And, well...we ended up falling in love. All of us did." 

"You fell in love...through _that._ "

"Look, he and I-" 

"He...dad....he..." 

"Mark, I know it sounds bad. And things were difficult between us at first, but we ended up learning more about ourselves, and each other, and we both grew and grew together! And it didn't feel wrong to fall in love with him. It never felt like I was giving in, instead, I was just accepting a different part of myself." 

"So let me get this straight. You're the best hunter of both packs. Half your old pack gets killed and the other half gets abadoned. And you just decide to suck it up and fall in love?" 

"We didn't just suck it up, Mark, we tried to escape but-" 

"You tried to escape? So...these alphas, just, trapped you here and forced you to mate them?" 

"They didn't force us-" 

"Oh my god," Mark interrupted, falling back onto the bed. "Doyoung, did you want what you have now? Did you want to be mated to an alpha? Did you think Jaehyun, I dunno, was cute during the battle?" 

"I...When I was young, I wanted something different, I won't lie. Before I came here. But as I grew as a person I realized I wanted exactly what I have right now. This whole thing was _so_ complicated, Mark, it's a hard story to tell quickly but it's not as bad as it seems, I swear-" 

"That. is complete. Bullshit!" Mark yelled. Doyoung gasped; he too was shocked to see Mark so upset. At the loud noise Jaehyun came running back in, muscles tensed in full alpha mode. But he completely changed when he saw Mark's angry and Doyoung's shocked expression, staring with hurt and surprise at Mark, and wrapping his arm around Doyoung's waist. 

"What's going on?" Jaehyun cried. "Doyoung always understand you better..." he mumbled. 

"I can't believe it. I can't _fucking_ believe it!" 

"Mark," Doyoung whined worriedly. 

"I hate you both. I seriously hate you both. Jaehyun, you're just a terrible person! Doyoung was a strong independent beta before you forced him to be your mate and took away his freedom. Why should he have ever had to take care of me? He should have been out hunting with you. Fuck, he's a better hunter than you. And Doyoung, you are so oblivious that you have been completely stockholm syndromed! You just totally let this stupid alpha ruin your life! You're so weak!" He screamed. 

At Mark's final words Doyoung shuddered and Jaehyun held him a little tighter, not protectively, just supportively. 

"You know what," Mark continued, so full of rage at everything that he could barely contain himself. "I should have never been born. Really. I mean it. You shouldn't have kidnapped and mated Doyoung by force. And you shouldn't have been weak and let all your hunting ability go to waste by having a kid. Didn't you guys think that you could also have a sick kid? Everyone knows children of betas are destined to die too soon, and I've got that destiny too, so, thanks for that. Yeah, thanks Doyoung. Never should have been born." 

Mark stared proudly back at his stunned fathers. In a way, they reacted so similarly: Jaehyun was clearly trying very hard to react calmly and gently but he was tensing up, alpha style. Doyoung was too; Mark could see it in his shoulders, and as he thought more about his parents, his childhood, his home, it made so much sense that Doyoung was raised as an alpha. But Doyoung had the beta status inside of him; he had enough calming will to make sure he didn't overreact and place a gentle hand on Jaehyun's arm, keeping him down as well. 

At that, Mark rolled his eyes. Why was it Doyoung's job to keep Jaehyun calm? In a perfect world, both of his parents would be mated to omegas, one Jaehyun couldn't quite oppress as much, one Doyoung could be free with. And if Mark existed at all, he'd be healthy. 

"Mark," Doyoung spoke, his voice cracking with utter hurt. 

But Mark was hurt too. He was hurt from what is and what was, from what he came from. So he shifted into the bed on his side, avoiding his parent's eyes. 

"Go away," he mumbled. 

"Mark, please," Jaehyun begged. 

"No. Go away, please, leave me alone. And tomorrow, don't bother to stay here with me. Go hunt. I know both of you would like that better." 

Mark felt his parents eyes on him for a long time, watching his curled up figure, waiting to cry until they left him alone. He stared at the dead flower stems, still in a glass on his bedside table. 

_They were dead, but they died out of love. They didn't spent a life in the ground, held back, growing for nothing._

Mark counted his blessings when his parents finally left him alone. 


	13. twelve.

Mark didn't have peace again until the next day, in the bright afternoon, with his love by his side. 

He didn't sleep, at all. He was grateful that both his parents left for the hunt in the morning, to be gone all day, like he had requested. But being alone at home forced him to fester in his feelings, only getting a few naps in here and there between the pounding headache of his thoughts. 

Until Donghyuck arrived, and his heart settled. Just feeling the alpha's arms around him, warm skin on his own, soft breaths on his face, made him feel at ease, let his mind quiet a little bit. 

"What's wrong baby?" Donghyuck asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the gentle mood of the room, speak above the crackling of the fire. 

Of course Donghyuck could tell how upset Mark was. Mark had tried to be strong and hide the cloud over his head for his promised mate, but clearly, Donghyuck had seen right through it. But, maybe it would help Mark to talk it through. So he sighed and spoke. 

"I got in a big fight with my parents last night." 

Donghyuck took in a breath and wrapped his arms around Mark in that tiny bed, holding him closer. "What was it about? Did you discuss Jaehyun's behavior?" 

Mark nodded and hummed. "Well...it started with that. I confronted him about how he acted, and what he told me the other day about being an alpha. I said that it hurt that he didn't want to be with me and cared more about being an alpha than anything else, me _and_ his beta mate. He tried to defend himself but...I just wasn't having it. I didn't want to talk to him." 

"Oh god, Mark, I'm so sorry..." Donghyuck spoke quietly, rubbing Mark's back in circles. "I...I can feel your heart racing; it must have been so hurtful to fight over that and for him to even try to defend himself." 

"It was...it was bad, but fuck, it just gets worse." 

"Oh my god..." 

"So, Doyoung got back from the hunt, and he went to go look after me instead while Jaehyun, I dunno, cooled down or something like a fucking animal would need to. Well, I didn't want to talk to him anyways but...so he came in to talk to me and at first it was alright, he actually kinda made me feel better, like, saying we're all really on edge right now..." 

"That is true," Donghyuck softly said. 

"But...but then I...well, I'm upset with Jaehyun's behavior towards Doyoung too, not just me. I feel like it's unfair that he expects Doyoung to do omega work when he's a beta, and a better hunter at that. Like, didn't he think about these things before mating Doyoung? Well, that was my point then. So I asked Doyoung why he even mated Jaehyun if he's such a good hunter and since Jaehyun's an alpha with such...backward ideas in his heart. And...oh god, that was the worst part. Fuck. So, Doyoung was part of the enemy pack during the war, and our pack killed off all their alphas and abandoned their omegas, and then Jaehyun picked Doyoung out of a line up, like fuck cattle, to be his mate. And Doyoung ended up going along with it? I'm...I'm so disturbed. I came from _that._ I'm disappointed, too. Like my dad is an evil kidnapper and my other dad is weak and got stockholm syndromed. Fuck...I just hate them, and I hate that one of my dads is a beta. Like if they hadn't been stupid enough to start a family then I wouldn't be sick! And maybe our situation would be normal!" 

Donghyuck sighed softly into the crook of Mark's neck and rubbed his back as Mark slowly came down from his risen anger. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this." 

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't be so upset-" 

"No," Donghyuck firmly spoke. He tilted up Mark's chin so they locked eyes. "You have every right to be angry and upset. This is such a terrible situation." 

Mark swallowed. "Thank you Hyuck." 

"Don't thank me." Donghyuck pulled Mark closer so Mark's face was buried in the crook of his neck. 

"I just...I don't even know how to feel," Mark mumbled. 

"Do you want me give my thoughts or just listen?" 

"I wanna know what you think. Of course I do, you're my promised mate." 

"Alright." Donghyuck sat up, rest his head on his hand. "Did Doyoung mention who else from that other pack was chosen in that line up?" 

Mark thought for a moment then gasped. "That's right! It was Sicheng, and Jungwoo, and Ten, and-" 

"Taeil. My dad. Who is now mated to Johnny, who picked him from that line to be his mate." Mark swallowed and looked down, thinking over this. "I understand how you feel about this. The same story is what happened to my parents. It's a little different, of course, since Doyoung is a beta and a strong beta as well, whereas all the rest were omegas. But Taeil didn't wanna mate either." 

"I-I can't believe it." 

Donghyuck sighed. "I know. It's funny that all our friends parents are in the same boat too, since Renjun and Chenle are Sicheng and Yuta's kids, and Jaemin is Ten and Taeyong's kid, and Jisung is Jungwoo and Yukhei's kid. Jungwoo and Yukhei are a little different as well; Jungwoo had feelings for Yukhei from the start, so it isn't quite as disturbing as all of the rest of our situations. But the rest of them were not happy, for quite a while." 

"Doyoung told me he tried to escape," Mark mumbled. 

"Taeil, Sicheng, and Ten were with him," Donghyuck answered. "I know. It was that bad for them at one point. It makes me sick." 

"How long ago did you find out?" 

"Ages ago," Donghyuck explained. "Once we all began to present, our parents explained the situation. Me and Renjun and Chenle and Jisung and Jaemin have discussed it many, many times. Actually, Jaemin and I still talk about it a lot." 

"And what do you think?" 

Donghyuck shrugged. "We don't know how to feel. All of our parents love each other, right? None of them have issues we can see. They're happy together, and I think they would have been happier than if they'd never been together. But...it's still fucked up. No matter how you look at it it's a little fucked up. So, we haven't really made up our minds. It just is how it is." 

Mark sighed at that; Donghyuck was right. Where their relationship came from was so messed up that their happiness should be put into question. But his parents did love each other, and seemed to have a mostly equal relationship.

"Yeah...I agree with you on that one too." 

Donghyuck quickly kissed Mark's cheek and the omega flushed a little, momentarily distracted. "About your family dynamics....while I agree with you in a lot of aspects, like, them thinking a little further ahead about what having a beta in the family is like, I don't think it's right to be so upset with Doyoung for, like, trying to live his best life as a beta. You can't help your status, you know. And betas get a ton of shit just for living. They should be allowed to have full lives, you know." 

Mark nodded and frowned. "Yeah, I guess I see your point." 

"You know, it turns out Renjun's a beta." 

Mark looked up quickly. "Wait, seriously?" 

"Yup. He just found out a little while ago. He's...he's not been having a good time of it. It's really hard to be a beta. Sometimes they feel like there's no place for themselves, in work, in family." 

"I guess I shouldn't have said those things about betas then," Mark mumbled. 

"Yeah. That wasn't right. But in everything else I totally agree with you." 

"Wow...I kinda feel guilty now." 

"You were angry. We all say stuff we don't mean in anger," Donghyuck mumbled, petting Mark's hair. 

"And both my parents do love me a lot. They devote so much to me. You know, I don't know if a lot of other parents would be as nice if they had a child who was sick, like me. Especially since neither of them were omegas so they weren't really told how to heal or take care of pups or anything. But...I...I still have anger. I'm still angry at them, and at their situation, and especially Jaehyun." 

"Which, you have every right to be. Absolutely. Just because they're generally good people doesn't mean they can't hurt you." 

Mark sighed. "God, Donghyuck. You're right. You're so right. How could I be so lucky to have you by my side right now?" 

Donghyuck softly kissed Mark's cheek. "I'm the lucky one," he mumbled. "I promise." 

"I feel so much better now. Not perfect, but better." 

"And if I can make you feel even just a bit better, than I'm glad." 

Mark rolled over onto his back and turned to Donghyuck, giving him a sly smile. "You know, you haven't even kissed me since you've been over today. You lit the fire more and then got me on this as soon as you came in," he teasingly complained. 

Donghyuck grinned back, climbing over Mark. "I'm sorry that I love taking care of your physical and emotional needs." 

"But what about my lip's needs?" Mark mumbled against Donghyuck's plush mouth. 

"That I can take care of, easy," Donghyuck practically whispered back, giving Mark a quick peck. "You, when we kiss, it's like _you're_ taking care of _my_ needs." 

Now Donghyuck gave Mark a _real_ kiss, pressing in soft and slow, leading as Mark followed, ever eager. And Mark just felt more of his tension and fear wash away; he could deal with anything when Donghyuck was by his side. He could do tonight, when he'd inevitably have to face his parents. He could do the future, the looming horizon of his fate and waiting for it to be fulfilled. 

"Pretty," Donghyuck mumbled as he pulled away, fixing Mark's hair with a gentle hand. "So, so pretty." 

"Hyuck," Mark whined, looking away shyly, some color coming back into his cheeks. Donghyuck tilted Mark's chin towards him, forcing them to lock eyes. Mark giggled softly and hugged Donghyuck tight, burying his face in the crook of Donghyuck's neck. "And you're so warm and handsome." 

"Agh, I dunno. I think you might care more about the warm part than the handsome part." 

"No way! You're as hot as you are warm," Mark teased. 

And for a few hours, at least, Mark was happy. 

~~~~~~~~~~

These days, Renjun liked being alone. 

Everyone tried their best. Well, everyone Renjun loved tried their best to be good and understanding and kind and empathetic. But...they just couldn't get it. They just couldn't see that no amount of trying to perk him up, telling him about his "options" wasn't going to make him excited about his status. 

And, everyone Renjun didn't love was an absolute asshole that made his life more of a nightmare than it already was. 

So, he liked being alone. Maybe he was letting it fester, letting it stew. But wallowing in self pity was better than pretending to be okay for everyone else. 

Renjun's personal favorite spot was far distant from where everyone else in their pack spent their times. It was by a small river, almost a creek, frozen to ice by the weather. But Renjun could imagine it beautiful and flowing in the times before the famine, and being there reminded him that one day, it would flow again. 

When the bell rang for school he'd ran out, like usual, to head over to his favorite river, so he could finally be alone. 

But to his surprise, there was another presence at its edge. 

Renjun looked down at the figure and breathed in the scent and immediately, he didn't even have to look at the person to know who it was. 

Doyoung. The only other beta Renjun had ever known. The guy everyone mentioned when talking to him about his status. The person he wasn't sure about the most: did he want to talk to him? Did he hate him? He wasn't sure. 

The older beta breathed in too and quickly looked up at Renjun. "O-oh," he spoke, his mouth contorting in a look of surprise; he clearly hadn't known Renjun was a beta too.

Renjun rolled his eyes. "My dad didn't tell you?" 

Doyoung shook his head slowly. Renjun took a deep breath and turned to leave. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Doyoung asked. 

Renjun paused but didn't turn back. "I-I don't think so." 

"I think we should talk," Doyoung said, more firmly this time. And with a sigh, Renjun turned back, sitting down beside Doyoung. 

"What are you even doing here? Isn't right now hunting time?" 

"It's over. But I needed to think." 

"This is your thinking spot too?" 

"Yup. I've done quite a bit of thinking here. I thought myself into realizing I was pregnant here." 

"Shit," Renjun mumbled, and they fell silent again for a few minutes. 

"Being a beta kinda sucks," Doyoung admitted. 

"Right?!" Renjun cried. 

"It really does. No amount of people telling you about your options is gonna make it not suck, especially since those options are exactly what makes us feel so alienated." 

"Oh my god, exactly." Renjun released a sigh of relief just hearing his words. Maybe, talking to Doyoung was a good idea. 

"We don't really get to participate in a lot of rituals and stuff. I thought I was an alpha until I was sixteen, at least, so I got to participate in some things. It must have been even harder for you, with nobody realizing you were a beta, just not doing _anything."_

"It was really bad," Renjun answered. "It's just...now, I don't see a future for myself. Do I even have a future?" 

"Of course you do. The thing is, it often doesn't seem like there's a place for you in the pack life. There is a place. You just have to work a little harder than everyone else to figure out where that place is. And I know, I know, hearing about your options sucks. But its true. If it wasn't for the famine, nobody would bat an eye if I decided I wanted to gather or tend the house all day. And it did take me a day or two to prove myself, but now nobody bats an eye when I go hunting. Alphas and omegas can't do that. They just can't. 

Renjun sighed deeply. "See, I get that. But...Doyoung, I'm not good at either of those things! I've tried keeping my room, I've tried spending time with pups, I've tried hunting. Just...none of it seems to work for me. To be honest...Doyoung, I'm just afraid that when I graduate...like even if an omega is only okay at gathering, or an alpha is only okay at hunting, they do what their status tells them, and are accepted to do that. But...there's nowhere I'm designated to go, and nowhere I seem to excel. Like, you can hunt. But I...I'm just afraid they won't want me to even try." 

Doyoung nodded sympathetically. "I can see that. Of course. I want to promise you though that your parents, your friends, would never let that happen. They will make sure there's a place for you, no matter what. And anyways. Renjun, there's got to be something you're good at. Everyone's good at something." 

"Well, I do alright in school..." 

"How well is alright?" 

Renjun shrugged shyly. "Um...I'm first in my class..." 

"See! So you're smart, and a beta. That is exactly what this pack needs. You know, hunting and gathering is not going to solve this famine. It's people like you who are good at school stuff who are gonna be the ones to figure out how we can all get out of this situation." 

"You really think so?" 

"I _know_ so. We...us betas, we can see a little bit into both sides, alphas and omegas, while still having our own thing. We can do things neither alphas nor omegas can do. That's what's gonna fix our pack." 

"I...I dunno..." 

"Look. I'm gonna tell you the best part about being a beta: we do not have the sexual distractions that alphas and omegas have. You don't really get those...reactions until you have a promised mate. Like...since I'm mated to an alpha, I get heats. But only like...once a year? Maybe less even? And if you mated an omega, you wouldn't get any heats. You'd just get ruts when they go into heat, not when you _smell_ any omega's heat." 

"Wait...seriously?" 

"Yup. Yeah, we get to miss out on certain traditions. But we can focus on other things then that they really can't." 

"Wow..." 

"Not to mention you can be with anyone, alpha or omega, and still be able to have a family." 

Renjun smiled. "True, true." 

"So...yeah. I'm not gonna deny it sucks. But it's not the end of the world, being a beta. And you still have a future, and you always have a place." 

"Thank you so much, Doyoung. Your words have been the first that...I can really hear, you know? Maybe...maybe this is better. Than me thinking alone." 

Doyoung gave him a gentle, fatherly smile. "I think it's better for me too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey readers! i hope you're enjoying the story thus far!!! 
> 
> these past two chapters, i really just wanted to address the critiques i got/the things i realized about my last fic, the prequel to this story, what it means to be yours. as time has passed i feel less and less comfortable with the basic plot of that story (like the omegas/doyoung getting forced to live with alphas and then slowly falling in love with them). im still proud of a lot of it. its some of the best writing ive done and definitely the fic ive written thats gotten the most attention. and the majority of the readers didnt really seem to question the story all that much. but i felt like the sequel really had to call the questionable parts of that story to account. 
> 
> so if you've read the prequel to this, please let me know what you think! did i address the issues well? did you feel like the prequel did have questionable morals? or did you think it was fine, and the moral issues either weren't that bad/in that prequel i dealt with it well enough to make it not an issue?
> 
> please let me know! your feedback and comments in general make me a better and more motivated writer. thank you all so much!
> 
> -RainbowDonkeys


	14. thirteen.

It was morning time the next day, and Mark finally felt a little bit okay. 

Yes, he was angry at Jaehyun and upset at both his parents and upset about their family situation in general. But now that his mind was a little bit more clear he could at least understand why his parents felt the way they did. He didn't agree with it, but he understood. And that was enough to want to make up with them. 

He didn't want to stay angry at them for very long. No, he couldn't at all. Not when he wasn't sure of the last time he would see them. 

Clearly, Doyoung and Jaehyun felt the same way because a few minutes after Mark woke up, he heard a knock on his door. 

"Come in," he spoke, his voice groggy with restless nights. 

In walked Jaehyun, followed by Doyoung. Mark's eyes widened; he was surprised to see both of them there, with the hunt and the famine and everything, at least one of them would normally be gone by now. 

"Yesterday we asked Taeyong if we could take some time in the morning. This is more important than anything," Doyoung explained when he noticed the shock on Mark's face. 

Mark hummed and nodded, trying to figure out how to formulate his words in the best way possible. 

"I...I'm gonna talk first." His parents nodded, so Mark continued. "Now, I have to be honest. Your...meeting story still makes me really uncomfortable. I get it, I wasn't there, but from an outside perspective...it's still really weird. But, I get that you two are happy now. So, what can I do. And of course you both have your flaws, just because you're parents doesn't mean you're perfect. We all have flaws. And I know you guys both love me and care about me so much. You've both gone above and beyond for me when...I dunno...an average parent would have cast me to the wayside long ago. And, well, I just wanna say sorry to you, dad, Doyoung. I shouldn't have said those mean things about betas. You shouldn't be...I dunno, banned from starting a family just because of your status. Betas go through a lot and I should've understood. I guess...I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm still upset about certain things, but that it doesn't mean I don't love both of you, and I know both of you love me. I just don't wanna fight any more." 

Both Doyoung and Jaehyun nodded, taking in their son's words. Finally, Doyoung answered. "See, Mark, I understand you, and that's why it's so hard. You can't really rationalize how Jaehyun and I got together. You just can't, and that's why we held off telling you for so long. And even though it hurt I understand what you said about betas too. I know where it came from. I just wanna say though...you being taken care of is not, some, I dunno, amazing thing. It's your right. It's what you deserve no matter what, it doesn't make us exceptional. We're just doing our job as your parents. I'm sorry that we've ever made you feel that's not the case." 

Mark swallowed and nodded. "Thank you," he mumbled softly. 

Jaehyun suddenly cleared his throat. Everyone turned to him. Although Doyoung was involved in Jaehyun was the stem of the argument, and Mark was nervous for what he was going to say. He really didn't want to fight anymore. 

"I'm sorry," Jaehyun finally spoke, his voice shaky, his eyes wet. Mark was in shock but he listened, closely. "I'm so sorry. I...shouldn't have acted like that, like I would have rather been hunting than spending time with my precious, precious son. It was so selfish and vain of me. I...I've always struggled with that, as you could probably tell from me and Doyoung's story....I've struggled with, like, breaking free of those alpha stereotypes. Every time I've succumbed to that it's hurt me. But I thought I had pushed past that, when Doyoung and I finally mated officially. I realize now that I haven't. So, I'll work on it, every day. So I can be better for both of you." 

Mark could see that Doyoung's eyes, too, were beginning to well with tears. The beta reached out to rub his alpha's back and it was so different from the other day, when Doyoung had to hold back Jaehyun's anger. Instead, he was comforting Jaehyun to allow him to bring those other emotions forward, the non alpha kind. And Jaehyun was succeeding in doing that, even without Doyoung's help. Already, things were better, even if it was just a little bit. 

"I love you, Mark. You're my everything. You're the best gift I've ever received. And, I don't want to fight any more either. But if this fighting could lead to me being better to make you happy, then it's worth it. But I want to just be good, now, the kind of alpha father you can be proud of. So we don't have to fight again." 

Jaehyun put his face in his palms, his body shaking with sobs even if Mark couldn't see it on his face. Mark gasped and Doyoung held Jaehyun a little closer. 

"We can't...we've...gotta make the most of it. We've gotta make the most of our time together and I can't waste it by being an asshole," Jaehyun spoke, looking away as he choked on his words. Everyone knew what he meant; Doyoung shuddered and Mark looked away sharply. 

"I love you dad, both of you," Mark mumbled. Really, he didn't know what else he could do in that moment. 

Doyoung led Jaehyun over to Mark's bed and the three shared a tight hug, as a family, closer than they had been in a long while. Mark couldn't forget everything that had happened, everything he'd learned over the past few days. But he could forgive, and that's what he would do. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Jaemin still wasn't used to Jeno's affection. 

At this point, they'd been promised mates for a little while. And in all honesty, it was lovely: no matter what Jaemin said or did Jeno was still unendingly affectionate. Kissing his cheek and holding his hand and school, wrapping his arms around him and pressing their lips together and showering him with compliments and love after school, on their rock, alone together. 

It was nice. But he still wasn't used to it. 

Sometimes, it made Jaemin feel disgusting. He didn't deserve any of this, not a single bit, especially with what he'd do to Jeno later. 

But then Jaemin remembered why he was doing this in the first place. It wasn't about Jeno it was about all alphas, and Jaemin finally getting the power over them he needed.

Only then could Jaemin make himself forget. 

Even now, Jaemin still wasn't accustomed to it. They were sitting together on that rock, Jeno clutching Jaemin in his arms. He tucked a little lock of Jaemin's hair behind his ear and Jaemin winced, although he couldn't say why. 

"I'm so happy we're promised. Every day just gets better and better," Jeno mumbled. 

"I-I'm glad," Jaemin stuttered. 

Jeno hummed. "You know, we've gotta start preparing." 

"Prepare?" Jaemin pretended not to be worried to be worried by that. 

"Yeah! Like, if we're promised, then once school finishes we'll wanna move in together into our own cabin, and I don't know about your parents but my parents wouldn't like me just mating an omega they hadn't met before, plus my brothers and sisters are dying to meet you. You know, I hope this doesn't creep you out but my sisters Hyejoo and Yerim confessed to spying on you the other day! I told them to stop but I know it's because they just really wanna meet you." 

Jaemin stared at Jeno with his mouth agape, but Jeno just continued. 

"And, I know our alpha fathers are so busy with everything, but I stayed up late to talk to my dad Yukhei last night and tell him about you and find a time when we could all meet. He's so excited! He said he'll come home early tonight or tomorrow. So... do you wanna come to my house in a little while?" 

Jaemin was speechless, expressionless. 

"I'm sorry," Jeno said. "I shouldn't have just sprung that on you." 

Holy fuck. Guilt pierced Jaemin like a knife and he felt sick. 

He leaned over the rock, clutching his mouth and shaking and he heard Jeno gasp, leaning to hold his arms steady. 

"Oh my god, Jaemin, are you okay?" 

Jaemin took three deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out.

He couldn't do this, fuck, he couldn't do this. He had to break up with Jeno now, in a real sort of way. Oh my god, he couldn't do it. He couldn't follow through with his plan anymore. It was what Jeno deserved. 

Jaemin finally forced himself to sit up and locked eyes with Jeno, that worried gaze making its way into his soul. He looked back at the alpha teen, all concern and affection etched onto his face. And Jaemin's heart shattered. 

He...couldn't break it off either. He couldn't explain it, really, but he couldn't tell Jeno he didn't want to be with him anymore. His heart aches just thinking about it. 

Jaemin knew the truth, deep inside, that maybe some of Jeno's affection was returned. 

But he wouldn't acknowledge it. If he was staying with Jeno, he was following through with his plan. It would be worth it, so worth it in the end. He just had to stick by it. 

He took a deep breath. He'd wasted time already, he now had to figure out, quickly, how to tell Jeno he couldn't meet his family without losing his affection at all. 

Jaemin knew he couldn't meet Jeno's family. He would never forgive himself. 

"Are you alright? I'm sorry, do you want me to take you home?" Jeno spoke, clutching Jaemin's arms like his life depended on it. 

"I'm fine," Jaemin said, managing a gentle smile. "Just felt a bit sick for a second, but now I'm fine. I promise." 

Jeno exhaled, relieved, but still looked over Jaemin with a hint of concern. "Are you sure?"

Jaemin nodded. Now, it was time for him to make his excuse. "About our families meeting... Jeno, that's such a good idea! Taeyong's been super busy lately so I haven't told him yet. And I haven't talked about us with Ten yet either because I just assumed he'd love you as soon as I brought you home." Jeno smiled and flushed at that, and Jaemin immediately felt relief. This was going to be okay, it was gonna work, he could stay on his plan, as much as he was starting to dislike it. "But I think I should talk to my parents about us before I meet yours." 

Jeno nodded in understanding, not a hint of unhappiness on his face. "That makes sense. Of course!"

"I promise I'm so excited to meet your family though," Jaemin lied. 

"Me too, me too. Actually, this might be even better! Maybe we could find a time when all of us could meet up? My parents, my siblings, your parents, and us. I know it would be hard for my alpha dad and especially Taeyong to find time but they could just stop by for a little while, right? Oh, and I promise I'd make sure my sisters didn't pester and grill you too much. Both our omega dads are close, right? From the old pack?" 

"Yeah, actually, they are," Jaemin answered. Ten was always an oversharer with his son, so Jaemin knew Jungwoo wasn't quite as close as the others from the old pack were (Taeil, Ten, Doyoung, and Sicheng). But they were still close nonethless...and that might not be a good thing. Jaemin didn't want Ten to know anything until his plan was totally complete, and gathering omegas were known to blab. He wasn't going to tell Ten about this yet, and if he could control it, neither would Jungwoo. "I would really love that though, a big get together. Everyone would have fun. Just...let me bring it up with my parents first, alright?" 

"Of course." Jeno quickly pecked Jaemin on the lips. "Seriously, I can't wait." 

"Me either," Jaemin lied, and ignored the warning in his heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck was relieved when he saw Mark that day. There was still a shadow over him- there always was, even in their happiest moments. Donghyuck knew why it was there and why it couldn't go away: Mark's loneliness, his parents, his fate. 

But over the past few days, that cloud had seemingly grown darker and thicker over Donghyuck's head. Donghyuck knew there was a reason for it being there, and he could only do so much to make him feel better. So he tried his best, but he knew it was fruitless to some degree. Still, it hurt to see Mark suffering so much, so much more than he already was before. 

So when Donghyuck laid beside Mark, clutching him in his arms, and Mark returned his touch with a smile; a massive wave of relief washed over the teen alpha. He wasn't perfectly happy, he couldn't be, but he was much better. And that's all Donghyuck ever wanted for him. 

"How's it going?" Donghyuck mumbled into the crook of his soft neck. 

Mark hummed. "Better. So much better." 

"Did your parents apologize?" 

Mark nodded sleepily into Donghyuck. Donghyuck knew that for anyone, the release of such emotional tension would make them tired. But for Mark, who was weak as it was, it was utterly exhausting. Talking to Mark was lovely, of course, but if Mark needed to rest, Donghyuck was okay with that. Having Mark in his arms was more than enough. 

"We had a big talk this morning. I said sorry for the stuff I said about betas. That wasn't nice of me, especially knowing about Renjun...but my parents apologized for everything else. Jaehyun even cried." 

"A little?" Donghyuck asked in surprise. 

"No, a lot." 

"Wow..." Donghyuck mumbled. 

"Is it really such a big deal for alphas to cry?" 

Donghyuck nodded. "I don't think I've cried since I presented, or even a bit before..." 

"How long ago was that?" 

"Maybe, three and half years ago? I presented in the first year of upper school." 

Mark giggled. "That's when I presented too. Well, I mean, I wasn't in upper school, but I would've been..." 

"That's the average age, right?" 

Mark nodded. "The only healthy thing my body's ever done." 

Donghyuck pressed a kiss to the corner of Mark's lips, trying not to think about what it would've been like to be at school with Mark when they both first presented, realizing their statuses were compatible, that they could be together. How perfect that moment would have been. 

"Who was the first to present?" Mark asked. 

"Jaemin. Like, the day after he turned thirteen. Way early." 

"Oh wow, that is young..."

"Next was Chenle, but that wasn't for another year. Once he presented we were all so nervous; if Jisung wasn't an alpha... that couldn't have been good. I was after Chenle, and while it was super surprising for everyone, we were all too nervous about Jisung to think about it too much. Jisung was next; that was such a relief. And Renjun... I don't think any of us know when he really presented. It could've been any time we just didn't realize since he was a beta." 

"Wow... that's so interesting. I bet it would have been weird to be in school while everyone was so worried about presenting. Anyways," Mark continued. "I just wanted to say thanks for helping me yesterday. I don't think I could've had that conversation with my parents today without it. I really needed to vent to calm down, but...I didn't have anyone to do that with before you. And, thank you for helping me see their side more, and about their...getting together situation, and really about betas. I would never have thought about beta's situation otherwise. Just...thank you. You don't know how much it helped me." 

Donghyuck simply clutched Mark tighter to him. "I'm so glad I could help. You know, that's what a lover is for: to let you vent and to help you through things, to listen, to support." 

Mark shuddered and Donghyuck looked down to see him smiling, eyes shining, the stars locked in those brown circles.

"I'm so glad I have you," he mumbled tiredly. 

"And I'm glad to have you, Mark. You don't know how much you mean to me." 

"And you me." 

Donghyuck simply watched as they both fell quiet. He rubbed Mark's back as he always did. His skin was still a touch chilled but every time they met, he felt a touch warmer. Donghyuck would never let himself go down that road, as it would inevitably lead to heartbreak and disappointment. But sometimes, his mind whispered to him that maybe, Mark stood a chance. Perhaps, with his love, Mark could get better. 

Mark's eyes had slowly fluttered shut before bursting open again, blinking repeatedly. He hummed and adjusted himself, trying to sit up a little more. But a few moments later, his eyes started to close again. 

"Cute," Donghyuck muttered. 

Mark whined a little and adjusted himself more, scrunching up his arms. Like a sleepy cub his eyes closed again, and Donghyuck snorted. 

"'M sorry," Mark mumbled sleepily. "I can't take a nap now. We can't waste our time together." 

"Mark, Mark, it's fine. You deserve to rest. I'll be here and I'll make sure to leave before your parents come home. I happy just to hold you, alright? It's not a waste of our time. It only is if you think of it that way." 

"You sure?" 

"Always," Donghyuck spoke, ever soft. And gently, Mark shut his eyes to rest. 

Donghyuck was simply content, to watch him, to listen to the sound of his breathing, to hold him close, to think about things as Mark got the extra sleep he needed. Donghyuck was utterly content. 


	15. fourteen.

In the cool morning air, a tense energy was spread around the pack into the forest. There was nervousness, excitement, through the entire territory: it was the first day of the test hunt. 

Almost everyone could feel it. This day was a massive deal: not just for the teen alphas participating but for omegas, to see what the abilities of the alphas their age were, and the adults, to see who would lead their pack in the future, when they were old. 

Donghyuck knew it was a big deal...but he was unaffected. Yes, he cared about hunting, to the extent that he wanted to make sure the pack was safe and healthy. But showing off his abilities or vying for Head was not something that mattered to Donghyuck. He had more important things to worry about. 

Of course, he had heard rumours here and there that Head Alpha Taeyong wanted to nominate him for Head. He hadn't gotten a chance to ask Jaemin about it, but until he did, he couldn't believe anyone. The idea of it was absolutely ridiculous. 

But even though Donghyuck didn't care, there was still that obligation to go. So here he was, walking into the forest with Jeno beside him, Jisung nowhere to be found, despite being his other alpha friend (who probably should've been there). At least he had Jeno to deal with this boring thing. Jeno seemed to be of a similar mind to himself. 

Suddenly, panting came up beside the two teen alphas. Jeno and Donghyuck turned to see Renjun run up beside them. 

"Hey dude..." Jeno said suspiciously. 

"Yo," Renjun panted back. 

"...what's up?" 

Renjun shrugged, his breathing finally slowing down. "I wanted some hunting practice. Figured I'd come along. Now that I'm a beta, I guess I should try and do everything." 

Donghyuck looked surprised and Jeno smiled at that. "That's really great! What a good idea." 

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Donghyuck mumbled. 

"As better as I can be," Renjun answered with a chuckle. But Donghyuck smiled at him; it was clear that at least now, he was able to work through his status. 

"Wait...where is Jisung?" Jeno asked. 

Renjun glared at him. "Isn't he your brother?" 

"I went into his room this morning and he was gone! I thought he stopped by Chenle's to say goodbye before coming here." 

Renjun rolled his eyes. "Well...he did stop by Chenle's, alright. But he's not leaving." 

"Oh fuck," Donghyuck groaned. 

"Yup. I stopped by Chenle's room to say goodbye and he was there. I told him to come but he was just like _oh what if Chenle gets his heat, I don't give a fuck about the test hunt_ ," Renjun spoke, doing an impression of Jisung's awkward voice. 

Jeno snorted. "Typical Jisung." 

"Maybe he had the right idea," Donghyuck mumbled. 

The group fell silent at that, finally stepping away from the main part of territory towards the West. As it was early, the sun just coming up, Donghyuck saw the main group of adults alphas duck to the South. He felt a bit of pride as he saw his father Johnny lead them into the Southern part of the woods; as the second, leading when the Head was away was his job. Head Alpha Taeyong was very busy with this test hunt, despite the famine going on. Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck were towards the back of the group, but even back there they could hear his commanding Head Alpha voice telling them where to go.

The group of teen alphas was almost at the starting point for the test hunt, and Donghyuck was beginning to get into the mood of the days, despite his indifference. 

Until, a scent carried over from the main part of the territory. It was very, very faint but he could still make it out among the scents of nature and alpha around him.

Donghyuck froze where he stood. It was _heat_. 

"Does...does anyone else smell that?"

Jeno and Renjun turned back to him and shook their heads. 

"What is it?" Renjun asked.

"Someone's heat...pretty faintly but..." 

"I don't smell anything." 

"Me either." 

Donghyuck tried to remember his lessons on status from school, how heat scents worked. 

Anyone could smell a heat if they were close enough to the omega having one. If it was long overdue or a strong one, you could even smell it from outside their cabin. Mated alphas could smell their omega's heat from miles and miles away. But alphas who were close to omegas could smell their heat, faintly but still there, from a short distance. Siblings, friends, promised mates. 

Jeno couldn't smell heat, so it couldn't have been Jaemin. 

Renjun couldn't smell heat, so it couldn't have been Chenle. 

That only left one omega Donghyuck was closed to. 

_Mark._

Donghyuck's jaw dropped and he took a deep breath, thinking for only a few seconds. 

"D-Donghyuck?" Renjun spoke. 

"Where are you going?" Jeno asked. 

"I-I gotta go." 

"Wait, what?" Renjun cried. 

"I have to go!" Donghyuck cried. Without another thought Donghyuck spun around and raced back to territory, as fast as his legs would take him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck knew his nose had been right when he reached Mark's cabin. The place _reeked_ and he wasn't even inside yet. 

The alpha teen reached for the door, his hormones already thrumming. It was open; Mark's parents weren't home. 

_Thank god._

Donghyuck didn't know what he would've done if they had been there. 

He ran through the house, ignoring the rooms, the mess, the fire, until he reached Mark's door. He threw it open without a second thought. 

The first thing that hit him was the smell, the reek, before his eyes and ears could process everything else. It sent a shudder through him, finally noticing Mark whimpering, writhing, the fear in his eyes, curled up in his blankets, more color on his skin than Donghyuck had ever seen, except for his hands, which were white from clutching the sheets. He'd stripped down to his boxers, the rest of his clothes tossed haphazardly around the room. Mark was clearly _warm,_ and with that, Donghyuck would've known what was going on even without the smell. 

He'd never been so close to an omega in heat before. It was pack custom for parents to send their child to a friend's house when the omega parent was in heat. So, most alphas never experienced this until they moved in with their promised mate, or if they were promised earlier, sniffed out their scent from far away. 

Donghyuck wasn't used to it, and the scent was immediately sending him into rut. 

"Oh my god," he breathed out, turning away, resting his forehead against the wall. He had to control himself. It was Mark's first heat, after all, an exciting but obviously very terrifying milestone in life. None of Donghyuck's friends had been through it yet, after all, he wasn't quite sure what to say, or do. 

Donghyuck knew, too, why Mark was afraid. He'd told him a few days before that when he presented, Kun told him he had a fifteen percent chance of making it to his first heat. It was totally unexpected; he couldn't have been fully prepared. 

So Donghyuck needed to be here. To help him, to take care of him. That's all he ever wanted to do, after all. 

Mark whimpered again. "D-Donghyuck...wh-what are you doing here?" 

It must have started only a little while ago; Mark still had enough wherewithall to ask him questions. In an hour or two, Donghyuck remembered from his schooling on these things, Mark would be too gone to do much of anything but beg. 

"I smelled you," Donghyuck grumbled. 

"No, no no no no!" Mark sobbed. "I-It's the test hunt, y-you should be there!" 

"Don't care." He couldn't look at Mark. He shut his eyes. 

"B-But you're gonna ruin your chances of being Head...m-my parents told me...Taeyong wants to nominate you..." 

"Don't care," Donghyuck repeated, a little firmer this time. He thought for a moment. If Mark's scent was affecting him in this way, then Donghyuck's scent was probably affecting Mark too, maybe even worse than him. Maybe, this hadn't been such a good idea. "I can go. I-I don't wanna make it worse..." 

"No! I don't want you to go, please, I need you," Mark cried, groaning and twisting the sheets in his fingers. "B-But this is gonna hurt you...it's not good for you...I-I don't know." 

"Mark." Donghyuck turned to Mark and stared him right in the eye, making the omega shudder. "If you think being Head means more to me than you, then you don't know me at all." 

Mark shuddered, again. "I...I...." 

"I don't know what to do," Donghyuck breathed out. 

"Me too." Mark had never sounded so small. 

"Mark. Do you want to?" 

"Yes!" Mark groaned. "Yes, yes Donghyuck, I want it, I need, b-but we _can't...."_

"Why not. Why not?" 

"My parents...what are my parents gonna say? They'll come home, a-and see us, and see you, and throw you out and not let us ever see each other again!" Mark sobbed at his own words and Donghyuck's heart cracked. 

Quickly. He had to come up with a solution, and quickly. Fighting through the fog in his own head, he tried to think what he could do. 

Really, there seemed to be only one way to have Mark in his heat without getting caught: Donghyuck and him would have to go far off, to the edge of their territory while Mark's heat remained, and not leave until it was gone. People would obviously be worried and suspicious about their disappearance. But maybe Donghyuck could get away with it, if nobody told his own parents that he ditched the test hunt. Mark...he wasn't so sure. But what else could they do? 

There was obviously a chance someone would catch them anyways. But both of them wanted this so, _so_ bad. 

"Mark..." he spoke lowly, trying to keep his voice, himself, steady, even, level headed. "I can take you to the edge of the territory, where nobody could see or smell us. You could leave a note or something, explaining you wanted a few days of peace...my parents will think I'm at the test hunt. It's still risky. There's always a chance we could get caught out there but it's better than being here. Less risky." 

Mark thought for a moment, still breathing heavily. "Yeah. Yeah, th-that's our best option." 

"Okay, do you need help writing the note?" 

"But wait, Hyuck, wait," Mark cried, pouting and looking in pain down at the bed. "We can't." He sobbed. "We can't." 

"Why? Just tell me if you don't want me, please! Or else, why?" 

"B-Because...i-if we're out there, c-could you stop yourself from giving me the mark?" 

Donghyuck took a deep breath. "If you wanted me to, then yes." 

Mark sobbed and squealed; clearly his heat was getting stronger, and Donghyuck's presence plus the tension in his room didn't help. "No! I want to be yours forever! I want to have it marked on my skin until the day I die but it's for you! You have to stop yourself!" 

"Why?" Donghyuck growled, immediately taking a step back, afraid he'd displayed too much of his alpha aggression and scared Mark. But in the moment of heat those things had different meanings and Mark trembled at his voice, not in fear. 

"You can't give it again," Mark spoke, quietly this time, actually tears leaking out now. "You know you can't give the mating mark again." 

What Mark spoke was true. Once given, a mating mark could never be taken back. A mated omega could never receive another mark or get rid of it. A mated alpha could never give another mark again in their lives, no matter what. Even death couldn't stop alphas and omegas from being tied together, forever. 

Donghyuck didn't care. He'd never cared. This had never been an issue for him. 

"I don't care." 

"B-But Donghyuck, you couldn't ever mate again..." 

"I don't care." 

"You'd never get over me...even when I'm long gone." 

"Mark. I don't want to ever get over you. Ever. If you want that Mark I'm giving it to you, no matter what. I swear...I swear to god I am." The omega teenager sniffled and rubbed his eyes. "You're my promised mate," Donghyuck continued. "That means I promise to make you my mate when your heat comes. We promised each other that and unless you've changed your mind, I'm not going back on it." 

"I'm so selfish," Mark finally sobbed. "I'm so selfish...t-to want that from you." 

"No. No. You're not selfish. I swear to god, Mark, I don't want anything more than to be your mate, I fucking swear." 

"I...." Mark sniffled again, pausing from speaking as another wave of heat rushed over him. Donghyuck could see the sweat on his forehead and he knew they had to go soon; Mark could only be getting more and more uncomfortable. "I deserve to experience it, right? I-I deserve to have these life experiences...heat...mating...I do. It's selfish...b-but I do." 

"Of course you do of course you fucking do, Mark, and _fuck_ you have no idea...I want it bad too." 

Mark took in a deep breath, his exhale shaky. Donghyuck didn't dare come any closer than he had been. He couldn't hurt Mark, he couldn't go too far. Just one last time...he had to make sure. 

"Do you want to do this? Are you _sure_?"

"Yes, Donghyuck, I want it, I want it so bad, please...hurry...i-it's getting really bad..." 

Donghyuck took a deep breath. A moment he'd dreamed of but truly thought would never come to pass, had never even dared to hope for, was coming true. "Okay...okay. Do you need help writing the note?" 

"I-I think I can manage..." 

Mark reached to his bedside table and grabbed a pencil and paper, slowly scratching the words down. Donghyuck could see that the words were shaky and almost a little incoherent. It was definitely strange enough to arouse suspicion, but what else could they do? Seeing Donghyuck's handwriting on the paper would just be worse. And Donghyuck wasn't sure if he could write clearly either. 

Mark slammed the paper onto the bedside table and curled onto the bed with a groan. "Fuck, fuck, w-we need to go, Hyuck, I-I need you s-so bad, f-fuck..." 

Donghyuck gave him a once over, and he knew: Mark couldn't even walk that far right now. 

So with large strides Donghyuck came closer to Mark and scooped him up in his arms, Mark quickly wrapping his legs around Donghyuck's waist and burying his head in the crook of Donghyuck's neck, scenting him until he reeked of Mark. Mark held onto Donghyuck, so tight, and with his heat scent this close Donghyuck could barely _think._ He was burning up too, sweating, so weird to have Mark like this when his skin usually felt like ice. He was even grinding on Donghyuck's chest a little, loosing whatever was left of his control. 

He was so light. Omegas were so light already but Mark weighed practically nothing, enough that Donghyuck could run through their territory while carrying him, easily. He was so thin, so frail, so needy.

They'd be okay. Donghyuck could barely think it over, too distracted by Mark's warm body around him and his scent in his arms, but he knew they'd be okay. By this point, all of the pups were in school, and the omegas were gathering, and the alphas were hunting, and the test hunt was going on too. They reeked, but not many people were at the center of territory. They'd be okay, they wouldn't get caught. 

Grabbing one of Mark's blankets with the last of his brain power Donghyuck dashed out of Mark's cabin, barely thinking to shut the door behind him before running as fast as his legs would take him, with Mark in his arms, the rest of their territory flashing behind him.

Mark whimpered as they ran, far far away from anything and everyone else that they knew, just the two of them. 

"Alpha...alpha..." 

"You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay." 

~~~~~~~~~~

It was over. It was finally over. 

Donghyuck could smell it on Mark's skin: the scent of his heat was finally dissipating. He was fast asleep, had been for a long time, his body finally calming down so he could relax. Donghyuck was tired too, the past four days had drained him completely. But he had to stay awake and make sure he was okay. This had clearly taken a toll on him, and Donghyuck needed to watch him until the smell of heat was fully gone and he could bring Mark back to his parents. 

They had gotten so lucky. Donghyuck had been on the lookout the entire time, since Mark couldn't be. But not a single alpha or omega even came near them. They didn't see, hear, or smell anyone else that entire time. Maybe, just maybe, they could get away with this.

But even if they didn't, it was worth it. Every moment of these four days had been worth it; the consequences Donghyuck knew they would both face would be worth it. 

Lying there, naked, in that cave, just the two of them. Donghyuck leaned over his mate, not his promised mate now but his real, complete mate who he had done everything with, to see the small mark on his neck. The mating mark, something Donghyuck had never imagined himself giving so soon until Mark and he met again. But there it was. 

It didn't matter that he wasn't sure when the last time he would see Mark would be. It didn't matter that soon this moment would be over: Donghyuck would have to take Mark back to his parents. It didn't matter that they might get caught and in trouble, try as they might to hide what happened from everyone around them. Gazing at that mark, what he'd given, what Mark had received, Donghyuck knew: this was the best moment of his life. 


	16. fifteen.

All eyes were on Donghyuck during lunch at school that day. 

It was the first day that the alpha teens were back from the test hunt, and everyone was finally reunited at school. Donghyuck was still exhausted from taking care of Mark through his heat (which ended less than twenty four hours ago) plus lying to his parents: he'd had to time coming home exactly to when the test hunt ended. Luckily, his parents hadn't suspected a thing (although they had asked why he smelled a little like omega, to which Donghyuck had to straight up say they were being ridiculous about), and they'd believed he went to and from the test hunt like all of the other alphas his own age. 

And to Donghyuck's knowledge, Mark was okay. At least, nobody figured their disappearances were related. Nobody had called Donghyuck to discuss anything. Later on, he'd go see how Mark was doing. But as of right now, almost everything seemed like it had gone smoothly. 

There was one last obstacle: Donghyuck's friends. 

And by the way they were looking at him, Donghyuck wasn't sure if they'd believe any excuse he gave. 

"Dude, what the fuck happened?" Renjun finally spoke up. 

Donghyuck scoffed. "What do you mean?" 

"What do you mean? You ditched the test hunt!" Chenle spoke in surprise. 

"Where were you?" Jaemin asked, snuggling deeper into Jeno's side.

"Um...something came up. I got busy." 

"Too busy for the test hunt?" Renjun asked. 

"And what were you even busy with?" Chenle added. 

"Well, Jisung ditched it too..." 

"I ditched it to make out with Chenle. Yes, bad excuse, but I really don't give a shit. What's your excuse?" Jisung questioned, pulling Chenle deeper into his lap. 

Part of Donghyuck wanted to tell his friends about the new development in his life. Truthfully, it had been hard to keep his new romance with Mark a secret, seeing as it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He wanted to just brag and talk for hours about his beautiful, and perfect mate. 

But he couldn't. The first thing they would do is judge him, say he was stupid for giving Mark the mating mark, tell him he's wasting his life. And then, even worse, would be the risk that someone would overhear. Donghyuck knew that even if his friends disapproved, they wouldn't spill this secret if Donghyuck made it clear how important this whole thing was. But if someone overheard...everything would be over. Doyoung and Jaehyun would find out, and then Donghyuck and Mark would never be able to see each other again. That couldn't happen. Donghyuck probably couldn't survive it. 

So, he had to keep up this charade, even if it felt like utter bullshit to everyone around him. 

"I was busy! God," Donghyuck mumbled. 

"Here's the thing..." Renjun started, leaning in closer to Donghyuck. "See, I've thought this over. You plan on attending the test hunt, you even show up. But then you smell heat and run away as fast as you can. And now..." the beta leaned in closer to sniff. "You reek of omega, an omega I don't know. The kind of reek that can't be taken off with a shower." 

"Donghyuck we all know you have an omega! Don't you trust us?" Chenle whined. Donghyuck looked down at his lap. He didn't want to make eye contact with them, Jaemin least of all. It hurt him, truly, that he couldn't even be honest with his best friend. 

"I can't believe you guys don't believe me. I'm not seeing anyone, alright?" 

The alpha spoke surprisingly firmly, for him, and everyone fell silent for a long moment. Giving a quick glance of all of their faces, Donghyuck felt his heart clench. Clearly, they were so so worried; it wasn't like him to keep a secret. But Donghyuck couldn't do anything about it.

"Oh my god, guys, please. Let's just drop it, alright? Jisung didn't fucking show up either. Actually, only one of the alphas in our group showed up," Donghyuck said, directing his gaze at Jeno. Everyone laughed at that, but mainly Jeno just looked proud to be a part of their group. 

"How was it anyways? We've been so busy gossiping about Donghyuck that we don't even know what happened," Chenle said. 

"It was...fine. I got some hunting practice in, which was nice. And the shitty alphas kinda left me alone since they wanted to impress Head Alpha Taeyong," Renjun answered. 

"Yeah, I agree," Jeno added. "It was just fine. Nobody really stood out, though, in terms of the next Head. Everyone just kept asking, where's Donghyuck? Where's Donghyuck?" 

Donghyuck swallowed thickly

"Everyone was surprised you didn't show up, every alpha and omega in this school is surprised. Even us. We know how you felt about the whole thing but with the rumours..." Jaemin finally spoke up, his voice small. 

"What rumours?" 

"The rumours that Taeyong wants to nominate you for Head. What else?" Renjun answered. 

"Oh," Donghyuck breathed out. Before this moment, he'd never thought there was anything to those rumours. 

"People were especially surprised you left because of that," Jeno spoke. 

"What could you have been busy with that meant more than being Head?" Jisung asked. 

"It must have been really important," Jaemin mumbled, giving Donghyuck one of those looks where he gazed into his mind, practically reading it. It made Donghyuck nervous. 

"It was," Donghyuck mumbled, too quietly for anyone else to hear. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The road from school to Mark's house was almost always empty, to Donghyuck's joy. It gave him time to think about his beloved mate, to get more and more excited as he walked there, to think about the things he wants to say to Mark and the things he wants to do with him. 

It's an especially important day for that time of thought. He wants to express to Mark, somehow, just how much those four days of heat meant to him. Truly, they were the best days of his short teen life. He just wasn't sure of the rights words to convey all that he felt. 

But, it wasn't quite time to go to Mark's yet. 

Because he was stopped in the middle of his walk. 

"Donghyuck?" 

The teen alpha froze in his tracks. "Taeyong?" Standing right there in front of him, with an unreadable expression on his face, was their pack's Head Alpha. 

"Can I talk to you?" 

Donghyuck's blood ran cold. _Fuck, he was caught, he and Mark were going to get in so much trouble, he would get chastised for not going to the test hunt and he and Mark would never see each other again and he won't even be able to say goodbye and-_

_But what could he do? This was the Head Alpha, after all._

"Sure," Donghyuck finally answered. He tried to push down his panic as Taeyong led him away, into the woods, before finally sitting down on the rock where he and Jaemin used to hang out. Before everything got confusing and wonderful and weird. 

Donghyuck tucked his trembling fingers behind his back as Taeyong sighed. "Why didn't you come to the test hunt?" 

The teen alpha swallowed. "A-actually, I came. I just left early. S-Something came up."

"I didn't even see you...you must have left really early." 

"Sorry." Donghyuck stared pointedly at the grass. 

"I'm surprised you didn't come. You didn't give me a reason to leave before hand. You always work very hard at school and at everything else. I thought you would have made sure to be there." 

"Something came up. I'm sorry." 

Taeyong took another deep breath, inhaling, exhaling. "It's also...just a little suspicious that your childhood best friend, Mark, disappears out of thin air at the exact same time as the test hunt, which you did not show up for. And returns at the same time as you did." 

Donghyuck gripped the rock and tried not to act crazed with panic. "Wh-what are you talking about? That's ridiculous. There's no proof of what you're implying." 

"You're right, you're right. There is no proof. Doyoung and Jaehyun were extremely worried, I will say...but Mark won't talk. He won't tell anybody anything of what happened during those four days. And neither will you. Which leaves us with no proof." 

It was Donghyuck's turn to take a deep breath. "What-"

"Look, Donghyuck, you're not in trouble. I'm not here to chastise you for not showing up to the test hunt. In fact, many alphas your age didn't come. It's not required, and I'm not trying to guilt you for not coming." 

"Then what am I here for?" 

"I brought you here to talk about nominations for the next Head." 

Donghyuck took in a little breath. Maybe those rumours weren't totally fake, but now.... "What does that have to do with me?" He still doubted it all. 

"Well...before the test hunt, I was considering nominating you as the next Head. Now....I'm sure I will." 

Donghyuck's jaw dropped. "Wait, what?" 

"I'm going to nominate you as the next Head, Donghyuck." 

"I-I heard you...." 

"Do you not want to be nominated?" 

"U-um...not necessarily..." Donghyuck was shaking, overwhelmed, his brain had turned to mush. What the hell was going on. "I'm just...confused. I don't understand why you'd nominate me." 

"You see...Donghyuck, most alphas can hunt well enough. And I've heard that you are above average at hunting. Not the best in your age group or the pack, but very good. In the past, that was what earned many Head Alphas their nominations and wins for Head. But...I don't think that's what makes a good leader. It's natural for alphas to be good hunters. In fact, most of the alphas your age are better hunters than the adult alphas in our pack. It's something all alphas are capable of. But....Donghyuck, not every alpha can maintain a pure friendship with an omega and not ever try to take advantage. I know I haven't been around a lot, for a long time, but I hope you know I've noticed you and Jaemin's friendship. And the fact that it's always remained a friendship, even after presenting, even after heats seem to be close by. Not every alpha could have the friendship you have with Jaemin. And it says a lot to me about how you treat and feel about omegas, things that I agree with." 

Donghyuck was completely, utterly shocked. Donghyuck did like to think he was very respectful of omegas. He loved them, liked them far more than most alphas, and they were just as much an important part of the pack as any alpha, no matter what some of the stupid bullies at his school thought. But he never thought this would be what got him a nomination for Head alpha, especially with how Jaemin's spoken about his father. 

"And....Donghyuck, I know there's no proof of what happened over the past four days...but there are assumptions to be made. An assumption that Mark, your childhood best friend, had his first heat, and you took care of him. Even possibly mated him. Now....that may or may not be true. Again, I have no evidence. But, if what I just said was true...it says a lot too. That you would be mates with an omega who couldn't provide any power in the pack, or take care of the home, or bear your pups. Many alphas mate to have a housekeeper, someone to give them heirs and provide...certain _pleasures_ for them, someone with powerful parents to give them a social boost. But mating Mark gives you none of those things, at least not long term. All it gives is love. And believing that you mated only out of love says a lot about you to me as well." 

"Wow," Donghyuck finally spoke.

"Maybe some alphas wouldn't understand it," Taeyong continued, "But to any omega, or anyone who knows and understands and loves omegas, your nomination makes absolute sense. I became Head because of the votes of omegas. And you could too." 

Donghyuck thought it over in his mind. Up until recently, he hadn't given these rumours about his nomination even a second thought. Yes, everyone knew that Taeyong was beloved by omegas and kind to them as well, but Donghyuck didn't expect him to nominate someone of a like mind. He expected Taeyong to nominate the leader of those alpha bullies at school, or at least one of their ranks. 

But that was not happening. It was him who was getting nominated, and not for reasons he thought anyone would be nominated for. 

However...the reasons Taeyong was listing off to him were, in Donghyuck's opinion, the _right_ reasons to be nominated for Head. And that was what made him even consider it. 

Maybe, Donghyuck didn't know how to get themselves out of this famine. But he knew how to love and take care of people. He knew how to defend against shitty alphas and praise the ones that did do the right thing. He knew about betas; and maybe he could give them the pack support they needed. He knew he could protect the rights of omegas that were already in place, and maybe get them some new ones. Maybe, he could make sure what happened to his dad, what happened to Taeil and Doyoung and Sicheng and Jungwoo and Ten never happened again. He could improve on the progress Head Alpha Taeyong had started. 

There was always a chance he wouldn't win, even with the nomination, especially considering Head Alpha Taeyong's popularity at the moment. But even still...maybe he deserved it. The nomination and the win. 

With a deep breath, Donghyuck smiled. "Alright, Taeyong. I accept your nomination." 

Taeyong grinned back at him. "I'll announce at dinner tonight. And no, I won't tell Johnny and Taeil that you didn't come to the test hunt."

"Thank you," Donghyuck said quietly. 

"No, thank you. Now, I'll let you go. I don't know how much fun it is talking to someone's dad. Just, say hi to Jaemin for me, alright?" 

His last words were punctuated with a soft, sad look in his eyes. Briefly Donghyuck frowned. Maybe, there's was more to Jaemin's relationship with his father than Donghyuck always thought. "Will do." 

With a wave goodbye, Taeyong left Donghyuck alone at the rock, going off down the road, presumably back to the hunt. Once he was completely alone, Donghyuck let out a little screech: of fear, of excitement, of just plain nerves. 

He knew the first person he had to tell, racing down the road to his lover Mark's.

~~~~~~~~~~

On a different rock at the other side of the territory, Jeno and Jaemin were relaxing. 

Well, Jeno was relaxing. Jaemin was pretending to relax; in reality, anxiety was tearing up his insides. 

It was getting harder and harder, all the time. Harder and harder to separate this game, this plan from real feelings. Harder and harder to tell himself that Jeno was just a piece of the puzzle, not the end of the game. 

What was the hardest was the test hunt. He had spent the whole four days alone, going to school and in his room, locking himself away from the world. 

Why? Because he missed Jeno. And he hated himself for it. It was just four _fucking_ days and by the time Jeno came back, Jaemin felt like a mess. It had been too real when Jeno showed up on his doorstep, still dirty from hunting, just to say hello. He'd been so weak when he'd pulled Jeno into his arms without thinking. And Jeno had soothed him, cooed at him, telling him how sweet it was that his pretty little omega missed him so much, and once he showered they'd never have to be apart again, for quite so long. 

After the butterflies and the happiness of that hug and those kisses faded, Jaemin was left with a pit in the bottom of his stomach. 

_Feelings._ Disgusting. 

And now, Jaemin was terrified that the more time he spent with Jeno, the harder breaking things off would be. But if he distanced himself too much, Jeno would know something was up. And Jaemin wasn't ready to end things, just yet. 

He could pretend he was biding his time to have Jeno fall harder, but the truth was he was procrastinating. He, really, didn't want to. It would hurt him so bad. It would hurt _Jeno_ so bad. Yet, that was the whole point. 

"I missed you so much on the test hunt," Jeno mumbled lowly, for Jaemin's ears only, just the thoughts that were on Jeno's mind. 

"Me too," Jaemin said, lying to himself that he was lying. 

"It was really boring. We all just hunted while Head Alpha Taeyong watched. And then when it was time to eat and sleep we talked about _what it means to be an alpha_ and all that. Everyone was so ignorant, you know? It was especially bad since Donghyuck wasn't even there...I only had Renjun. And he's nice and so wonderful and great, but another alpha buffer would've been cool too." 

_Donghyuck._ Now that was something Jaemin really didn't want to think about. His best friend in the whole wide world was clearly lying about something very important. Well, Jaemin was lying too, so it was only fair. But it hurt him to think that maybe all of this was hurting their friendship. 

But maybe, once Jaemin broke things off with Jeno, everything would go back to normal. He would feel some power and he and Donghyuck would laugh about it while Donghyuck fessed up to what was happening with him. Life would still be shitty but that was the point, right? That was how it was supposed to be. 

Maybe, there could be a perfect world. A world where Jeno was his mate but Donghyuck was still his best friend, and they told each other everything again, and things just made sense. 

But perfect worlds didn't exist. Jaemin knew it well. 


	17. sixteen.

It was in the morning before class began that Jaemin received news that devastated him. 

He was just about to leave his home, bags in hand, almost excited for the day to come when his father, bleary eyed, stepped into the main room. Ten looked at Jaemin curiously then sniffed the air. 

"Good morning dad," Jaemin said softly, eyebrows furrowing at his odd behavior. 

"Morning," Ten mumbled tiredly before coming closer to Jaemin, sniffing the air again. 

"I-Is something wrong? I'm gonna be late for school..." 

"One second," Ten muttered again, finally smelling him, close to his chest. Ten quickly sat up and swallowed. "Jaemin...keep your wits about you, alright? Listen to your body for the next few days." 

"Wh-what do you mean?" 

"It smells like you're gonna get your heat soon." 

Jaemin's jaw dropped. "H-How soon?" 

"I'll be shocked if it doesn't come by the weekend." It was a Tuesday. 

"Are you sure?" 

Ten nodded tiredly. "I've always been able to scent people's heats." 

"O-oh my god..." 

"Don't worry Jaemin. It's not that big of a deal," Ten answered, clearly woken up a little bit. He rubbed his son's back gently. "Just listen to your body. If you start feeling hot all over, or like, horny for no reason...just come home, okay? Don't worry about missing class or embarrassing yourself or anything. It would be more embarrassing to go through school with it. You know...the alphas will be able to smell, once you get it. And being around them...that could get kinda dangerous. So as soon as you think it's coming just come home. I won't care, even if it's a false alarm." 

"O-Okay dad...." 

"Jaemin, we've discussed this for years! It'll be fine. You didn't seem so worried earlier..." 

Jaemin wasn't scared about his heat at all. The one thing Jaemin couldn't say, was that he wasn't really worried about himself. "J-just...it finally being here. Is scary," he lied.

"Aw, Jaemin....you'll be safe and alright. We'll make sure everyone leaves you alone...unless there's someone you want over, then Taeyong and I will stay with someone else..." 

"No. There's no one." 

"Alright then. I don't want to make you late. Just promise me you'll listen to your body, alright?" Ten spoke as Jaemin slung his backpack over his shoulder again. 

"Of course dad..." 

"Have a nice day at school! Good luck!" 

"Thanks," Jaemin said, shutting the door and running down the path to school. He was going to need every bit of luck he could get.

~~~~~~~~~~

There was no way Jaemin could pay attention at all during class. 

At this piont, knowing what he knew now, he really regretted procrastinating on his plan. Now, he didn't have time to think. He just had to figure out how to break up with Jeno in the quickest and cruelest way possible. 

Thinking about Jeno being there during his heat literally made him ache all over. He knew it would just feel so right, so safe, make him feel so loved in an omega's most vulnerable moment. 

But it couldn't be. Jeno would mark him and Jaemin would fucking let him, and then they'd be stuck together, forever. Like his dad Ten was, just another bitch mated omega. Jaemin was sure his dad Ten wanted better for him, and Jaemin surely wanted better for himself. 

_Jeno's an alpha, he deserves this._

That's what Jaemin kept on repeating in his head. Even if it wasn't true, even if Jeno was different, maybe if Jaemin said it enough times to himself he'd believe it. 

How was he going to do this so he could take that feeling, that power that this entire thing was for? 

He needed to do it in the cruelest way possible. If he just dumped Jeno normally, with kind words, it wouldn't be enough. Jeno would be so understanding and just let him, not putting up any sort of fuss. Even if Jaemin insulted his character, he'd probably just take it. It needed to be in a way that would truly grind his gears, kill him inside. It had to be something Jeno was categorically against. 

Jaemin could insult his family? No, no, even Jaemin knew that was way too far, the idea of doing so stinging in his heart. It had to be bad, but not quite that bad. 

And suddenly, it came to Jaemin. 

One of his most precious memories of Jeno, when Jeno stood up for him and Renjun against those horrible alpha bullies. Jaemin could take that, twist that, and make it all wrong. 

He could cheat on Jeno with one of them. 

He wouldn't need to go that far with them, no, just make sure Jeno saw him flirting and feeling them up a little, no kissing even necessary. But if Jeno saw, it would be enough to really, really hurt him, and get exactly what Jaemin wanted. Jaemin knew that once he broke up with Jeno, that memory would haunt him for the rest of his days. But if he could taint it, he wouldn't have to think about it again. 

Would the alphas even respond to it, without making fun of him? Jaemin wasn't entirely sure. But what he did know was that alphas always just thought with their dicks. And if an omega like himself was bearing himself to them, they'd probably take it, no matter what they thought of him. 

Jaemin wasn't as excited as he thought he would be, as he wished he was. But when it happened, Jaemin knew every feeling he'd ever wanted to feel would come rushing into his chest. Finally, maybe, he'd have power.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jaemin avoided all his friends during lunchtime. 

He told Chenle he felt a little sick and ran off to the bathroom for the rest of that period, formulating his plan, steeling his heart. He didn't want to do this in front of all his friends, so as much as he hated to push it off anything further, just in case his heat suddenly came, he was willing to take that risk. 

Plus, he didn't think he could face Jeno yet. 

But class started up again, he told everyone he felt fine again, and he let the anxiety bubble in his stomach until the bell rang. 

It was time. 

Jeno wasn't in his class, luckily, so Jaemin had time to ignore their usual meeting spot and search for the bully alphas. He found them easily, at their usual hide out, taking a deep breath and striding over with a confidence that was completely false. 

"Whatcha doing over here, omega bitch? Where's your alpha?" Their leader asked. Jaemin gagged a little in his mouth but remembered what he was doing and why, his brain turning into utter static with how uncomfortable he felt. 

"Don't have one," Jaemin mumbled, his voice a little too warbly for his liking. 

"Don't have one? My my, you really are a slut."

"But I'm looking for one..." Jaemin answered, ignoring his words. "And you know...I think you're the kind of alpha that likes a challenge. Something to tame. Won't settle for just an omega drooling at your feet." 

The bully alpha smirked and Jaemin felt disgusting. "I'd never start with a drooly, dumb, obedient omega. But I'll always finish with one." Jaemin hid his shudder as the alphas behind their leader snickered, and he pulled Jaemin closer by the waist. "Cm'here." 

Jaemin faked a sweet, innocent, the kind he always had to fake with Jeno, in the beginning, before it all turned a little too real. He gripped the alpha's shoulders as he began to scent him, the smell crawling up into his nose and making him want to cry but he just gripped harder, almost possessively, trying to fucking _forget._ The alpha's fingers on his waist were cruel and unrelenting; Jaemin knew he'd find bruises there the next day.

When Jeno touched him, it felt protective. 

Jaemin felt empty. 

But this would all be worth it when Jeno saw, when he'd break his heart. 

And as the bully alpha began to nibble on his ear, a shout came over the field. 

"Jaemin?" It was unmistakably Jeno. 

"What does that bitch want?" the bully alpha grumbled, clutching Jaemin a little tighter. It made Jaemin smile to think this bully felt threatened by Jeno, when he didn't seem to feel threatened by anyone else. But Jaemin frowned, remembering he was now kind of on their side, instead of Jeno's.

"I'll go see what he wants," Jaemin grumbled, giving the bully alpha a snort and an eye roll before jogging over to Jeno. He stood a few paces away from his so called promised mate, crossing his arms and looking down at the floor. He was incapable of making eye contact with him, his mind running a thousand miles a minute yet blank, somehow. "What." 

"A-are you okay? What were those alphas doing?" Jeno asked with genuine concern. 

Oh god, oh god, Jeno was worried about him, Jeno thought the alphas were _hurting_ him, fuck Jaemin was going to break. "I'm great, actually," he lied. 

"J-Jaemin, you're shaking...why were over there? Were they trying to take advantage of you? They were touching you like..." 

Jaemin swallowed, steeling himself. "They were doing exactly what I wanted." His voice was strong, cruel, confident. Jaemin felt like that voice wasn't even his own. 

"Wait....wait a second...Jaemin..."

Jaemin felt like he left his own body at that moment, looking down at the cruel omega standing before Jeno, staring defiantly into his eyes. He didn't say anything. 

"You wanted them all over you?" 

"Duh." 

"B-but...but aren't we promised mates? I-I wouldn't touch another omega like that, ever, and I don't even want to." 

Jaemin scoffed, wearing a smirk. "Wait a second...you thought all of that stuff earlier was for real?" 

Jeno just stared back at him in shock. 

"God, I'm seventeen! I'm not looking for a fucking promised mate right now. I'm just fucking around." 

"B-but you said..." 

"It's just words, Jeno. It doesn't mean anything. We didn't actually do shit." 

"Jaemin, you're shaking..." 

"No I'm not," Jaemin answered, a little sharper than he'd meant to. But then again, he felt like he was an autopilot, not in control of his own actions. 

He stared into Jeno's shattered expression, broken eyes, and Jaemin's stomach just burned, his nerves absolutely on fire. Was this that feeling of power he'd been craving so badly? Or was it anxiety, sadness, his own heart broken? He couldn't be sure.

Jaemin did have to admit he felt strong, seeing an alpha so weak for him. But his stomach kept burning away; it felt like in a few minutes, he wouldn't even have a stomach left. It was uncomfortable. 

"So...you don't want me anymore," Jeno spoke, a soft mumble, staring right at the ground like he always did when he and Jaemin first got to know one another, too nervous to look him in the eyes. 

"Anymore?" Jaemin answered, barely holding back his own pained wince. 

"Jaemin," Jeno cried, low and weak, hiding his face in his hands. 

"What," Jaemin deadpanned. Jeno was right. He was shaking. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Sure about what?" 

Jeno sighed and whimpered. "Sure that...that you don't...don't want to be p-promised to me anymore?" 

Jaemin shrugged. "Yup." 

"Oh my god," Jeno breathed out, his breaths shaky. "I-I had so many plans...so much I..." he whispered. 

"That's not really my problem," Jaemin mumbled. He wanted to collapse. 

"I...I can't. I can't," Jeno finally spoke. And with that, he covered his face with his palms, and ran off the road back home. 

"That alpha's crying over fucking Jaemin," the bully alphas teased, snickering in the background. Jaemin felt his heart drop even further; he'd forgotten they were even there. 

Jaemin just stood there. Not happy, not sad, not anything. He felt like an empty shell of a human being. 

"Hey! Don't you wanna come play more?" 

Jaemin ignored him and began to run home. Just like Jeno had a few moments ago. 

Would Chenle and Jisung forgive him for this? Probably not. They were too close to Jeno, would know that Jaemin was in the utter wrong and forsake his friendship entirely. But it was alright...Jaemin didn't have anyone else anyways. Donghyuck was distracted by his secret new mate or whatever, Renjun was too focused on being a beta, Chenle and Jisung mainly just cared about each other, Jeno had to be lost anyways, and Ten would always side with Taeyong, his idiot father, at the end of the day. Jaemin didn't really have anyone anyways, what was losing a few more people to him?

He felt weird. There was power running through his veins but shame, defeat, emptiness there too. It didn't seem like he had anything to look forward to in life anymore. Not that he'd had much anyways. A future with Jeno was something Jaemin never really had, after all. 

But maybe, there was one person out there who would be proud of Jaemin. A smile came over his lips as he rushed home, thinking of the person who would regard his plan with approval, would praise him, would take away the guilt Jaemin felt, leaving just the power he'd wanted so bad: Ten, his omega father. 

It was what Ten did in his younger days, the legacy Jaemin was carrying on. 

Jaemin burst in through the front door and slapped a grin on his face, trying to press away the urge to go into his room and crawl into bed and cry into his pillow and never come out and just disappear. 

"Hey Jaemin, what's with you? How was school?" Ten asked, standing in the living room, cleaning things up a little bit. Of course, Taeyong was nowhere to be found, and Jaemin thanked god for it.

"School was great," Jaemin lied, throwing his things down. 

"So no heat yet?" 

"Nope. But I've got something good to tell you." 

"Ooh, I'm excited! Come sit next to me." Jaemin and Ten both flopped on the bed, and Ten gave his son a confused look. "Are you alright? You're acting kinda weird and you're even shaking..." 

"Oh dad, I've never been better. Alright, so I bet you've heard those rumours about me and Yukhei and Jungwoo's son Jeno spending a lot of time together, right?" 

Ten perked up immediately and smiled. "I have." 

"So, you know, I was really inspired by your stories you told me of being in your old pack..." 

"Wait...inspired?" 

"Yeah! So...I don't know. I wanted to feel that power you had. Use our omega abilities to have control, for once in our lives." 

The smile came off Ten's face and now, he just looked concerned. But in his excitement for his father's pride, Jaemin didn't notice. "Go on." 

"Well...I decided to try it out! I got really close to Jeno, and when he asked to be promised mates I said alright. I said I wanted that. Total lie, of course. So then I waited it out until it was close to my heat, just to play around with the guy a little more. But then this morning you said it was coming any day now, so it was time to break his heart. So after school, I went over to those really shitty alphas and flirted with them in front of him, and then told him I never really cared about him. Oh my god he was so hurt...I felt so powerful." 

Ten was looking at him, gaping. "Wait, wait, Jaemin...has Jeno been nice to you?" 

"Oh always. He's probably the nicest alpha at my school. He's an angel to everyone, not just me..." Jaemin trailed off, voice growing quieter. 

"Let me get this straight. You seduce the nicest alpha at your school, then flirt with _your bullies_ in front of him, who he probably hates on your behalf, then dump him and say you never cared in the first place. To feel what...powerful?" 

"Exactly." 

Ten gasped and didn't speak for a minute. "Oh my god, Jaemin, what the hell is wrong with you?" 

"What the hell is wrong with you? I just did exactly what you did..." 

"Jaemin, Jaemin, it was different! The alphas in my old pack were totally awful. Jeno is kind, and even then I never promised to mate any of them! I was never promised. Jaemin...you..." 

Jaemin looked down into the couch, his breath rate climbing higher, and higher, and higher. "I-I thought you would be proud of me..." 

Ten had his face in his palms. "Fuck. I...fuck, oh my god. I'm the world's worst parent. I'm literally the worst parent to ever live. You grew up loved and everything and I still made you just as jaded as I was when I was your age."

"Don't you want to feel powerful again, instead of just the worst Head Alpha in history's omega? Instead of just being alone all the fucking time at home with an alpha that's never around? I did this for both of us. I want you to feel my power. Dad, I wanted you to respect me." 

It was like none of Jaemin's words registered in Ten's mind. In one ear and out of the other. "Oh my god, Taeyong, I'm sorry," Ten breathed out, heavily. "I..."

Ten wasn't proud. In fact, Ten was pissed, Ten was disappointed, and Jaemin was the villain. As if he didn't feel absolutely shitty enough. Jaemin sighed. 

So, he's still alone. Honestly, he should have expected this. Always was, always will be. 

"Fuck you," Jaemin growled to his dad and ran into his room, slamming his door behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys...man writing this chapter gave ME anxiety even though ive known it was coming...so sorry to you readers. i wont give any spoilers but i hope you enjoyed this chapter even if it hurt. please leave comments if you want, they fuel me as a writer! the more comments i get, the more i want to update my stories. 


	18. seventeen.

Jaemin woke up to the sound of loud yelling at his doorway. 

He'd decided to skip school that evening. Jaemin wasn't sure if he could face anyone: definitely not Jeno, but not Chenle, or Jisung, or Renjun or Donghyuck either. Just thinking about talking to any of them made him feel nauseous. 

Honestly, he wanted to fucking throw up anyways. He'd passed in and out of sleep all night but in the moments when he was awake...he just felt like shit. Like disgusting, horrible, shit. 

But now, he didn't have the energy to think of any of that. He was too focused on the screaming outside of his front door. So bleary eyed, Jaemin stood up, standing by the door to his room to listen in. 

"Jungwoo, Yukhei, I-I'm sorry but I don't know what's going on..." Taeyong spoke loudly but calmly. Jaemin froze. There were any number of reasons that Jungwoo and Yukhei could be here. But, there was always a chance they were there for _him._

"Well then, I'll explain it to you," Jungwoo answered in sticky sweet voice. "Our very kind, sweet son Jeno got his heart broken in the cruelest way possible-" 

"He's been crying all night!" Yukhei yelled, interrupting. 

"By your _whore_ of a son," Jungwoo finished. 

"Hey! Don't you dare fucking call my son a whore!" Taeyong growled. Jaemin had never heard his alpha father go so....alpha in his entire life. Jaemin still listened by the doorway, frozen, eyes wide, shaking. 

"Taeyong, Taeyong," Ten said, desperately trying to calm his mate down. "Pick your battles. Pick your battles." 

There was a pause before Taeyong spoke again. He did sound more calm, but Jaemin could still hear his barely concealed range. 

"Fine. We'll talk with Jaemin about this. But if I find out that Jeno's in the wrong too..." 

"We'll figure that out if it happens," Ten finished for his enraged mate. 

"I don't think you'll find that to be the case," Jungwoo mumbled before Yukhei and him walked away. Ten slammed the door behind them. 

"Fuck," Jaemin heard Ten breath out. "What are we going to do?" 

"Talk to him. What else can we do?" 

"He told me a little bit about this last night..." 

"Let's just go to his room," Taeyong mumbled. "We can discuss all this later." 

Jaemin dashed back to his bed, crawling under the covers, pretending he was asleep. But every nerve in his body was on fire, he was trembling, he felt sick. 

A knock came on his door. 

"What," Jaemin answered, and both of his parents walked in. 

Jaemin couldn't remember the last time both of them were in here. It wasn't since he was very, very little and it wasn't like this: they both looked exhausted, worried, terrified. Jaemin didn't know what to do. 

"J-Jaemin..." Taeyong stuttered. "Can we talk to you about something?" 

"About the Jeno thing?" Jaemin answered. Yeah, he was sort of pretending before that he hadn't heard their conversation with Jungwoo and Yukhei. But now, he wanted to get this over with. He felt uncomfortable, overwhelmed. His brain couldn't function all that well. 

"I know you told me a little bit last night. But could you tell both of us everything? Just so we can figure out what to do," Ten spoke.

Jaemin sighed. "Fine." 

So he did: he told his parents about the plan he put in place, his seduction of Jeno, Jeno's confession, their time as promised mates, Jaemin's knowledge of his heat coming, and the break up. He was loathe to explain this. Saying it all out loud made him feel absolutely sick, but what was the point in hiding any of it now? It would just get his parents into even more trouble in the pack. And they didn't need that. 

Jaemin didn't tell them about how he felt though, negative or positive feelings toward Jeno. Honestly, he couldn't quite answer that himself. Dealing with the Jeno thing, what he felt and what he lost, was a battle he knew he had to face alone. 

When Jaemin explained everything, Ten and Taeyong shared a look before looking back at their son. 

"So...you haven't had a heat yet." 

"No," Jaemin clarified for Taeyong. 

"So...you didn't mate with him, no mark. Did you two do anything...otherwise?" 

Jaemin winced; it was unbelievably awkward to talk about sex with his dad he never talked to. But he told the truth. "No we didn't. For him that didn't seem to matter because my heat was coming anyways..." 

"Okay, okay. I see. But...you guys promised to mate?" Taeyong asked. 

"Yup. Promised mates," Jaemin curtly explained. 

"Jaemin...that's a big deal, you know," Ten said, soft yet disapproving. 

Jaemin crossed his arms and leaned back. 

"It's a meaningful thing, even though it doesn't seem like as big of a deal as something permanent and visible like the mating mark," Taeyong spoke. 

"It's just words. I didn't mate him," Jaemin mumbled. It was more for himself than anyone. The guilt and shame was setting in. Maybe if it was just words it would've hurt Jeno less, and therefore hurt himself less. 

"Jaemin-" 

The omega teen just sighed over his alpha father's words, leaning against the wall in the corner of his room. He curled up in a ball, his arms were still crossed. He didn't want to do this anymore. He felt sick. 

Ten and Taeyong shared another look as Jaemin stared at the floor. 

"W-we're gonna discuss a few things, so we'll leave you alone for a few minutes."

"Sounds good," Jaemin cooly answered. 

So with one last lingering glance from both of them, Ten and Taeyong got up and walked away, shutting the door behind them. 

A few tears slipped down Jaemin's cheek. He felt like shit: he felt like shit for Jeno, he felt like shit for his parents: their energy and their reputation, and he really felt like shit for himself: didn't anyone give a shit _why_ he did what he did? 

But that wasn't the point. He hurt someone, someone he ended up caring about, a lot. 

He just didn't know what to feel, what to do. 

So he sighed, hearing the chatter of his parent's discussion, and he forced himself to get up. Like earlier in the morning he put himself by the doorway, trying to listen in. 

He was shocked by the sound of crying, definitely on Ten's part, and Taeyong's soft murmuring to try and calm him down. 

"It's okay, it's okay," the Head Alpha gently spoke. 

"I...I...I'm just such a bad parent. I'm sorry..." 

"No, no Ten. No, you did your best, please..." 

"I'm so bad, I'm so bad, I made our son so jaded, so hateful of alphas even the good ones...I told him the stories of my youth...I thought I put it in a way that was just a story, or even a cautionary tale but he thought it was all a good thing...he did this to be like me, Taeyong. Not anything else..." 

"Oh Tennie...my Tennie...you just did what you thought was best. And you aren't a bad parent! You never know how your child is going to take thing. He's kind to his friends, and smart, and really independent...he just made a mistake. Every child makes them. And it doesn't mean it's your fault." 

Ten hiccuped but Taeyong's words seemed to calm him down. And somehow, they calmed Jaemin down a little too. 

He was shocked, a little bit. He'd never heard his father speak like this. He was...he was acting so _kind_ towards his omega father. And even towards himself, through his words. It was a little strange. It made him feel even more sick. 

"And...And I know maybe things would have been better if I was home more...if I could have taken care of you, both of you and spent the time with you that you both deserve..." 

"Taeyong," Ten answered with a sigh. "You did your best to, you know. Until the famine started, you were home more than the average alpha, despite being Head. And once the famine hit...what could you do?" 

"I dunno. I just wish things were different. I wish I could have watched him grow up." 

Jaemin's heart panged at that and he raced back to his bed, sitting down in the corner of the room again. But, that's when he received another knock on the door. 

"Come in," he mumbled. To his surprise it wasn't Ten that carefully stepped in, but Taeyong. Jaemin looked up. "H-Hello." 

"Hey Jaemin." Slowly, he made his way to the bed, sitting down beside his son. "I know the last conversation we had didn't go so well...but I wanna try again. Really." 

Jaemin just sighed, and Taeyong sighed back. 

"You know, I don't think this kind of behavior is like you. It's not like you at all. You're not a mean or cruel person, which is why this whole thing is surprising. It's so unlike you." 

"How would _you_ have any idea what I'm like?" Jaemin snapped back, refusing to look his father in the eye. 

Taeyong swallowed, staring guiltily down at the floor for a few long moments before speaking. "I'm sorry, Jaemin. I'm really sorry. Do you know how badly I've wanted to be there for you all of these years? And you know I was there, when you were little. I remember taking you to the forest to go look at the plants and the animals...playing with those little wooden toys Xiaojun's mom always makes, for hours and hours...picking you up from school and just listening to you talk about your day, and your friends, and school...those are my most precious memories, Jaemin. The happiest days of my life were the days I spent with you when we were younger. It was a deal Ten and I worked out: he was hesitant to have pups at all, so I promised to be the primary caretaker of you. It was what I always wanted, ever since I was young. You think I became Head through the votes of alphas? Well... that was the plan, at least, until all the stressors from the pack happened, especially the famine. And Ten was unprepared to take over, and I was upset about not being able to spend much time with you anymore. So it was hard on all of us. Look....I know things are different now. You're older, almost all grown up now. The pack looks way different than it did when you were young. But I want to be close again, like we were when you were young." 

Jaemin sighed, looking at his lap. "But don't you hate me? Don't you wish I was an alpha?" 

"Who said that? Who ever said that to you." 

"Everyone. Kids at school... adults too, when they thought I wasn't listening, and sometimes even when they knew I was. I should have been an alpha to take over your line as heir. I'm the pack disappointment. To everyone... but mostly to you." 

Taeyong sighed, deeply. "None of that is true Jaemin. Not a single word." 

"But what about your legacy as Head?" 

"There are many, many things in this world that mean way more to me than being Head. Ten is one of them, you're another. Even before you came around, my dream of having a family was far greater than my dream to be Head Alpha. I love pups, I love children. I always wanted to have one of my own. Status never mattered to me, not one bit. Maybe... maybe they feel that way about your status. Sadly I can't control how people feel, even if they're wrong. But I've never felt that way. But they don't know us, they don't know me. They don't know how I feel about my child. And how I feel is that I am so, so proud of you."

"Even after the Jeno thing?" Jaemin asked. He didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face. 

"Yes, even after that. I'm not proud that you did that, but I'm proud of you as a person. And now I can even understand, a little bit, why you did what you did. Even if it was wrong. But everyone makes mistakes... even me." 

As Taeyong spoke, Jaemin pondered everything. His father... his father was so sweet, so kind, so understanding, things he was sure he wasn't even capable of being. He couldn't even think of it as a lie; Taeyong was just being so sincere that Jaemin had to believe him. 

It reminded him of Jeno. Sweet Jeno who always did everything in his power to understand his pain, and treat him with empathy and kindness. Most alphas were bad, Jaemin still thought. But some were good. Donghyuck and Jeno were good. And Taeyong was good too. 

With that the tears began to flow freely, Jaemin's thin omega body wracked with sobs. And he let his father give him a tight hug. 

"I just wanna be close again, Jaemin." 

"I'm sorry," Jaemin choked out. "I'm sorry to you and Jeno, I didn't even give you guys a chance." 

"You were hurt, Jaemin. You were hurt that I was never around and all the alphas from school treated you just horribly, Ten told me that. So you felt alone, like no alpha loved you. Which is not true. It could never be true. And you made mistakes but you were hurt! You were hurt." 

And Jaemin just cried in his arms, the weight of years of pain slowly, but surely, falling off of his shoulders. There was still a lot of hurt inside of him. But now, he was realizing, it wasn't a forever kind of pain. He could fix it. 

"I care about you, dad. I care about you and Jeno," Jaemin finally admitted, after he was calm enough to speak again. It was the scariest thing he could have spoken. The two alphas who's love he wanted the most, who he pushed away the most, who he was most afraid to be vulnerable with. Two alphas he'd never let himself give a shit about. But now he had to admit it. They were precious to him. 

"I know. I've always known, Jaemin. Don't worry." 

Just then, a knock came at the door, and then again, quickly after. 

"You can see who it is," Jaemin mumbled, releasing his dad from his hold. 

"Sorry, I think Ten went out, let me just see who it is..." 

"It's okay," Jaemin mumbled softly, and let his father go to the door. A few moments later, he heard the sound of low speech from the front of the house. 

"I don't know if that's a good idea... why do you want to talk to him?" Taeyong asked the mysterious person at the door. 

"Please...I'm not here to yell at him or be angry. I just need to talk to him." 

Jaemin's eyes practically bulged out of his skull: it was Jeno.

Taeyong sighed. "Fine. Just.... please be gentle, alright?"

"I always am, sir," Jeno answered. 

Jaemin's brain short circuited as Taeyong directed Jeno to his room, a short knock coming a few seconds later. 

"Come in." And there was Jeno looking just as dead as Jaemin felt. But Jaemin couldn't look at him yet, the shame seeping into his bones. Taeyong was different: he hadn't really, really hurt his father, and it was his dad after all. He had to love him. But with Jeno...he'd really, truly hurt him. And Jeno had no obligation to love him. 

"I-I'm sorry it took me this long to come," Jeno started, standing at the doorway. "I just fought with my parents." 

"Over what?" Jaemin mumbled. 

"Did you hear their fight with your parents?" Jaemin nodded. "I didn't like that they called you... that. I'm sorry about them. They mean well. They can just be a bit overprotective at times. But, I think they'll forgive you soon."

Jeno stepped closer and sat down in front of Jaemin. Jaemin still couldn't look. He still didn't know what to say. 

"What about you?" Jaemin practically whispered. 

"Well...here's what happened after we parted ways, yesterday. I went home and cried for hours and hours. And then when all my tears were gone, I thought. I remembered everything you've been through and all the pressures you've had to face. I remembered how sincere you were during our time together. Maybe not at first, I know that, but by the time we became promised I know you meant everything. So I...I realized I had to talk to you again before things got set in stone. And I forgave you hours ago," Jeno admitted, as easy as that. And Jaemin _sobbed._ "Even though it was your plan all along; Ten told me when we passed each other on my way over here, I think I know you well enough now to say that this kind of thing isn't you. You were shaking so hard when you broke up with me." 

Jaemin was shaking again now, wave after wave of crying. And so slowly, hesitantly, Jeno wrapped his arms around Jaemin, holding him tightly to his broad alpha chest. And Jaemin felt warm, safe for a few moments before pushing Jeno away and dashing to the other side of the room. 

"Get away from me!" He cried, still shaking and crying. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve alphas like you or Taeyong in my life." 

"It's not true," Jeno spoke, ever gently. He walked over to Jaemin and rubbed his shoulder. "You've been through so much. It's hard enough just being an omega already. It's felt like almost everyone in the world was against you, ever since you presented. It's been hard. You've been hurt. And...I hope this doesn't come off as creepy, but I've been noticing you, for a long time. I've seen the hurt you've gone through, and...I always just wanted to protect you, take care of you. Like a good alpha. I was always just too nervous to approach you because you're so bright and beautiful, until you asked me to lunch that day."

Jaemin swallowed and unfurled himself a little bit, letting Jeno step in closer. "I don't deserve you," Jaemin mumbled. 

Afraid Jaemin would run away like the last time Jeno tried to hold him, Jeno just placed his big alpha hands on top of Jaemin's. "Did you mean what you said yesterday?" 

Slowly, Jaemin shook his head. 

"Did you want to be with those alphas?"

Jaemin choked a little. "I felt disgusting just talking to them." 

"Do you...still not want to be promised to me anymore?" 

"Jeno, I lied yesterday, everything between you and I was so real but I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it, and I sure as hell don't deserve to be promised to you anymore." 

"You made a mistake. Does that mean you don't deserve to be loved anymore?" 

Jaemin didn't answer. If it was anyone else in his shoes, he'd so no, absolutely not. But for himself, he didn't think he deserved it anymore. 

Jeno sighed, realizing what was in Jeno's thoughts. "Well then...I don't care what you think. I want to love you, no matter what you think you deserve. As long as you let me." 

And suddenly, just like when Jeno had first confessed, Jaemin launch himself across the space between them to give Jeno a massive hug. He buried himself in the crook of Jeno's neck, still tearing up. 

"I didn't want to go through with it," Jaemin admitted, very quietly. "But Ten told me my heat was coming soon. And I didn't wanna mate you in the context of this plan." 

"But it's all out in the open now. That context is gone." 

Jaemin sighed softly and Jeno held him tightly, finally relaxed in his grip. 

"If you have your heat...should I still come over?" 

Looking up into Jeno's eyes...the omega slowly nodded. 


	19. eighteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check end notes for TW

It had been pitch black out for hours, the dead of night, and something told Donghyuck he had to go to Mark's. 

It was just a feeling, a premonition. But the tugging in Donghyuck's heart just, sort of, _made_ him do it. Even if his parents were home, even if he got caught. He had a feeling Mark would want him there.

So as quietly as possible Donghyuck slid out of his bed, pushed open the window, and climbed his way out of his cabin. 

_Fuck it was freezing out_ but Donghyuck ran through the cold wind in his pajamas, knowing the warmth of Mark's home would take the chill away. And when he finally reached Mark's window he pushed open the fogged up glass and hoisted himself inside, it was. He shut the window as quickly as he could, not wanting to make Mark even colder than he already was, and breathed a soft sigh of relief. 

Maybe his warmth was due to the blazing fire in the small room, the only light in its pitch black. But maybe it was Mark's handsome, beatiful sleeping face. 

Donghyuck smiled as he gazed at him even as his heart panged. 

Before Mark's heat Donghyuck really, truly thought Mark was getting better. He was still slight and skinny and frail but there was color in his cheeks and his skin wasn't like ice to the touch. 

But once Mark's heat ended...all of that had gone away. 

The extra meat he'd gained fell off his body. The chill returned and he was paler, more colorless than even before Donghyuck came back into his life. His voice was gruff and most of the time when Donghyuck came over after school, Mark had just been napping, not reading like he did before his heat. He was getting worse and they both knew it. 

And it was obvious, even just by looking at his mate's sleeping frame. 

It _hurt_ him to see Mark like this. It hurt because there was a chance this all came from their heat, their love, that experience Donghyuck cherished so much in his own heart. He couldn't help but blame himself, a little, even though Mark would've gotten a heat whether or not Donghyuck was in his life. 

But Donghyuck sighed deeply and kicked off his shoes. These moments with Mark were precious. He couldn't waste them. So he pushed aside that horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach and crawled into bed next to Mark. 

His omega was shivering but as soon as Donghyuck wrapped his arms around him he relaxed, just a little bit, Donghyuck steeling himself to that feeling of ice on his skin so that he could give his Mark the warmth he needed. Mark breathed a soft, sleepy, sigh of relief and Donghyuck pushed aside the collar of his pajamas with a smile. There it was, on his neck, the mating mark. And Donghyuck really smiled. 

"D-Donghyuck?" Mark mumbled, his eyes briefly blinking open. 

"Yes, its me," Dongyuck answered ever gently. 

"Mmh...'m glad you're here." 

"I'm glad to." 

Mark's eyes fluttered back shut and with a lingering caress to his gaunt cheek, Donghyuck fell asleep too. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck awoke when it was still mostly dark out. 

It took him a second to remember where he was, listening. It was completely silent. Normally, Donghyuck guessed, Jaehyun and Doyoung would be preparing for the hunt. But they had both pleaded with Taeyong to stay home at least in the mornings, ever since Mark's heat and disappearance. They, too, knew Mark's condition these days was just getting worse, and worse, and worse. 

But it was _silent._ The only sounds in the room were the fire and his own breathing. 

Donghyuck jolted up to sitting; _Mark._

His heart dropped into his stomach. He couldn't hear Mark breathing. He wanted to throw up. He had to check but he didn't want to. He was already crying for fuck's sake. 

But Donghyuck took a shallow, shaky breath and turned to look at his mate. 

He was completely still. Even the rise and fall of his chest was absent and in one last, desperate attempt to keep himself afloat Donghyuck stuck his finger under Mark's nose to see if he could feel the air from his breathing, but, nothing. He let his trembling fingers touch Mark's limp wrist, his neck, but there was no pulse to be felt. 

It was real. This whole moment Donghyuck had been afraid of dealing with, not letting himself think about, was here. 

Technically, he knew it was coming all along. He had known it and Mark had told him, repeatedly, that this was their fate. But part of Donghyuck had refused to listen. Part of Donghyuck always thought Mark just magically might get better, and that they could have a life together, and even if Donghyuck had to take care of Mark a little they would still be happy together. At one point, there had even been a chance. But since Mark's heat Donghyuck should have known, should have come to terms with it. 

But he'd just wanted to be happy with Mark. 

The weight of the moment finally hit Donghyuck like a fucking punch to the gut and he slapped a hand over his mouth, covering a silent scream, tears streaming down his face uncontrollably. His heart throbbed and Donghyuck knew his body would react to this as much as his mind would, he loved Mark to the moon and back and his body knew that. His body felt his pain, felt the feeling of losing a mate and Donghyuck kind of felt like he was going to die too. 

Donghyuck fell off of the bed but he didn't even notice, the crash reverberating throughout the cabin but Donghyuck just sat there on the floor, not knowing where to look, what to do, how to feel other than empty. Like half of himself had been snatched away. 

The crash was soon followed by the sound of running through the house and loud chatter, but Donghyuck couldn't hear. His ears were ringing. He felt like he wasn't even there. 

But he returned to earth when Doyoung and Jaehyun slammed open the door to the room. 

"Donghyuck? What are you-" Doyoung spoke before Jaehyun noticed Mark, and froze. With shaking fingers, Jaehyun did everything Donghyuck had done: tested his pulse, his breathing, looked at his chest. 

"M-Mark..." Jaehyun stuttered, shaking the dead body of his son. "Mark..." 

Doyoung's jaw dropped and he just stared at that ground. Jaehyun looked over his son, his face, his neck, before pulling down the collar. 

Donghyuck was basically in another world but he noticed when Jaehyun released a breath, looking from the mating mark on Mark's neck to Donghyuck's shaking, sobbing, silent figure up against the wall to his own mate. He beckoned Doyoung closer and Doyoung gave it only the briefest of glances. It was clear that they now understood everything but Donghyuck couldn't find the will in him to give a shit, in fact, to care about literally anything at that moment except the loss of his darling Mark. 

It was so quiet. Nobody could speak. It was like Mark's own silence left all of them speechless, even with tears streaming down all of their faces. Their cries and sobs were silent in the dark gloom of Mark's old room. 

But finally, Jaehyun broke up. He turned to Donghyuck with a voice controlled into emotionless stability. 

"Do you want to carry him to Kun's?" Jaehyun asked. 

Donghyuck nodded. "Yes," he choked out, in between sobs. 

So Jaehyun and Doyoung stepped aside so Donghyuck could pick him up. It wasn't the sweet koala bear hold Mark had given him when they'd ran away for Mark's heat. No, all Donghyuck could do was scoop him up, bridal style, still not even able to think about anything else but keeping Mark comfortable in his hold. It didn't matter, but it was all Donghyuck could think about. 

"Let's go," Jaehyun muttered, and the three walked out of the cabin into the cold morning air. The air was refreshing and it was nice not to be trapped anymore in that fucking stuffy, overheated house. But it didn't make Donghyuck feel better. 

He walked beside Doyoung and Jaehyun. The three all took a slow pace, Doyoung completely buried in Jaehyun's arms, the beta holding onto his alpha so tightly. Fuck...if Donghyuck felt bad, losing his mate, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose your child that you made. Donghyuck's tears fell onto the shirt of Mark's pajamas. 

"I can't even look at him," Doyoung tearfully whispered into the crook of Jaehyun's neck. 

"Me too, me too," Jaehyun answered. Donghyuck sighed, and they finally reached Kun's. 

Jaehyun stepped to the door and knocked, and Kun quickly answered. 

He grinned. "Hey guys-" The smile immediately fell off of the omega healer's face seeing Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Donghyuck's faces, and Mark's body in Donghyuck's arms. "Alright. Follow me." 

Kun led the three of them through his healing hut into the private room, shutting the door behind him. 

"Kun, please," Doyoung begged. 

"Donghyuck, can you put him on the bed?" Kun asked. Donghyuck could see in his eyes how destroyed Kun felt as well. But it was obvious he was trying to stay strong, keeping his healer stability, for the other three's sake. 

Donghyuck set him on the bed so gently, like he really was just asleep that Doyoung hiccuped a little. Quickly Kun looked him over, hiding his face from the rest of them. 

"Kun, please!" Doyoung repeated. 

"One moment, one moment..." Kun mumbled. Doyoung sobbed loudly and slumped over in the corner of the private room. 

"Kun, can you bring him back? Kun...Kun...he's not gone yet, right? You can bring him back?" Jaehyun spoke loudly. 

"Jaehyun-" 

"Bring him back!" The alpha cried. "Bring him back Kun!" 

Donghyuck just stared down at Mark's still body. Speechless, empty. Taking in the chaos around him, Jaehyun's anger, Doyoung's depression, Kun's clinical analysis, but none of it absorbed. He was simply a vessel. 

"Bring. Him. Back!" Jaehyun growled in the most alpha voice he could muster. Doyoung and Kun shuddered. 

"I can't!" Kun cried back. He finally turned to the other three and they could all see the tears shining in his own eyes. They all fell silent again. "I...I can't. He's been gone for hours." Kun hiccuped as the tears began to drip down his own cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

And with that Donghyuck and Jaehyun's tears started up again, quiet, shaking as they hid their faces from the other two. Kun cried for another moment or two more before swallowing back his tears and taking a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry," Kun repeated. "He...what a sweet boy, that Mark. What a sweet boy. I...this must only be making it worse. Let me...let me continue my work." 

With that Kun fell silent again, obviously expending so much energy to try and keep himself together. Jaehyun sighed too and walked to the corner where Doyoung was still sobbing, simply standing next to him. Donghyuck gave Mark another glance before walking to the opposite corner. He didn't want to make this more difficult for Kun; get in his way. 

It could have been minutes or hours when one of them finally spoke again. It was Jaehyun. 

"What did it?" He asked. 

"Uh?" Kun, clearly in his own thoughts, turned to Jaehyun. 

"Wh...what did it, in the end?" Jaehyun repeated. His voice was rough and quiet and completely broken. Donghyuck knew that if he spoke, he'd sound like that too. 

Kun sighed deeply and gave Mark another once over before his eyes landed on his neck. "It had to have been his heat. It must have been too much for his body to handle." 

Donghyuck sighed himself and let his head fall between his legs. 

"So wait...you're telling me that Donghyuck, who, clearly was the one who gave Mark this mark and mated him, was the one that killed my only son?" Jaehyun spoke, slowly, deliberately, his voice trembling. 

"You killed him?" Doyoung spoke, his voice shaking even harder than Jaehyun's. "You had fucking heat sex with my sick son and killed him? Oh my god..." 

"Fucking disgusting asshole," Jaehyun growled. Donghyuck looked up, sensing the tension in the room, and saw Jaehyun's muscles all clenching, as if he was preparing for attack. 

"You motherfucker!" Doyoung screamed at the top of his lungs. "Fuck you! Fuck you Donghyuck! Selfish horny teenage alpha, who doesn't even care about our sick son! Fuck you!" 

And suddenly, Jaehyun charged. 

Now everyone knew Jaehyun was the best fighter in the pack so Donghyuck took a deep breath, readying himself. Jaehyun threw the first punch and Donghyuck managed to dodge it, luckily. 

"Oh my god," Kun breathed out. 

And Donghyuck calmed down, a little. He shouldn't get all alpha right now; there was an omega in the room. He sensed Jaehyun and his own attack pheromones climbing higher so he willed himself to calm down. He gripped Jaehyun's fist in his hand, holding it back, trying to get the adult alpha to bring it down. 

"Doyoung! Jaehyun!" Donghyuck cried, still fighting against Jaehyun's strenght. "Yeah. Maybe the heat did kill him. But how much longer would he have lived anyways if it didn't happen? Would a few extra weeks have been worth it? To die without experiencing heat, or being mated, or love? Do you think it would have been fucking worth it? And anyways," Donghyuck paused to sigh. "He would have had a heat anyways, whether or not I was there to help him through it. That would have put a strain on his body anyways." 

"Donghyuck is right," Kun finally spoke up. "If he was going to live to have a heat, it would be bad for him, no matter if he was alone or with an alpha. In fact, going through a heat without any alpha help probably would have been worse for him." 

Jaehyun and Doyoung fell silent again. They paused, just a few moments. And slowly, Jaehyun lowered his fist. He detensed and burst into sobs wracking his whole body. Doyoung followed and he got up from his corner to hold his alpha. 

The tears came back to Donghyuck's eyes too and he stood there, defeated, in the middle of that private room. 

And suddenly, the door burst open. 

"Oh my god, Donghyuck, what are you doing here? We've been looking for you for hours you just disappeared-" Johnny spoke, Taeil by his side as they began to step inside the private room. 

"Get the fuck out of here," Jaehyun growled. Johnny tensed a little and Taeil looked worried. 

"Please," Donghyuck said between sobs. "Listen to him." 

"Oh my god, what is happening?" Taeil cried. 

"Guys guys guys guys guys," Kun mumbled and grabbed Johnny and Taeil, leading them out of the door. 

Donghyuck thought he heard the mumbling of Kun explaining what happened to his parents but Donghyuck couldn't really manage to give a shit, going over to Mark's body. He peered over him for a brief moment before looking at his even more colorless face, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. 

Doyoung, too, stepped on the other side of the bed while Jaehyun hideously sobbed in the corner. 

"I'm sorry," Doyoung whispered. "You...you loved him too, I guess." 

All Donghyuck could do was nod back, as Kun stepped back inside. 

"Donghyuck, your parents really want to talk to you." 

Donghyuck gave his lover's body one last lingering glance before tearing himself away, walking out of the door to see his parents staring at him. 

"Oh sweetie..." Taeil said softly, hugging his son tightly. "Donghyuck, how could you have mated him? Given him the mark? You knew this was going to happen..." 

"I...we're really sorry, Donghyuck, but we can't believe you just...threw away a chance for a mated life. You can't give the mark again, you know," Johnny added. 

Donghyuck hiccuped and cried before taking a deep breath. "This...this is why I didn't tell you guys. You'd never understand. I just knew you two wouldn't get that Mark is all I've ever wanted. It's okay that I can't mate again. I'm okay with it, because I got to be with Mark for a little while." 

"But Donghyuck-" 

"Please listen," Donghyuck interrupted his father Taeil. "I'm never going to want anyone else anyways. I got to mate him. I got to make the end of his life happy and full of love. I got to be with him for a little while. It hurts now, but it's okay. He deserved that. I deserved that." 

"Donghyuck, when you get older, I don't know if you'll feel the same way," Johnny spoke. 

"Dad, papa, none of us know how I'll feel in the future. We just don't know. You're right, I might feel differently than I do now. But I think I'll always feel the same: that I don't regret it. I couldn't regret it. I'm glad I did everything I did." 

Taeil and Johnny let go of their son and looked at him, pain and pity in their eyes. Donghyuck knew all they did was love him. They just wanted him to have a good and happy future. It was hard for them to fathom that being tied to Mark forever was Donghyuck's happiness. But they were trying their best. 

"I...I need to be in there with Mark again. I'm sorry," Donghyuck said. He didn't even know he was capable of more tears but he could feel them springing in his eyes. "Just...go home. I might need a while." 

"Alright. We understand," Johnny and Taeil said, starting to turn away. 

"Wait," Donghyuck spoke. They turned around briefly. "I hope you know I can't regret it. I just hope you know." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to spoil/ruin the shock factor of anything for people who dont need TW so i decided to do it this way for people who do. So...
> 
> TW: death and description of dead body


	20. epilogue.

_Ten Years Later_

Technically, now, things were good. 

The angst, the struggles, the fear of their teenage years were gone, replaced by a general confidence and an ease of life none thought were possible. For most of them, at least. 

It was all thanks to Renjun, really. Once he finished upper school, instead of spending his time hunting or gathering or searching for a mate like most kids his age, he spent his time trying to come up with a solution to the famine. And he had: realizing that certain animals liked certain food they gathered, he figured out how to purposefully grow plants to attract animals. Now, a large tract of territory was set aside for this new thing Renjun called farming, raising plants and animals, but nobody minded the lack of space. And nobody minded Renjun was a beta anymore. In fact, he easily became pack Second after the elections, and was even promised to a sweet omega girl. 

Meanwhile, almost all of his friends mated. Chenle and Jisung and Jaemin and Jeno were able to mate almost as soon as high school was over. Jungwoo and Yukhei too had managed to get out one more kid, a sweet little omega boy Hendery, before Jungwoo's body couldn't give birth anymore. The amount of people and children and grandchildren constantly running around Jungwoo and Yukhei's home was absolute insane. But Taeyong and Ten and Yuta and Sicheng managed to steal some time with their own grandchildren as well. At this point, the only fights in their pack were between Jungwoo and Yukhei, Taeyong and Ten, and Yuta and Sicheng over time with their grandchildren. 

But despite his busy life, dealing with a mate and pups, Jaemin always managed to find time for his best friend. 

After Mark's passing and Jaemin and Jeno's reunion, Donghyuck and Jaemin reunited as best friends, as if the little blip in their friendship had ever happened. Even though both of them were far different people than they were before. 

And that's what Jaemin was doing now: taking a moment to spend with his best friend, walking towards the hill Donghyuck was laying down upon to sit next to him and talk. 

Donghyuck, too, had to make time. He wasn't mated, of course, but being Head Alpha was a busy enough job in itself. 

"Yo," Jaemin called, sitting down on the hill next to Donghyuck. 

"Yo." 

"How's life?" 

Donghyuck chuckled. "Same. A good same though." 

Jaemin smiled. "Me too." 

"How are the kids?" 

"Oh," Jaemin chuckled. "Loud. But sweet, as always. My parents have them right now, giving Jeno and I a break for a couple days. Jeno can barely stand it." He chuckled. "How's your work?" 

"Agh...you know. It's like...it's like the whole pack are my pups. It's hard enough now, while everything is good. I can't imagine what it was like for Taeyong to be Head during such bad times." 

"He had his family though. That must have helped." 

Donghyuck sighed and sat up a little. "Do you know what today is?" Donghyuck asked. Jaemin shook his head. "It's the tenth anniversary of Mark's heat." 

Jaemin quickly fell silent. "Oh." 

"Yeah. That's why...that's why I needed you, to talk to. Just for a little while at least." 

"Is this..." 

"Yeah. This hill is his grave." 

Jaemin took in a breath. "I can't imagine what it's like to not have a mate." 

"I do have a mate," Donghyuck answered. "He's just dead." 

"I...I can't even fathom the hurt you must feel." 

Donghyuck chuckled sadly. "I know I have it bad. Next week is the...the date of his passing. So I'll meet with Doyoung and Jaehyun then. But...but this date is almost worse for me, you know? Because ten years ago today was the happiest day I've ever experienced. It was the day I deluded myself into thinking I might be able to spend the rest of my life with him. But...I know Doyoung and Jaehyun have it bad too." 

"Now that I have pups I understand. I feel physical pain just thinking about losing one of them." 

"Yeah. They're just...broken. You can see it all over their faces." 

"You can see that they love you too though. Nobody defends your leadership more than them. Not that your leadership gets questioned a lot...but they're always there to defend you. And I don't think anybody campaigned harder for you to be Head Alpha." 

"It's true. Not even my own parents tried as hard." 

The two young men fell silent for many moments. Jaemin stared across the fields, through the farming, through the cabins, off into the distance, back to his home. Donghyuck looked down, caressing the grass of this hill between his fingers. 

"Do you regret it?" Jaemin suddenly asked. 

"What?" 

"Do you regret it? Mating Mark? Like, not even just the fact that you can't mate again. But like...this pain you have to deal with now. That I know hurts you so badly. Do you wish you weren't with Mark, so you could have avoided this?" 

Donghyuck didn't even have to think for a second. "Never. I have never once regretted everything I did with Mark. Not during our time together, not at his passing, not even ten years later. I...I found my soulmate. And I would rather give everything to my soulmate than hold back for him, and give myself to someone I could never love as much, always wondering what could have been. I know I hurt now but it's gotten less painful over the years, I promise. And...I made him happy Jaemin. I made the last few months of his life happy. He was so lonely before...and I think I made him feel good and loved. What more could I ask for? What more could I possibly ask for?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and...that's it!!! oh my god. i have been thinking about and planning this fic for over a year, and now...it's done?! that's crazy to me. i know it was a painful one, but i hope you all enjoyed it anyways. thank you all so much for reading, your bookmarks and subscribes, your kudos, and your comments!
> 
> did you like it? did you not? questions; comments? PLEASE let me know! comments keep me going and always inspire me to continue writing. 
> 
> if you like my writing, i have so many stories here or on my aff (same username) i have many, many nct stories as well as loona and exo. if you enjoyed this fic and did not read the prequel (what it means to be yours), id reccomend reading that too! 
> 
> what's next? well, to be honest after writing this emotional rollercoaster of a story, i want to write something fluffy and lighthearted. my next story is going to be called dude, you gotta get it from johnny. it's a silly fluffy story about johnny as a college weed dealer. it focuses on johnil but it's got ot21 and similar ships to this story! the first chapter will be up very soon.
> 
> again, thank you all so much! i wish you all the best. 
> 
> love, 
> 
> RainbowDonkeys <3


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